Northern Virginia

Originally posted by ggwâ?¢:

Originally posted by jakez468:
as a 19 year-old from maryland, ive noticed kids from VA are generally uglier than those from md.

Those are just the ones we export to the crappy colleges in Maryland.

If UMD beats Duke, will you all hang out in your baseball caps, burning your furniture in the middle of the street?

That is a good point. One has to take into account the abysmal state university system in MD. VA's, on the other hand, is top notch. I guess that may be getting ahead of things for the "Miller's", though…

Originally posted by jakez468:
as a 19 year-old from maryland, ive noticed kids from VA are generally uglier than those from md. i think alot of ppl could give two shits about VA or Northern VA. it may make a difference to you if you live in VA, but otherwise im not sure anybody cares. that lists comes off pretty arrogant and redundant too. ANYBODY HAVE AN EXTRA TICKET FOR DUKE???

LOLOLOLOL!!!! Oh, shit. I've never noticed that. Makes me wonder what your concept of beauty is.

Does Virginia let blacks in it's colleges?

Do they still let girls in that tinpot solder school thingie they have?

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition dolls for the Northern Virginia market:

McLean Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at Neiman's in Tysons II. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie- cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Falls Church Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately.

Manassas Barbie
This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Great Falls Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Woodbridge Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Sterling Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the McMansion. Percocet prescription available.

Leesburg Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Fontana Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also
available with a mobile home.

North Arlington Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two North Arlington Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

South Arlington Barbie
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for South Arlington Barbie or Ken.

Originally posted by ggwâ?¢:
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition dolls for the Northern Virginia market:

McLean Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at Neiman's in Tysons II. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie- cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Falls Church Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately.

Manassas Barbie
This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Great Falls Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Woodbridge Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Sterling Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the McMansion. Percocet prescription available.

Leesburg Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Fontana Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter top. Also
available with a mobile home.

North Arlington Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two North Arlington Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

South Arlington Barbie
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for South Arlington Barbie or Ken.

Hillarious.

Somebody hasn't been out to Leesburg in about 20 years. It would be now be the same as Sterling.

The Leesburg description should now be Front Royal.

Barbieland grows ya know!

hey, i'm from north arlington and i most certainly do not want to be called willow! nor am i a subaru driving lesbian. too bad i know about 9 million of the McLean/Great Falls variety. Blehg

Originally posted by i do not heart winter:
hey, i'm from north arlington and i most certainly do not want to be called willow! nor am i a subaru driving lesbian. too bad i know about 9 million of the McLean/Great Falls variety. Blehg

Oh……there's a special edition collector barbie…"Paige Barbie" it's extremely expensive and even more expensive once you own it. You have to send it off to the Bahama's every now and again so it can have a break from it's very stressful life of sitting on it's pedestal. It does come with the "Ken Walkie Doll" though that has special joints in it's knees so you can bend it down and shove it's nose right up Paige Barbies arse.

Originally posted by mankie:
Oh……there's a special edition collector barbie…"Paige Barbie" it's extremely expensive and even more expensive once you own it. You have to send it off to the Bahama's every now and again so it can have a break from it's very stressful life of sitting on it's pedestal. It does come with the "Ken Walkie Doll" though that has special joints in it's knees so you can bend it down and shove it's nose right up Paige Barbies arse.

Aww thanks Mankie, i feel so honored that i would have a Barbie made in my namesake! :roll: :roll:

Do you want me to even get started on the "Mankie Ken Doll"? he comes equipped with all kinds of 'grooming products' and leather pants of every color imaginable…..

Originally posted by i do not heart winter:

Originally posted by mankie:
Oh……there's a special edition collector barbie…"Paige Barbie" it's extremely expensive and even more expensive once you own it. You have to send it off to the Bahama's every now and again so it can have a break from it's very stressful life of sitting on it's pedestal. It does come with the "Ken Walkie Doll" though that has special joints in it's knees so you can bend it down and shove it's nose right up Paige Barbies arse.

Aww thanks Mankie, i feel so honored that i would have a Barbie made in my namesake! :roll: :roll:

Do you want me to even get started on the "Mankie Ken Doll"? he comes equipped with all kinds of 'grooming products' and leather pants of every color imaginable…..

As long as I get royalties you can do what the hell you want.

You two need to get a room. Maybe invite Mank's wife along too.

Mankie in leather pants…now there's a sight I'm glad I'll never see.

Originally posted by mankie:
As long as I get royalties you can do what the hell you want.

hmmmm..i like the sound of that. i can't wait for everyone to see "KenMank" in his new rhinestone pants with matching vest!!!

Originally posted by Mr. Unctuous:
You two need to get a room. Maybe invite Mank's wife along too.

Delete paige - add Celeste! :p

Originally posted by mankie:

Originally posted by Mr. Unctuous:
You two need to get a room. Maybe invite Mank's wife along too.

Delete paige - add Celeste! :p

ouch! oh well, not like i'd want to be in a room alone with you anyway. ughhhhhh.

Originally posted by i do not heart winter:

Originally posted by mankie:

Originally posted by Mr. Unctuous:
You two need to get a room. Maybe invite Mank's wife along too.

Delete paige - add Celeste! :p

ouch! oh well, not like i'd want to be in a room alone with you anyway. ughhhhhh.

It wasn't going to be just the two of us, my wife was going to be there evidently!

i sent this list to a friend…he replied with:


You forgot Ashburn Barbie
This housewife Barbie comes with a cell phone, choice of Chevy Suburban XL or Ford Excursion with standard IXOYE on right rear bumper and EXTRA LARGE American Flag on Left Rear Window ( to show how much more patriotriotic this promise keeping family is) - Large Soccer ball is optional, McDonalds Happy Meals for Dinnertime for the FUBU clad Ken Jr and abercrombie hoochie clad preteen Skipper. This cutting edge Barbie also comes dressed in Aerobics attire or Jogging outfit, and has a PDA w/ direct link to 'The Jones' purchase list so she is never too far behind. Matching Jogging suit for Gov't Contractor Ken available.