Celebrity Encounters w/?uestlove from The Roots

this is good for a few LOLz. check it out.

http://hypnagogics.com/questo/#Robert-De-Niro

Here's the Bjork story:

BJORK
In response to "BJORK" by Alpine.  13 comments .
she broke my heart in 94.

i was her biggest fan and flipped out when i met her.

meanwhile malik roll up and she starts gushing over him and all he says is….

(days later looking for her number)

damn i lost that oriental bitches number….

And one with Rosario Dawson:

Rosario Dawson.
In response to "Rosario Dawson." by Anfernee.  2 comments .
rosario came to philly to attend my 30th bday celebration.

me, james, vick du and i decided to do dinner at this local southern cuisine spot called Bluezette.

this spot got a lil shine when oprah gave them the "best mac n cheese" award on her show (she has 3 other spots called Deliahs"

so naturally the owner dee saunters up and starts jockin Ro.
and then she looks at me in that Jackee' sorta "euuuh" way.
she's looking at my afro pick.

she decides to go there.

"um mmm…hmmm i dunno….about….that"

–we look confused

she then awkwardly passive aggressively hints:

"uh…..the gentlemen here…don't wear…that"

EXCUSE ME?

"you should remove that thing out of your head"

i walked out of there. never to return.

weeks later the chef saw me in the streets and apologized and told me "she was sorry and didn't know who you were and begged you to come back"

im like dog…that woman had the nerve to come up and embarrass me in front of my date and just think that shit is cool?!?!?"

i waited 8 months to trash delilahs by taking a blind taste food test in the city paper and TRASHING her spot.

and the Wendy Williams piece:

wendy williams
In response to "wendy williams" by Tony Sparks.  2 comments .
wendy is team thought.
besides the rolling stone article (which in was a nice turn more about riq than me), she is one of the few people in the media that makes me invisible (strange considering my 2 degrees to celebrity) and brings tariq to light. we've done about 3 interviews and i think i got nan a question.

i can tell she feels tariq and her heart is with classic hip hop so he is right up her alley. i do know that the soreness of the "kanye scenario" started when Ye declared himself the best dressed in hip hop. Wendy's response was "you dont dress better than black thought of the roots, his shoes kill everyone in the game" now the next statement is up for grabs for i didn't hear the statement straight from the radio and im mature enough to ignore rumors but of course everyone that week was on some "Ye dissed riq on wendy williams! said his clothes look like they were copped from the thrift store!"—which is kinda like if someone is accused of a crime…even if it wasn't committed (i mean he could have said it as a joke….he could have not said it at all….but 100 people came calling like that day talking shit so…)—that set riq off in a bad way considering his Barney's game has been in effect since 1998. with pretty much the entire crew coming at him on some "damn where did you cop this from?" (ye included) riq has made a gazzillion connects in the fashion world and for some reason he gets up on shit first. he was up on evisu, red monkey, ….shit he had the nike connects first before me…—

well i just know that wendy got a lil jones for riq geez and still defends him to the death.

That page is actually quite awesome.

his (?uestlove's, obviously!) writing style (which can vary from person to person although common educational standards often creates similarities) is kinda (in that drop-in-a-bucket kinda way, not that the bucket nor its content needs to be specified at this time) hard to follow sometimes (like that one time i got caught awww whatever nevermind).

some of it is hard to follow but most of it you can get. dude is pretty hilarious though with th encounters. my fav. one is the Tracy Morgan story.

Tracy Morgan
In response to "Tracy Morgan" by KnowOne.  2 comments .
man. me and trace must have the same cravings
in late night 3 to 6am food spots
cause i swear if its a restaurant in ny/la he is
ALWAYS there and he is ALWAYS in trace mode.


"eh! quuostLUOVE you know what idea would be hot?!
stand up with they drums!!!!!!!!!!! an' and and you can
play um um….oh yeah you can play "BABY HOLD ON TO ME!"
and whatz that other song? "oh yeah MR ROBOTO!!" see
im in tuned to my white fan base cause they loove all that
80s shit!!!"

but i'll say the first time we met trace was hands down the shit we
STILL talk about to this day.

he and i were next door neighbors in a denver hotel.
he was doing stand up and we were at the filmore.
so post show time and ill say the girls gone wild factor in
his hotel room was like 14 on a 1-10 scale.
now mind you this was before 30 rock and his spot i always listen to
on g unit radio—so he was still post snl material to me.

his shirt was off and INSTANTLY i knew i had to get out.
i love my honor even more than i love my girl and i knew
once his shirt was coming off then so were theirs.
sure enough im in a room with a bunch of jaw dropped roots
14 ready to get on their knees GGW and a budah stomached lunatic
who is trying to find bobby brown's
"tenderoni" on his ipod.

i was like "i gotta go"

but through the wall last night it sounded like karaoke hell.
i heard "billie jean" "i keep forgetting" "night fever" "sister christian"

so i asked the cats in the van the next day what was going on.

them mofos looked like "TMI" was tattooed on their foreheads.

so funny cause all they described wound up being his standup routine stuff some 2-3 years later.

"yeah it was so weird cause its like….he was yelling "ok roots….we gonna have a toe liking contest!….y'all bitches better not have fungus on your feet cause i know yall like that natural in the wilderness walk in a broken glass infested crack alley barefoot shit!"

i was like "word?!?!!? what else?!?!?!?!"

yeah then he was like "well yall can have them (points to the remaining girls) i likes my white girls with ball park frank plump on they skin. i suck underarms and inner elbows!"
its a waste for a white girl to be that skinny unless she is in junior high! white girls with backfat are my weakness!"

i was laughing so hard! what else?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!


"man….he just kept saying "i wanna leave my legacy in colorado! yall fathers and great great grandads would roll in their grave if they saw this scenario….i wanna impregnate 4 of yall on a minimum!…..eh somebody but "billie jean " on!!!!"

i mean the next 4 days was nothing but tracey morgan one liners onstage. we just thought that was a drunken/drugged up day. but that mofo is like that ALL the time when i see him.

sweetcell wrote:
his (?uestlove's, obviously!) writing style (which can vary from person to person although common educational standards often creates similarities) is kinda (in that drop-in-a-bucket kinda way, not that the bucket nor its content needs to be specified at this time) hard to follow sometimes (like that one time i got caught awww whatever nevermind).

Ha(ha)!!!!

sweetcell wrote:
his (?uestlove's, obviously!) writing style (which can vary from person to person although common educational standards often creates similarities) is kinda (in that drop-in-a-bucket kinda way, not that the bucket nor its content needs to be specified at this time) hard to follow sometimes (like that one time i got caught awww whatever nevermind).

Nice work. I started to make a similar joke but it became so frustrating, even to mimic, that it gave me a headache.

?uestlove is awesome. The depth of his music knowledge never fails to blow me away. His writing style is…unique. In good and bad ways. But I have nothing but the utmost respect for the guy.

That and the Roots are the best live show I've ever seen.

I love the De Niro story  ;D

Lilly Allen is a good one too

gaaaaaaaaah wrote:
?uestlove is awesome. The depth of his music knowledge never fails to blow me away. His writing style is…unique. In good and bad ways. But I have nothing but the utmost respect for the guy.

That and the Roots are the best live show I've ever seen.

His talent and prsonality combined has gotten some of the craziest respect in the industry. Its perfect for someone like him to have all these stories. Even if the writing is a little, eh……"unique" in his own way.