To the Jew crew here. betty is the only one i think of off-hand. anyway if theres already a thread on this i apologize, but im running from work and havent read this for a bit now.
dont drink too much :)
dont drink too much :)
Happy Passover..
thanks mate!
oh, you better believe we'll all be rolling on the floors filled with kosher wine by the end of the night singing passover songs. there are 16 jews coming into my house this evening to whine their way through the hagaddah. the only way to get through one of my dad's sedars half alive is by being true to the bottle.
Jim Graham better not come to my house, though. he might evict us…
oh, you better believe we'll all be rolling on the floors filled with kosher wine by the end of the night singing passover songs. there are 16 jews coming into my house this evening to whine their way through the hagaddah. the only way to get through one of my dad's sedars half alive is by being true to the bottle.
Jim Graham better not come to my house, though. he might evict us…
Is that why I'm the only person in my office today?
i don't think so…it doesn't start for another couple of hours.
unless people are home cooking like i am :p
unless people are home cooking like i am :p
Originally posted by you be betty:ahhh, i can already tell you'll be a fine wife.
unless people are home cooking like i am
you bet. i'm going to be a trophy fucking wife. i like frilly aprons and am a damn good cook.
Originally posted by you be betty:you fuck trophies? or are you implying this is something you'll do only after you get married? either way, i think that's WEIRD… but whatever makes you happy, go for it!
you bet. i'm going to be a trophy fucking wife.
Originally posted by you be betty:Watch out Betty, once it's expected of you from those kinds of guys, your tune will change FAST! In fact, you strike me as the type who will be very good at cracking the whip on them. You'll just know how to instruct them how to do it right. ;)
you bet. i'm going to be a trophy fucking wife. i like frilly aprons and am a damn good cook.
Get through college before you say such things Betty.
Originally posted by you be betty:
you bet. i'm going to be a trophy fucking wife. i like frilly aprons and am a damn good cook.
yeah, yeah. i'm going to be the best wife ever. and the best mommy ever. and oh, i'm going to make lots of money, too.
it'll be grand.
it'll be grand.
Originally posted by you be betty:That expectation of our women is a social myth that rarely ever comes in one package since one usually detracts from the other. Pick a priority and, hopefully, you will find a good husband who agrees with and supports that choice. If you can find a way to work them all out, than more power to you! Just don't set yourself up to expect it all.
yeah, yeah. i'm going to be the best wife ever. and the best mommy ever. and oh, i'm going to make lots of money, too.
it'll be grand.
Did anyone find the afikomen yet?
I'm hiding an afikomen, btw.
I'm hiding an afikomen, btw.
Originally posted by Jaguar:Jaguar, stop crushing the starry-eyed aspirations of the nation's youth. ;)
Just don't set yourself up to expect it all.
Originally posted by you be betty:sounds like a good time. the place i was at had 27 people. it took us 3 hours to get through the first part of the hagaddah. the 'kids' table (which was all people not nearly kids, was pretty drunk and the conversation was out of control.) somehow the word praying, turned into being on hands and knees - and yes you can fill in the blanks. ive never seen so much wine (and relatively good for kosher for passover wine) drank in just a few hours.
thanks mate!
oh, you better believe we'll all be rolling on the floors filled with kosher wine by the end of the night singing passover songs. there are 16 jews coming into my house this evening to whine their way through the hagaddah. the only way to get through one of my dad's sedars half alive is by being true to the bottle.
Jim Graham better not come to my house, though. he might evict us…
i was the mostly sober one since i had to drive, and im sure still had too much. well i did stop after a glass and a half as i figured id be doomed if i kept going. didnt even stay for the second half of the reading. that continued around midnight. good fun! hope yours was as eventful.
and hell - dont strive to be a trophy wife. do what the wife did for this passover - and hire people to cater the dinner. granted with 27 of us (and for 2 nights) thats more than a bit insane.
ok im dead tired and have to go to sleep. i didnt even buy matzah this year! bad jew :)
I hid the afikomen down the front of my pants. Any good looking Jew girls, and by good looking I mean in the same league as Ellen Barkin & Gina Gershon, are welcome to come over to my place and fish for it.
So a few years ago I was at a now-defunct club and this extraordinarily cute, hot girl was all over me, I mean literally, hands everywhere. I bought her a drink and we were dancing and it seemed like it could only keep getting better until she said "so let me guess, you must be Səp'arədîm?" And I was like "huh?" And then I realized what she was saying and so I said "well actually I'm not Jewish." And after that she was noticeably cooler. I kinda wished I'd just gone along….
Originally posted by They call me Doctor Doom.:Obviously you weren't Kosher enough. Isn't this type of snub a sub-variant of racism? You weren't chosen/kosher, so you were shown the exit.
So a few years ago I was at a now-defunct club and this extraordinarily cute, hot girl was all over me, I mean literally, hands everywhere. I bought her a drink and we were dancing and it seemed like it could only keep getting better until she said "so let me guess, you must be Səp'arədîm?" And I was like "huh?" And then I realized what she was saying and so I said "well actually I'm not Jewish." And after that she was noticeably cooler. I kinda wished I'd just gone along….
HAH
my sedar was…eventful. my dad's sedars always go till, like, 2am…it took us about three hours as well to get through the first half of the hagaddah 'cause he insists on reading everything in hebrew and english.
usually at our sedars, everyone is pleasantly trashed, singing along, banging on the tables, etc. we only had 16 this year which was about 10 less than our usual crowd. and none of my friends out of the families invited (all my brother's friends) were there because they are all at college. even though i love his friends.
i sat at the other end of the table with my mom and aunt and my mom's friend who is an art curator (she has three sons - one little kid, one who was away at college, and another who was present, who is a year older than me, very awkward, and a huuuuuuge dealer).
enter drama. by the eway i am slightly hung over right now so pardon if this makes no sense.
so we were all nice and pleasantly talking about art and art schools and whatnot and my pretty cool cousin asked to see some of my photography, so i brought down one of my portfolios. she looked at it with my uncle and they oohed and aahed, so then they passed it over to the art curator and her pothead/X-head son.
some of the pictures in that portfolio feature a model who had cut herself very vigarously the night before the shoot. but it was a fashion shoot - you are looking for the clothes and not the model. and i did not edit them out because it would have been untrue to the situation, and because every other mature adult who sees my photos may react, but they understand they are looking into someone elses soul, and they don't say anything rude or judgemental. until last night.
so she gets through about half the portfolio and is all smiles and compliments and then gets to the first photo with that particular model and flips the fuck out. and starts yelling "What is all this? What is this?" and is making horizontal movements towards her arm…another 10 people look over and I just ignore them…and i don't really know what to say, so i just say "i know, it was bad, but it was the model's problem - she just showed up to the shoot that way and i didn't edit it out because i didn't want to be untrue to the situation…" etc etc. she looked so disgusted, and she kept saying "no! i think you might want to put something over this! because you know, people are going to…!!!!!!!"
THEN HER druggie son, who knew who this model was, as we all attend school together, had the nerve to pipe in with "Most of those kids just do it for attention, because they like the attention."
(and i was already on two glasses of wine and an all-day empty stomach and it took all the energy i have never.ever. been able to muster in my entire body not to yell "YOU SHOULD TALK? YOU DEAL DRUGS!!" but some sort of passover miracle saved my ass)
…then she flips to the next page and there are more. so she yells "god, you NEED to LOOK AT THIS!!" to her husband who is sitting kind of diagonally at the head of the table, next to my dad. mind you, her, like, six year old poor little son is also sitting next to her wondering what the hell is going on.
and she's all frantic, "look at this! look!" and her husband is noticing and
MY DAD, who was with me when the prints were made and didn't notice - who is completely oblivious to everything ever, goes (dead.seriously) "oh! what is it, tefillin?"
(and for those of you non jewish folk, tefillin are these leather straps that you wrap around your arm…)
and she's all "NO! CUTTING! it's like…it's like an eating disorder! it's like anorexia or bulimia! some people do it because for some sick reason it makes them feel better!"
and i kept trying to interject, but they kept going, and my dad still didn't know what was going on which was kind of funny (his next guess, after she had explained what cutting was, was "OH! it's a design?"), but i was really really fucking irritated and before i punched someone i just kind of yelled above all of them that it was "Someone else's problem, it has been dealt with, and it is their business. it is none of your business. it does not concern anyone at this table."
they shut up. and then i kind of got up and left for a little bit…
it felt like i had been raped…the woman reacted like an eight year old and it was the most obnoxious thing i had never expected from her.
we didn't really mention it for the rest of the night and everything was nice on the surface. i don't think she acknowledged what a sin she had committed.
anyway, the evening wound down when half the crowd left at 11 because they knew my dad would go in till 2am, and consequently after the fourth cup, amidst table-banging, my father blindly knocked HIS wine over onto the really nice carpet and, more importantly, a $300 pair of marc jacobs flats. which i then salvaged. thank god.
he admitted later "…Guys, I can't even walk a straight line!!"
so tonight we go to the art curator's house for seder. and my dear friend is going to be there. hopefully the ultra-smashed power of the both of us can be strong enough to not bring up the drug trafficking situation. wish me luck!
my sedar was…eventful. my dad's sedars always go till, like, 2am…it took us about three hours as well to get through the first half of the hagaddah 'cause he insists on reading everything in hebrew and english.
usually at our sedars, everyone is pleasantly trashed, singing along, banging on the tables, etc. we only had 16 this year which was about 10 less than our usual crowd. and none of my friends out of the families invited (all my brother's friends) were there because they are all at college. even though i love his friends.
i sat at the other end of the table with my mom and aunt and my mom's friend who is an art curator (she has three sons - one little kid, one who was away at college, and another who was present, who is a year older than me, very awkward, and a huuuuuuge dealer).
enter drama. by the eway i am slightly hung over right now so pardon if this makes no sense.
so we were all nice and pleasantly talking about art and art schools and whatnot and my pretty cool cousin asked to see some of my photography, so i brought down one of my portfolios. she looked at it with my uncle and they oohed and aahed, so then they passed it over to the art curator and her pothead/X-head son.
some of the pictures in that portfolio feature a model who had cut herself very vigarously the night before the shoot. but it was a fashion shoot - you are looking for the clothes and not the model. and i did not edit them out because it would have been untrue to the situation, and because every other mature adult who sees my photos may react, but they understand they are looking into someone elses soul, and they don't say anything rude or judgemental. until last night.
so she gets through about half the portfolio and is all smiles and compliments and then gets to the first photo with that particular model and flips the fuck out. and starts yelling "What is all this? What is this?" and is making horizontal movements towards her arm…another 10 people look over and I just ignore them…and i don't really know what to say, so i just say "i know, it was bad, but it was the model's problem - she just showed up to the shoot that way and i didn't edit it out because i didn't want to be untrue to the situation…" etc etc. she looked so disgusted, and she kept saying "no! i think you might want to put something over this! because you know, people are going to…!!!!!!!"
THEN HER druggie son, who knew who this model was, as we all attend school together, had the nerve to pipe in with "Most of those kids just do it for attention, because they like the attention."
(and i was already on two glasses of wine and an all-day empty stomach and it took all the energy i have never.ever. been able to muster in my entire body not to yell "YOU SHOULD TALK? YOU DEAL DRUGS!!" but some sort of passover miracle saved my ass)
…then she flips to the next page and there are more. so she yells "god, you NEED to LOOK AT THIS!!" to her husband who is sitting kind of diagonally at the head of the table, next to my dad. mind you, her, like, six year old poor little son is also sitting next to her wondering what the hell is going on.
and she's all frantic, "look at this! look!" and her husband is noticing and
MY DAD, who was with me when the prints were made and didn't notice - who is completely oblivious to everything ever, goes (dead.seriously) "oh! what is it, tefillin?"
(and for those of you non jewish folk, tefillin are these leather straps that you wrap around your arm…)
and she's all "NO! CUTTING! it's like…it's like an eating disorder! it's like anorexia or bulimia! some people do it because for some sick reason it makes them feel better!"
and i kept trying to interject, but they kept going, and my dad still didn't know what was going on which was kind of funny (his next guess, after she had explained what cutting was, was "OH! it's a design?"), but i was really really fucking irritated and before i punched someone i just kind of yelled above all of them that it was "Someone else's problem, it has been dealt with, and it is their business. it is none of your business. it does not concern anyone at this table."
they shut up. and then i kind of got up and left for a little bit…
it felt like i had been raped…the woman reacted like an eight year old and it was the most obnoxious thing i had never expected from her.
we didn't really mention it for the rest of the night and everything was nice on the surface. i don't think she acknowledged what a sin she had committed.
anyway, the evening wound down when half the crowd left at 11 because they knew my dad would go in till 2am, and consequently after the fourth cup, amidst table-banging, my father blindly knocked HIS wine over onto the really nice carpet and, more importantly, a $300 pair of marc jacobs flats. which i then salvaged. thank god.
he admitted later "…Guys, I can't even walk a straight line!!"
so tonight we go to the art curator's house for seder. and my dear friend is going to be there. hopefully the ultra-smashed power of the both of us can be strong enough to not bring up the drug trafficking situation. wish me luck!
Originally posted by Dupek Chakra:I wasn't shown the exit, I just wasn't shown the entrance. ;)
Obviously you weren't Kosher enough. Isn't this type of snub a sub-variant of racism? You weren't chosen/kosher, so you were shown the exit.
Anyway, it's very common for people to look for people of their own religious affiliation, race, or what-have-you when sizing up someone for a relationship. That's not racism, it's just an effort to establish compatibility. The only reason I was a little surprised is that such selectiveness is less common for simple barroom hookups…
It would've been different if she was interviewing me for a job…
Originally posted by Dupek Chakra:Look on the bright side…bitch probably didn't put 'pork' in her mouth anyway!!! ;)
Originally posted by They call me Doctor Doom.:Obviously you weren't Kosher enough. Isn't this type of snub a sub-variant of racism? You weren't chosen/kosher, so you were shown the exit.
So a few years ago I was at a now-defunct club and this extraordinarily cute, hot girl was all over me, I mean literally, hands everywhere. I bought her a drink and we were dancing and it seemed like it could only keep getting better until she said "so let me guess, you must be Səp'arədîm?" And I was like "huh?" And then I realized what she was saying and so I said "well actually I'm not Jewish." And after that she was noticeably cooler. I kinda wished I'd just gone along….
Then there's the constant whining about how you pay retail for everything…….