getting married too young?

didn't want to clog up JA with this:

Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:

Originally posted by RustyOrgan:
Dude - Because she's 19??

I see absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever with a 19 year old getting married.

she has the legal right to do so, but i certainly feel it isn't advisable. i don't believe that 19 year olds have the maturity or the foresight required to make that kind of a life-long decision. i believe this to be especially true of men - no man should even consider marriage before age 25.

i'm sure there are stats out there that demonstrate that there is a positive correlation between young age at marriage and divorce rates.

maybe your point was that we shouldn't judge other people's decisions?

In light of the announcement that Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter Bristol is pregnant and intends to marry her 18-year-old boyfriend Levi Johnston, the New York Times has taken a look at the declining popularity (and success) of teenage marriage.

The median marrying age for women in the late 1950s was about 19, according to David Popenoe, co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University and an emeritus professor of sociology there. But a marriage between 19-year-olds – or even 17- or 18-year-olds – then would not have been described as a "teenage marriage," he said. It was too routine to be given a special label.

….Studies show that today teenage marriages are two to three times more likely to end in divorce than are marriages between people 25 years of age and older. The most comprehensive study on marriage and age that sociologists cite was published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2001, from 1995 data, and it found that 48 percent of those who marry before 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years, compared with 24 percent of those who marry after age 25.

thanks for the stats, charles.

a study on marriage by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention - how funny. is marriage catching?!? :D

that being said, i've recently become engaged… w00t.

You done too much much too young
You're married with a kid when you could be having fun with me
You done too much much too young
Now you're married with a son when you should be having fun with me

Don't wanna be rich, don't wanna be famous

Ain't he cute, no he ain't
He's just another burden on the welfare state

Call me immature, call me a poseur
I'll to spread manure in your bed of roses
Don't we wanna be rich Don't we wanna be famous
But I'd really hate to have the same name as you

You done too much much too young
Now you're chained to the kitchen making currant buns for tea

Ain't you heard of the starving millions
Ain't you heard of conraception
Do you really wanna go with the sterilization
Take control of the population boom
It's in your living room
Keep a generation gap
Try wearing a cap

I have a live-in girlfriend who's 20. I'd presume in the liberal hotbed of 930.com, no one has a problem with that. I greatly doubt anyone on here has a problem with 18-21 year olds having romantic relationships and so forth.

So, I guess from my perspective, if she can live with me, why should we live without the legal protection of marriage? If we break up, there's all sorts of legal issues that would come up: who gets the apartment, how are bills split, what if we have a joint checking account, etc etc. The US legal system isn't equipped to divvy up credit card bills or the like from people who are playing house, so if we were married and the relationship ended, we'd be alot better off if we were married.

I'm certainly I am not advocating every two people who are shacking up getting married and I'm not saying divorce is awesome, but I don't think being married and getting divorced is any worse then two people co-habituating and then breaking up. It's a semantic difference, but if you're married, both parties have their interests protected.

Again, I'm not saying everyone should make the same decision, but I can say with a certainty if we're still together 4-6 months down the road, an engagement is definitely in the works. She's a mature, intelligent adult who's well-grounded and I've known for like 6 years. I see absolutely no problem with her getting married and I don't think such an arrangement is any more doomed to failure then two 25-year-olds who drink Colt 45 and wear Abercrombie and Fitch.

And congrats on your engagement, Sweets! You'll have to link me to your registry when you get one! :)

You chase in the rat-race
And you always feel so hollow
You marry because it's expected of you
And it only makes you feel more lonely

But still you look down on the teenage dad on
On his estate
He's happy so leave him alone
With his baby
And his modest home
He's happy so leave him alone
With his Jensen Interceptor
It's just a runaround

You defer to the views of the television news
Let someone do your thinking for you
And you still buy a daily newspaper
And you find everything there but the news

And still you look down on the teenage dad on
On his estate
He's happy so leave him alone
With his baby
And his modest home
He's happy so leave him alone
With his Jensen Interceptor
It's just a runaround

You become your parents' parent
And you love them
But you can't help feeling used
And you hate the teenage dad on his estate
Because he's poor but he's happier than you
They're all laughing at you
You're a dipper, a slider, cart-horse provider
Nobody cares about you
Just as long as you're out there bringing it in
Despising the grin on the face of the boy
With the methadone
With his methadone
He's happy so leave him alone
With his methadone
He's happy so leave him alone

Originally posted by sweetcell:
that being said, i've recently become engaged… w00t.

Congratulations!

Originally posted by Bombay Chutney:

Originally posted by sweetcell:
that being said, i've recently become engaged… w00t.

Congratulations!

Hold on….Does Samantha know anything about this?

On a more serious note, congratulations! But do be careful because if you cross the line, Big Sister Samantha will whoop your ass. :D

Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
I have a live-in girlfriend who's 20.

Pervert! :D

Sweetcell: congrats!!!

You and yer Specials and Morrissey. Well, here's some Carly Simon, bitches!

My father sits at night with no lights on
His cigarette glows in the dark.
The living room is still;
I walk by, no remark.
I tiptoe past the master bedroom where
My mother reads her magazines.
I hear her call sweet dreams,
But I forgot how to dream.

But you say it's time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me -
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we'll marry.

My friends from college they're all married now;
They have their houses and their lawns.
They have their silent noons,
Tearful nights, angry dawns.
Their children hate them for the things they're not;
They hate themselves for what they are-
And yet they drink, they laugh,
Close the wound, hide the scar.

But you say it's time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me -
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we'll marry.

You say we can keep our love alive
Babe - all I know is what I see -
The couples cling and claw
And drown in love's debris.
You say we'll soar like two birds through the clouds,
But soon you'll cage me on your shelf -
I'll never learn to be just me first
By myself.

Well O.K., it's time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me -
Well, that's the way I've always heard it should be,
You want to marry me, we'll marry,
We'll marry.

My younger brother married his first girlfriend when he was 21 and she was 19 or 20. No shotguns needed and still strong after 21 years.

Originally posted by Jaguar:

Originally posted by Bombay Chutney:

Originally posted by sweetcell:
that being said, i've recently become engaged… w00t.

Congratulations!

Hold on….Does Samantha know anything about this?

actually, i was hoping to keep this news on the down low… i'm not married yet… <runs away>

:D

The general rule is men should avoid getting married as long as possible.

A lot of the benefits or protection Julian mentions- in many places including DC- can be had through a domestic partnership.

My mom got married when she was 19…look where it got her!!! Have a life of your own before you have to share every piece of it with someone else, at least that's what I say. To each is (or her) own though.

I waited til I was 29. Glad to say 8 years later still happy and going strong.

All that said, congrats to all you young lovebirds out there!

Also, from what I have seen - and I think there is some empirical proof of this- women tend to be happier and do better when they wait to get married and focus on themselves and their own careers etc.

Obviously its a case by case thing…There are no absolutes in life.. but I'm seeing many friends who got married a few years ago when it was felt it was "time" now getting divorces and it can be very painful..particularly when kids are involved

Originally posted by hutch:
A lot of the benefits or protection Julian mentions- in many places including DC- can be had through a domestic partnership.

Homosexual domestic partnership has devalued domestic partnership. Adam + Eve not Adam + Steve, son.

im 30 and got engaged last night. usa.

Originally posted by They call me Doctor Doom.:

Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
I have a live-in girlfriend who's 20.

Pervert! :D

Sweetcell: congrats!!!

Nice, you can go out to the bar and hook up and she has to stay home!!!

On the subject of marraige - I got married for the first time at 25….in hindsight my advice would be to not get married till you're in your 30's. Women can and do have children much older these days so rushing to get marraige for children is not such an issue anymore. Also women are much more career motivated which would be another reason to hold of on having kiddies….why have kids if you want a career then schlep them off to uncaring hired help for 10 hours a day? Priorities, priorities.

Having said that, it's up to the individual really and none of my business.

BTW lads - if it ends up in divorce just give her what she wants, kids, house whatever…She'll get it anyway so you may as well save on lawyer bills and just rollover and save a lot of money.

Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:

Originally posted by hutch:
A lot of the benefits or protection Julian mentions- in many places including DC- can be had through a domestic partnership.

Homosexual domestic partnership has devalued domestic partnership. Adam + Eve not Adam + Steve, son.

Do you express these embarrassingly small-minded views in public, or just when you're feeling safe behind a computer?

My pick for the most ignorant post of the year.

Originally posted by Julian, certified WEBLEBRITY:
Homosexual domestic partnership has devalued domestic partnership. Adam + Eve not Adam + Steve, son.

actually, it's my pick for second-most troll-iest post (after manimtired's collective blatherings, obviously). a juvenile & irresponsible thing said to rile people up. i'm not convinced he meant it - am i wrong, jules? even if he was against gay marriage, i'm assuming he'd find a more eloquent way to state his opposition than to quote a redneck bumper sticker.