my first christmas present..........

ok, my dad family sucks. this year they decided to send the whole family 1 gift. of course i open it and what am i to find…….

oranges and grapefruits from florida.

but they also decided to give a jar of crappy jelly that we get every year and a knife thing to spread it.

i know you dont care but these are my grandparents….i'll tell you a couple ppl that will be getting another fruit cake.

thats why i love my moms family…….which means you will be rid of me on christmas week.

so what are you bitches getting for christmas………??????????????

Originally posted by flawd101:

i know you dont care but these are my grandparents….i'll tell you a couple ppl that will be getting another fruit cake.

Damn,that's funny.You just know that whoever gives you a fruit cake either a)has no idea what you like or b)couldn't care less.You go flawd!! I'd say it goes something like this:Well,I didn't really want to give you anything after that thoughtless gift you gave me, but i feel obligated so,here's a delicious fruit cake!!Happy holidays.

Originally posted by flawd101:

i know you dont care but these are my grandparents….i'll tell you a couple ppl that will be getting another fruit cake.

you mean in the mail, or as a grandson?

Dont you mean they'll be getting a fucking fruitcake flawd?

they will be getting a fucking cheap, nasty fruit cake that i wouldn't touch with walkie's heart…….and no…i'm not a fucking fag…..sorry, did i say fag? i mean fruit, dont want to offend anyone. i have no fasion sense and am not to lucky with da chicks so i can't be gay…..

Originally posted by flawd101:
i have no fasion sense and am not to lucky with da chicks so i can't be gay…..

very well put.

Originally posted by flawd101:
crappy jelly

KY?

Originally posted by flawd101:
they will be getting a fucking cheap, nasty fruit cake that i wouldn't touch with walkie's heart

you know, old people sometimes like that shit, you better be careful and get them something you know they won't like, if you really want to stick it to 'em

My dad always found a good deal on something and just bought like 10 of them and everyone got the same thing. Then when I was a teenager he just started writing us all checks for $60. A few years later, $50. A few more years, $40. Now he can't even be bothered to write a check. In fact, he doesn't even get dressed when I bring the family by to visit!

Poor old dad, he sure is lonely. I'm glad I didn't get his depressoid isolationist genes.

My siblings and I always joke that we'll give the old man a $40 check for xmas, birthday etc. But I never do.

When I was a kid, my grandmother (she was so bad-ass, moved to NY from SC at age 20 and sang professionally until she met my grand-dad)once wrapped up a box of Waffle-O's for me(anyone remember that cereal?) and put it under the tree. It was her favorite cereal. She'd play xmas songs on the piano. Even when she was half blind and had real bad arthritis she could still get on the piano and play tons of songs from memory. What a hilarious woman. Totally dry and sarcastic and always willing to laugh at herself.

Sorry for the trip down memory lane folks, I just hadn't thought about this stuff in a while. The holidays can be bittersweet.

heres a funny story from the homeland.

Canadian Fruitcakes

Fruitcake the latest banned item on airlines

CTV.ca News Staff

Holiday travellers packing one of the season's traditional fruitcakes had better hope their journey's short. Transport Canada says the festive confections are not welcome on the nation's airplanes.

The ban is not, as one might suspect, the punchline to a joke about old, dried-out fruitcakes making lethal weapons.

That would be in bad taste.

According to the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority, fruitcakes are being banned because they are notoriously difficult to identify on the X-ray scanners used to inspect air travellers' luggage.

And that, according to the agency's Jacques Duchesneau, means the otherwise innocent cake could prompt unnecessary security alerts and subsequent delays.

The fruitcake is just the latest in long list of items banned from travellers luggage in the wake of the September, 2001, terrorist attacks in the United States.

All the likely weapons – from automatic guns to razor blades – are banned, of course. But among the more unusual items, air travellers would do well to remember they should leave their ice skates at home. Or at least pack them securely in luggage destined for the cargo hold.

As for that homemade wine intended as a gift for travellers' hosts? It should also be packed away. It's one of the "unidentifiable" items the security authority has banned from carry-on luggage.

And, the agency warns, don't forget to take any holiday gifts you're packing unwrapped. If the contents are hidden beneath ribbon and wrapping they could be opened by security personnel at the airport.

i always thought the gift that required little effort or thought was soaps………..

i remember i once gave my sister a soap basket for christmas thinking i would have the best/crap gift for her only to open my gift from her on christmas morning and find a soap basket………..the worst part is she had "won" as the soap basket i'd given her was nicer……….if that's possible……………..

what a bitch……………..aah christmas certainly brings back the warm fuzzy memories of family doesn't it………

Poorlulu:
i always thought the gift that required little effort or thought was soaps………..
i remember i once gave my sister a soap basket for christmas thinking i would have the best/crap gift for her only to open my gift from her on christmas morning and find a soap basket

RA:
Oh man, poorlulu, that's funny. I LOVE soaps. I go to stores like Marshalls or TJ Max, get a bunch of cool, vegetable-based soaps (good selection, discounted), & give them as presents. Plus I'll always have them as presents for people I might not know I'm gonna see, like out of town friends. A couple days ago, my sister told me, "Don't get me any soap." Some people think that's a strange gift, but I don't. It's something you can use so it doesn't take up space for long.

As far as little effort? I don't know. It takes me a while to decide on which soaps to buy, but I tend to be indecisive at times. I always get some saop for me, too. I have a shitload.

Originally posted by poorlulu:
i always thought the gift that required little effort or thought was soaps………..

i remember i once gave my sister a soap basket for christmas thinking i would have the best/crap gift for her only to open my gift from her on christmas morning and find a soap basket………..the worst part is she had "won" as the soap basket i'd given her was nicer……….if that's possible……………..

what a bitch……………..aah christmas certainly brings back the warm fuzzy memories of family doesn't it………

Soap on a rope!

With the soap basket you still have the basket after the soap is gone…with soap on a rope you're left with a piece of string.

We used to get dad hankies with his initial on. We just got the 'W' because you could get those right off the shelf at marks & sparks. It would cost a bit more to get 'WO'. He used to pretend to be as excited as he was the previous year when he got hankies with his initial on! My dad ruled the world.

Originally posted by Ruth Ann:
Poorlulu:
i always thought the gift that required little effort or thought was soaps………..
i remember i once gave my sister a soap basket for christmas thinking i would have the best/crap gift for her only to open my gift from her on christmas morning and find a soap basket

RA:
Oh man, poorlulu, that's funny. I LOVE soaps. I go to stores like Marshalls or TJ Max, get a bunch of cool, vegetable-based soaps (good selection, discounted), & give them as presents. Plus I'll always have them as presents for people I might not know I'm gonna see, like out of town friends. A couple days ago, my sister told me, "Don't get me any soap." Some people think that's a strange gift, but I don't. It's something you can use so it doesn't take up space for long.

As far as little effort? I don't know. It takes me a while to decide on which soaps to buy, but I tend to be indecisive at times. I always get some saop for me, too. I have a shitload.

You sound very clean Ruth Ann…mind you, you probably stink after hanging around horses and cats all day. :D

sorry ruth ann

but soap = crap gift…………..

not to mention what it implies…………i mean really, you gave me soap because……………..?

my dad always got hankies with initials from m&s too and socks and underwear…………poor dad

he always said the same thing every year…………
socks and pants tremendous
oh and hankies as well superb…….

Soap as a gift implies the same as a Whitmans sampler, "I don't care enough about you to make any effort on a gift, so here's some fucking soap/Whitmans sampler"

They do have their uses though because you can always re-gift them to someone you don't give a rats about.

When I was about 10 or so some friends of my parents gave me little pillboxes for xmas. I was so pissed. I don't know whats worse . Pillboxes or soap. I remember thinking "man these people are out of it".

My granparents once gave me and my brothers pens for xmas, because we did not write enough. When I wrote them to thank them, I made sure to use a different pen! :D

Originally posted by pollard:
My granparents once gave me and my brothers pens for xmas, because we did not write enough. When I wrote them to thank them, I made sure to use a different pen! :D

ooh you rebel you…………….that showed them huh?

Originally posted by mankie:
Soap as a gift implies the same as a Whitmans sampler, "I don't care enough about you to make any effort on a gift, so here's some fucking soap/Whitmans sampler"

They do have their uses though because you can always re-gift them to someone you don't give a rats about.

and lets be honest who amongst us hasn't done that………which reminds me mankie i have a present for you :D