Maxim Reviews the Black Crowes Without Actually Hearing

Hey bull930, I thought you only used your RonniStar moniker to report celebrity deaths.

Originally posted by RonniStar:
Wait a minute! I thought rock stars didn't care about what others write about in the press, let alone read it. it annoys me when entertainers aren't immune from the easily offended bug.

Carrie Brownstein took it a step further:

Your Trusted Source for Music Reviews

Bear in Heaven-Red Bloom of the Boom
The latest effort by BIH, RBOTB, is a swirling, dizzying, daring, vertiginous ride. "Bag of Bags" blends angelic harmonies with toast. And "Fraternal Noon" left me wanting a warm sweater that I could then layer over a T-shirt only to be too warm and have to wear just the T-shirt.

Rating: Double Tall Sugar Free Vanilla Latte. Or, Go Bears!

These United States-A Picture Of The Three Of Us At The Gate To The Garden Of Eden.
By the time I finished reading the title the album was already over.

Rating: 2 F**ks and 1.5 Yeahs.

Kaki King-Dreaming Of Revenge
I've been waiting for this CD for 11 years and it finally arrived. "Life Being What It Is" is King at his best, while "Open Mouth" is King even better than he usually is. "Air and Kilometers" is a beautiful song about traveling in a plane in a country that uses the metric system and "Montreal" is about a city in Canada.

Rating: Happy Milkshake.

Wye Oak-If Children
This album is one, long beautiful poem beginning with the line "If Children…..". I don't even need to tell you the rest. It's Whitney Houston's "The Greatest Love Of All" except angrier and totally against mid-wives.

Rating: 7 divided by 3 times 10 plus your sun sign.

The Shins-Honey Poke Shimmy Lantern
James Mercer and crew can do no wrong. They've added the Decemberists, the Thermals, and Spoon to their lineup. Recorded inside a deer carcass, the sounds on Honey Poke are haunting and cervid. These songs will change your life back to the way it was before The Shins changed it the first time. Remember that song "Red Rubber Ball?" It's on this album!

Rating: $800

The White Stripes-Pale Pail
This album was recorded on an abacus.

Rating: Seborrhea

Tift Merrit-Another Country
Tift Merrit sings the book by James Baldwin.

Rating: Really, really fun.

Maxim Says CD Review Was Actually "Preview"

(The Associated Press) Facing more criticism over rating albums without listening to them, Maxim magazine maintains it was previewing CDs in its March issue, not reviewing them, and the mistake was to include star ratings.

Maxim editorial director James Kaminsky told The Associated Press on Wednesday that the magazine had erred in presenting unreleased albums by The Black Crowes and Nas as reviews and judging them with stars.

"I will be the last person to mince words here: This is a mistake, "Kaminsky said. "It's a mistake that won't happen again, but it's not a mistake that appears in other parts of (the magazine's entertainment section). … There should be no blurry line between what's a preview and what's a review."

(…)

As far as the Crowes' reaction to the controversy, Angelus told the AP on Wednesday: "They don't really read musical reviews. But of course they are very aware of this situation, and you know, they think it's highly unethical."

klink

You be the judge on the new Black Crowes album…

http://3voor12.vpro.nl/speler/luisterpaal/39360082