13 Bands to pick up chicks

Couldn't resist, with Sloan coming in first (their NYC show opening for Jet was AMAZING – they blew Jet off the stage, as has become the expected for them as an opening act…)

13 BANDS THAT DRAW ATTRACTIVE WOMEN TO THEIR SHOWS

From Spendid e-zine

I'm not some sort of predatory lounge-lizard, but being single and of the male persuasion, when I go to a show I tend to notice attractive women I would like to (but probably wonâ??t) approach. Hey, if we're both at the same show then we already have something in common, right? Itâ??s a good theory, anyway. Regardless, Iâ??ve noticed that some shows have a greater number of these types of women. Here are 13 of the best bands to watch girls to, based on my own recent experiences.

(Editor's Note: In order to help Jason to approach these women, we've enlisted noted relationship expert Dr. Bruce Connaughton to provide some clever, non-threatening "opening lines". Feel free to try them out yourselves, gents.)


1. Sloan: For hitherto unknown reasons, the ladies come out in force for the Canadian power-pop gods.
Suggested approach: "Hey, nice cardigan."

2. Elliott Smith: Many, many attractive ladies flock to see the dirty, yet sensitive crooner.
Suggested approach: "Sorry if my hair smells. I haven't washed it since my girlfriend left me for my childhood best friend, totally destroying my self-respect and sending me into a downward spiral of drug abuse and ennui. Nice cardigan, by the way."

3. Beulah: The ladies just canâ??t seem to resist this San Francisco octetâ??s wily musical charm.
Suggested approach: "Hey, ladies, wanna meet Miles Kurosky? He's a good friend of mine and loves to share his alcohol."

4. Stereolab: Their brand of stylish retro-pop always seems to cherchez des femmes.
Suggested approach: "Pardon me, miss. Perhaps you could settle a bet: Is it wrong for a guy with a PhD in Philosophy to drive a shiny new Volkswagen Jetta?"

5. Beck: The nineties' funkiest white man always has plenty of comely lasses in tow.
Suggested approach: "Hey, this imported CD of Beck B-sides cost me $30, but if you sleep with me I'll give it to you for $15."

6. Radiohead: Take it from me, Thom & Co.â??s sensitive veneer always gets the ladies going.
Suggested approach: "Life is miserable and plastic and awful. Wanna shag?"

7. Godspeed You Black Emperor!: It was an uncomfortably packed house when I saw the Montreal massive, but one that was nonetheless overflowing with beautiful women.
Suggested approach: "…and if the encore runs more than 20 minutes, I get to sleep with you."

8. Blur: The kings of Britpop always manage to bring them out in droves.
Suggested approach: "Yeah, I hate Oasis too. Wanna shag?"

9. The Dismemberment Plan: Oh, so many hotties in attendance whilst the boys from D.C. are tearing it up.
Suggested approach: "If I told you you had a beautiful body, despite the size XS ringer t-shirt and jeans that haven't been washed since your older sister owned them, would you hold it against me?"

10. Blonde Redhead: I don't know this from personal experience, but it was sworn to me (by JKB) that when this schizophrenic outfit performs, lovely ladies are seldom in short supply.
Suggested approach: "Nice cardigan. Aren't you hot, though?"

11. Flaming Lips: A surprising number of rather attractive women come out so see everybodyâ??s favorite fried psych-pop/rock weirdos.
Suggested approach: "Hiya cutie. Want some acid?"

12. Weezer: All those women who come out to see Sloan have to kill the other 364 days somehow, right?
Suggested approach: "Jeez, they sure suck live, don't they?"

13. Sleater-Kinney: Lots and lots of ladies here, though not all of them take an active interest in the opposite sex.
Suggested approach: "Pardon me – would you be willing to show me what it's like to be objectified?"

– Jason Jackowiak and the staff…

I don't know how they stack up against indie bands, but Old 97's/Rhett Miller tend to draw more women than your typical alt-country band.

I seem to remember lots of hot women at a Luna show long ago.

I'll bet Bebel Gilberto will draw lots of hotties.

I'll bet her show will suck.

Originally posted by Rhett Miller:
I'll bet Bebel Gilberto will draw lots of hotties.

Given that I've seen Radiohead, Elliott Smith, Sleater Kinney, Blur, Weezer, Stereolab, Beck, the Flaming Lips and the Dismemberment Plan, I'd say that list is pretty accurate. ESPECIALLY Sleater Kinney :)

well you go, and confirm that for us. We have a parental visit that weekend.

Originally posted by thirsty moore:
I'll bet her show will suck.

Originally posted by Rhett Miller:
I'll bet Bebel Gilberto will draw lots of hotties.

I think I'll pass. To clarify, I do like Tanto Tempo. Unfortunately, her performances are somewhat bland and rely heavily on pre-recorded material.

Have a good weekend with the parents.

Originally posted by Rhett Miller:
well you go, and confirm that for us. We have a parental visit that weekend.

sleater kinney attract lots of attractive under 15 year old girls, and a few mums.

What a load of bollocks.

You need go no further than N'Sync or Backstreet Boys to be surrounded by barely legal hotties escorted by their equally as hot MILFS.


And if you're a dad escorting your teenage daughter to a show, well, let's just say, the MILF panties are already halfway down their thighs for you! ;)

Sounds like it sucks for you to be a married man…

Originally posted by Bollocks:
What a load of bollocks.

You need go no further than N'Sync or Backstreet Boys to be surrounded by barely legal hotties escorted by their equally as hot MILFS.


And if you're a dad escorting your teenage daughter to a show, well, let's just say, the MILF panties are already halfway down their thighs for you! ;)

Originally posted by Bollocks:
You need go no further than N'Sync or Backstreet Boys to be surrounded by barely legal hotties escorted by their equally as hot MILFS.

Come on, Mank – it's Splendid. They're at least trying to list some shows their readers would possibly attend – the chicks are an added benefit, and then you get those cool indie chicks… :D

Originally posted by Bollocks:
What a load of bollocks.

the MILF panties are already halfway down their thighs for you! ;)

I didn't know you had a thing for Islamists???

You're right, Mank. Ska skanks are the way to go!!

:p

You mean the chicks that think they're better than everyone else?

Originally posted by Bagalicious Tangster:

Originally posted by Bollocks:
You need go no further than N'Sync or Backstreet Boys to be surrounded by barely legal hotties escorted by their equally as hot MILFS.

Come on, Mank – it's Splendid. They're at least trying to list some shows their readers would possibly attend – the chicks are an added benefit, and then you get those cool indie chicks… :D

can't believe bright eyes/desaparecidos didn't get a mention. all the indie girls cream their jeans over conor. he's such a moody, rebel-with-a-cause rock star with a drinking problem…the puppydog eyes don't hurt either.

good pick-up line: "clear channel entertainment really pisses me off…wanna makeout?"

Originally posted by Rhett Miller:
You mean the chicks that think they're better than everyone else?

yeah and the ones that seem unusually pale/thin/plastered with glasses and a hairstyle that requires product to look messy and unkempt.

except for the thin part, you could be describing me!

Originally posted by i do not heart your balls:

Originally posted by Rhett Miller:
You mean the chicks that think they're better than everyone else?

yeah and the ones that seem unusually pale/thin/plastered with glasses and a hairstyle that requires product to look messy and unkempt.

Originally posted by joz:
can't believe bright eyes/desaparecidos didn't get a mention.

I think in order to get on the poll you had to have more than 50 people at your concert.

That's what I was told at least. :p

Of course, the leader in this area (before you get to heavy hitters like Tom Jones and Englebert Humperdink) has got to be Bryan Ferry.