Metallica / Lou Reed

I think we've discussed this elsewhere, sorry.

Don't plan on listening to the album, obviously, but this Chuck Klosterman review is fantastic

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7146312/lou-reed-metallica-album

If we still lived in the radio prison of 1992, do you think Metallica would purposefully release an album that no one wants? No way. Cliff Burnstein from Q Prime Management would listen to their various ideas, stroke his white beard, and deliver the following 45-second pep talk: "OK, great. Love these concepts. Your allusion to Basquiat's middle period was very apt, Lars. Incisive! But here's our situation. If you guys spend two months writing superfast Diamond Head songs about nuclear winter and shape-shifting, we can earn $752 million in 18 months, plus merchandizing. That's option A. The alternative is that you can make a ponderous, quasi-ironic art record about 'the lexicon of hate' that will outrage the Village Voice and mildly impress Laurie Anderson. Your call." Ten minutes later, Bob Rock would be parking his Lexus at the studio.

"It will be legally purchased by the 13,404 Metallica completists who saw Some Kind of Monster on opening weekend, unless the album is exclusively sold at Walmart, in which case it will enter the Billboard charts at no. 2."

It's eminently quotable.

"If the Red Hot Chili Peppers acoustically covered the 12 worst Primus songs for Starbucks, it would still be (slightly) better than this."

Ouch.

Great read and selection of quotes.

Is commercial radio playing any of this?  I've heard The View a couple of times while flipping thru channels on Sirius.  That is some God-Awful music.

thats an awesome review!

StoneTheCrow wrote:
Great read and selection of quotes.

Is commercial radio playing any of this?  I've heard The View a couple of times while flipping thru channels on Sirius.  That is some God-Awful music.

Doesn't commercial rock radio still just play 90s post-grunge stuff like Bush and Foo Fighters?

Based on that review I imagine the album being something like the review

Everything I read about this album makes me love it more and more.

Bombay wrote:
Everything I read about this album makes me love it more and more.

I have to admit I find myself a little fascinated with the concept as well.  Especially when I read over-the-top stuff like:
The album is ?a set of wrenching, astonishingly profane songs inspired by two century-old German plays.?


And I am so happy that Lars Ulrich did not disappoint me in his interview with the NY Times.  Somehow I just knew that - at some point - he would drop that most hackneyed and trite description of the artistic process:

?It was cathartic," Mr. Ulrich said.

where's the Brian review of the album? I bet it will be positive.

Bombay wrote:
Everything I read about this album makes me love it more and more.

EW via Metacritic: "The bulk of Lulu sounds like your dad's drunk friend reciting his self-penned erotica over a melting ReLoad cassette."

Lulu is the lost soundtrack to Battlefield Earth

Vas wrote:
where's the Brian review of the album? I bet it will be positive.

baited breath… i'm wondering how he would reconcile his hate for Grantland / Klosterman and dad rock.

maybe he finally had that breakdown some here have hoped for.  he should have been posting while it                  happened . . . that would have been cool.

I heard he has been camping out at Montgomery Mall in hopes of sparking an Occupy Hot Topic movement to rail against the corrupt capitalist commoditization of skinny jeans, chain wallets, and arm warmers.

on a vaguely serious note, walalce does appear to have checked out.  he hasn't changed his fantasy football lineup in at least a week and a half, his lineup this past week had players on their bye week while his bench had solid active players.  he hasn't posted here in a good while.

i bet Papa Wallace took away the 'puter.

I ordered hits on Wallace, Gallagher and Walkie.

Back on topic:
http://www.avclub.com/articles/cat-says-nononono-to-loutallica,64394/

sweetcell wrote:
on a vaguely serious note, walalce does appear to have checked out.  he hasn't changed his fantasy football lineup in at least a week and a half, his lineup this past week had players on their bye week while his bench had solid active players.  he hasn't posted here in a good while.

i bet Papa Wallace took away the 'puter.

That's bullshit.  "Solid active players."  Of the 16 roster spots, I had 6 players on a bye and 5 that were out (Johnson, Ward, Williams, Best and Bradford.)  Leaving me four players and a team defense that actually participated in football games on Sunday.  I could drop, add, pick up from waivers, etc. but that's chasing the dragon.  Once the byes are over and some players get healthier I could be competitive.  I'm not making excuses. I made poor selections.

I haven't heard "Lulu" yet but if Klosterman hates it that much, it must be good.  I mean, he LOVED "Chinese Democracy."  The enemy of my enemy is my friend.  Plus, just like everything else he does, it's not CRITICISM.  What he writes doesn't offer insight.  He just writes to make "witty" observations and reinforce others (his "base") that wasting your life on pop culture isn't a total mistake.  He's like Rodney Dangerfield:  "Hey, let me tell ya!  Metallica!  No respect!  Their new album's so bad, Lars Ulrich is suing his fans just to make them listen to it!  I gotta tell ya!"

Whenever I read Chuck Klosterman (which I avoid like the plague) I'm reminded of Capote's comments on Kerouac: "That's not writing.  It's typing."

Brian

Brian_Wallace wrote:
That's bullshit.  "Solid active players."  Of the 16 roster spots, I had 6 players on a bye and 5 that were out (Johnson, Ward, Williams, Best and Bradford.)  Leaving me four players and a team defense that actually participated in football games on Sunday.   

i stand corrected.  when i last checked i guess they hadn't scratched the injured players (they still had projected points, etc), so i thought you had more options.  effen hell, your squad is decimated by injuries.  rough going…

Brian_Wallace wrote:
I'm not making excuses. I made poor selections.

don't blame yourself for everything, injuries can't be predicted.

Brian_Wallace wrote:
Plus, just like everything else he does, it's not CRITICISM.  What he writes doesn't offer insight.  He just writes to make "witty" observations and reinforce others (his "base") that wasting your life on pop culture isn't a total mistake.  He's like Rodney Dangerfield:  "Hey, let me tell ya!  Metallica!  No respect!  Their new album's so bad, Lars Ulrich is suing his fans just to make them listen to it!   I gotta tell ya!"

Whenever I read Chuck Klosterman (which I avoid like the plague) I'm reminded of Capote's comments on Kerouac: "That's not writing.  It's typing."

Brian

is it just me, or is the irony piling up in here?  ;D