News For Fake Pollards

Guided By Voices has an immense collection coming out soon, called "Suitcase 2: American Superdream Wow." The tracks of this one (I haven't seen the titles of "Suitcase 1," containing tracks 1-100) are all attributed to fake bands. Here's the listing I found:

Disc One:

101 The Plague: "This Ream"
102 Terror of Living: "Rocket Head"
103 Ragged Enzymes: "The Golden Pickle"
104 Hey John, Bees: "Your Charming Proposal"
105 Wim Dials: "Searing Tonight"
106 Billy Ray Human: "Somewhere Sometime"
107 Milko Waif: "If You Think It's Easy"
108 Wig Stomper: "His Spacetruck Is Strange"
109 Child Of Joe: "Tin Can Laughter"
110 7 Feet of Sunshine: "Sacred Space"
111 Bore Co: "Soul Flyers"
112 Throne: "Gods of Richard"
113 Scott Joy: "It's Only Up to You"
114 Ax: "Dancing With the Answers"
115 Devron Zones: "Waiting for Your Touch"
116 Milko Waif: "Soggy Beavers"
117 The Bug-Eyes Mums: "Invisible Train to Earth"
119 Karma Yeah: "Something For Susan in the Shadows"
120 Heavy River: "Sinister Infrared Halo"
121 Herkimer Mohawk: "Happy at the Drag Strip"
122 Apes in the Window: "Arms"
123 Yummy Ropes: "Solid Gold Animal Collection"
124 Some Are Bullets in Dreams: "Beach Towers"
125 Bleep Bleep F*ck: "Cosmic Clown"

Disc Two:

126 Timid Virus: "I Am Decided"
127 Mutts UK: "Tainted Angels With Butter Knives"
128 Brainbow: "What About the Rock?"
129 Scott Joy: "Pack of Rolling Papers"
130 The One Too Many: "Telephone Town"
131 The Pukes: "Hey, I Know Your Old Lady"
132 Dale Frescamo: "Headache Revolution"
133 Stumpy in the Ocean: "Every Man"
134 Milko Waif: "Alibible"
135 Ben Zing: "I Can't Help but Noticing"
136 Red Faced Rats: "Mannequin's Complaint"
137 U B Hitler: "Zarkoff's Coming"
138 Acid Ranch: "Supersonic Love Funky Love Gun"
139 The Bad Babies: "Perch Warble"
140 Scott Joy: "You're Not the Queen Anymore"
141 Throne: "Ivanhoe"
142 Herkimer Mohawk: "How Can You?"
143 Shoot'em: "The Lodger Carried A Gun"
144 Modular Dance Units: "Metro XVI"
145 Milko Waif: "My Dream Making Machine"
146 Usually To Death: "Mustard Man"
147 Wheels Pig Harvey: "Alone in Time"
148 The Plexigrall Bee-Hive: "Dusty Bushworms"
149 Wheels Pig Harvey: "Free It"
150 Christopher Lightship: "Are You Faster?"

Disc Three:

151 The Fake Organisms: "A Proud and Booming Industry"
152 We Too Bark: "Two or Three Songs"
153 Milko Waif: "Little Games"
154 Ax: "Daughter of the Gold Rush"
155 Leon Lemans: "Color Coat Drawing"
156 Silent Knife: "Learning to Burn"
157 Howling Wolf Orchestra: "A Minute Before the Evil Street"
158 The Needmores: "I'd Choose You"
159 Wavo: "You're Killin' Me"
160 Lectricaroo: "Old Friend"
161 Devron Zones: "She Don't Shit (No Golden Bricks for Me)"
162 Milko Waif: "I Have a Hard Heart"
163 The One Too Many: "Shoddy Clothes"
164 The Plague: "Sordid Forest"
165 The Needmores: "Shake It Out"
166 The Accidental Texas Who: "Cowboy Zoo"
167 Peter Built Bombs: "Soul Barn"
168 Modular Dance Units: "Phase IV (Rise of the Ants)"
169 Burial Wind: "Piece"
170 Sucko: "Lonely Town"
171 Wavo: "Do Be"
172 Academy of Crowsfeet: "Boston Spaceships"
173 Scott Joy: "Drugs & Eggs"
174 Stumpy in the Ocean: "That Ain't No Good"
175 Alvin Haisles: "Immediate Frozen Lookalikes"

Disc Four:

176 7 Feet of Sunshine: "Madroom Assistance"
177 Praying Man Vs. Bo Diddley: "Man of Dimension"
178 Alvin Haisles: "Nerve Gas"
179 The Fun Punk 5: "Do the Ball"
180 Peter Built Bombs: "The Issue Presents Itself"
181 The Banana Show: "Leprechaun Catfish Fighter"
182 Leon Lemans: "Child"
183 Howling Wolf Orchestra: "Invisible Exercise"
184 Carl Goffin: "All Around the World"
185 Alvin Haisles: "Late Night Scamerica"
186 Stumpy in the Ocean: "A World of My Own"
187 Milko Waif: "She's the One"
188 7 Dog 3: "Daddy's in the State Pen"
189 The One Too Many: "Cox Municipal Airport Song"
190 Gene Autrey's Psychic: "Scare Me No. 3"
191 Manimal: "Grope"
192 God's Little Lightning Bolt: "Heavy Crown"
193 Wim Dials: "So Roll Me Over"
194 The Inbrids: "Home by Ten"
195 Milko Waif: "Come Make My Shadow"
196 The One Too Many: "Paper Girl"
197 Yummy Ropes: "Jimmy's Einstein Poster"
198 Hot Skin Apartment: "My Only Confection"
199 Otim Grimes: "Groundwork"
200 The Fun Punk Song 5: "Bye Bye Song"

being the cult member I am, I knew about this a while ago, but thanks for thinking of me

here are 2 samples:
SOMEWHERE SOMETIME - BILLY RAY HUMAN
YOU'RE NOT THE QUEEN ANYMORE - SCOTT JOY

and in other news

MERGE RECORDS TO RELEASE ROBERT POLLARD SOLO ALBUM JANUARY 24th, 2006

FROM A COMPOUND EYE CD/2xLP MRG272

From A Compound Eye, due out on January 24th, 2006 on Merge Records will be Robert Pollardâ??s first solo album since dissolving Guided By Voices in 2004. When things came to an end for GBV, Pollard promised that this would not mean the end of his songwriting and recording career. It actually provided a fresh start. In leaving his band behind, Pollard was able to free himself from the expectations of "the next Guided By Voices record", allowing him to record when he wanted and what he wanted, with whomever he wanted.

With From A Compound Eyeâ??s 26 songs clocking in at over 70 minutes, Pollard has finally made good on his threats of releasing a double album. And the wealth of new material is astounding. Highlights include some of the best of the Pollard / GBV canon ("Dancing Girls and Dancing Men", "Iâ??m a Widow" and "Love Is Stronger Than Witchcraft"), as well as other nuggets that find Pollard tweaking his style and experimenting with new sounds. "A Flowering Orphan" has an elegant, if somewhat skewed, chamber pop feel, while "U.S. Mustard Company" and "Iâ??m a Strong Lion" are buoyant and shimmering pop tunes. "Kensington Cradle" features a noisy sound collage that works perfectly, while "Conqueror of the Moon" is epic and daunting in its prog-rock grandeur. And thatâ??s just scratching the surface of the bredth and depth of the songwriting here. From A Compound Eye proves once again Robert Pollardâ??s gift as a songwriter of remarkable talent and amazing vision.

*From A Compound Eye will be released on Must Destroy Music in the UK/Europe.

Look for Robert Pollard on tour in support of From A Compound Eye in early 2006.

Track listing:

(Side One)

1) Gold
2) Field Jacket Blues
3) Dancing Girls And Dancing Men
4) A Flowering Orphan
5) The Right Thing
6) U.S. Mustard Company


(Side Two)

7) The Numbered Head
8) Iâ??m A Widow
9) Fresh Threats ®Salad Shooters And Zip Guns
10) Kick Me And Cancel
11) Other Dogs Remain
12) Kensington Cradle
13) Love Is Stronger Than Witchcraft

(Side Three)

14) Hammer In Your Eyes
15) 50 Year Old Baby
16) I Surround You Naked
17) Cock Of The Rainbow
18) Conqueror Of The Moon
19) Blessed In An Open Head

(Side Four)

20) A Boy In Motion
21) Denied
22) Lightshow
23) Iâ??m A Strong Lion
24) Payment for the Babies
25) Kingdom Without
26) Recovering

can we all agree that any one of those hundred band names – except perhaps U B Hitler – would have been a better choice than cedars?

Originally posted by BookerT:
can we all agree that any one of those hundred band names would have been a better choice than cedars?

Actually, when I saw this on Pitchfork a few days ago, this was my EXACT thought.

All of these dethmetal bands/songs are REAL! Scary, eh?
—–

7000 Dying Rats - "And Then the Girl Said 'Why Would You Want to Be in a Band That Didn't Have a Message?'"

Abosranie Bogom - "Gum Stuck up the Ass" and "Jesus Covered with Diarrhea"

Acid Bath - "Cassie Eats Cockroaches"

Agoraphobic Nosebleed - "Bullshit Gets Up and Walks Around" and "Torn Apart by Dingos"

Amoebic Dysentery - "Anal Bead Bonanza," "Feasting on Steve Urkel's Disgorged Intestinal Fluid," "Macaroni and Manchowder," and "Pee-Wee Herman: Daycare Terrorist"

Anal Birth - "Anal Sex with a Stillborn Fetus" and "Vaginally Chainsawed"

Anal Cunt - "Ha Ha, Your Wife Left You," "I Sold Your Dog to a Chinese Restaurant," "Kyle from Incantation Has a Mustache," and "You Have Goals"

Beef Conspiracy - "The Sweet Caress of a Nailgun"

Broken Hope - "She Came Out in Chunks"

Cadaver Removal Technician - "Her Body a Canvas; My Tool, a Knife"

Cattle Decapitation - "Carnal Fecophilia Due to Prolonged Exposure to Methane"

Cenotaph - "Sickened by His Own Pathologic Fancy of Collecting Ingots of Humanial Meat" and "Superimposed
Guttural Vociferations of Ulceric Anal Turgor"

Cock and Ball Torture - "Buttman Goes to Rio," "Fat Sex Mama," "Filthy Phone Fuck Sluts," "Funny Butt Injector," "Phrenetic Pussy Slasher," "Poontang Clan," and "Where Girls Learn to Piss on Command"

Combatwoundedveteran - "I Got a Slingshot, Wanna Get Hurt?," "My Spine! My Spine! My Spine!," and "Propaganda Films Shot with a Sitcom Script"

Cranitripsy - "Gnawing on Your Bowels"

Cumchrist - "I Spell God C-U-N-T"

The Dawn of Reckoning - "The Slow Process of Digesting the Innards of an Aborted Alien Fetus"

Decomposing Serenity - "Childproof Anus Modification"

Demonic Orgy - "Booze Fueled Boners," "Cancer of the Prick," and "I Fucked Your Mom"

Disgorged Foetus - "Triumph of the Penis"

Dismembered Fetus - "Aaarrrggg!!!," "Suck My Cock and Get Out," "Turn This Shit Off!," and "Vaginal Colostomy Bag"

Dyscrasia - "Retching Up Aborted Feces"

Dysmenorrheic Hemorrhage - "Fresh Vaginal Trophy," "Marinated in Bowel Leakage," and "Microwaved Scrotal
Explosion"

Ejaculated Whore - "Put Your Head Behind My Tire While I Back Up" and "Taco Bell Abortion Party"

Erytrosy - "Broken Orgasm"

Feasting Blood - "Fistfucking a Stillborn Bitch" and "Masturbate on Little Children"

Feces Munchers - "The Anal Violation of Chicken Little"

Fetus Eaters - "C'mon, Nobody Really Likes Manowar"

Filth - "Bowel Buffet" and "Fistful of Pubes"

Flesh Grinder - "Opthalmological Laceration in the Insane Moribund" and "Tissue Injury Caused by an Apparent Immunologic Reaction of Host"

Fuck…I'm Dead - "The Delicious Dollop," "Pablo's Anal Maggot Colony," and "Slowly Raped with a Chainsaw"

Gemisuadi - "Let's Go Watch Some NASCAR"

General Surgery - "The Succulent Aftermath of a Subdural Hemorrhage"

Gore Beyond Necropsy - "Horrendously Analdrilled"

Gronibard - "Fragments of Corpse in My Bicky Burger"

Gruesome Stuff Relish - "Let's Kill Somebody Tonight"

Gut - "Corroded in Bestialized and Gorefying Wormjizz," "Dead Girls Don't Say No," and "Hyper-intestinal Vulva Desecration"

Hatemail - "I'm Going to Email You a Picture of My Nutsack" and "Why Is My Ex-girlfriend Insane?"

Hemdale - "Advanced Intestinal Love," "Buried Under a Pile of Zombie Dung," "It Burns…and It Just Plain Smells Bad," and "Tasty Hemorrhoidal Tissue"

He Who Corrupts - "Young Boy Throws Jesus in the Water (Jesus Gets Upset)"

Impulsive Mutilation - "I Fuck Anorexia," "Sex with Sandpaper," and "Vice Crushed Testicles"

Intense Hammer Rage - "Addicted to the Splatter," "Any Old Snuff Film Starring Your Kid as the Corpse," "I Dreamt I Had a Vagina," and "Roly Poly Chunks of a Pathetic Obese Cow"

Intestinal Disgorge - "Force Fed Diarrheal Slime," "Kill After Kill After Kill After Kill After Kill," and "Masturbating in Overflowed Diarrheal Toilet Water"

Ironia - "I Want More Victims," "My Grandmother Always Told Me Serial Killer Stories," and "The Traumatic Influenza of the Hemophiliac Fuck Monster"

Last Days of Humanity - "Choked in Anal Mange," "The Ecstacy of Swallowing Torso Faeces," "Hacked Into Red Mush," and "A Reeking Pile of Septic Brainfluid"

Libido Airbag - "Your Mom Can't Suck Dicks"

Lividity - "Randomly Raped Rectum"

Lymphatic Phlegm - "Abnormal Anastomosis Among the Diffuse Parts of the Arteriovenus Complex," "Abnormal Multiplication of Diaphragmmatic Tissue Cells," "Bacillosis in the Internal Ligaments of the Bile Vesicle," "Chronic Suppurated Dermatosis with Feculent Epithelial Exulceration," "Concretion Stabilized Within the Excreting Canal of the Salivary Glands," "Congenital Tumor Constituted by Embryonic Tissues and Foetal Residues," "Degenerative Affection of the Semitendious Muscular Tract," "Grotesque Congenital Deformity in The Terminal Extremity of the Excretory System Causing Anatomical Irreversibilty of the Macerated Tissue," "Growth of the Mucus Membrane Ill Vein Tissue and Stomach Subjacent Fiber Tissue," "Inhalation of Vomitus (Subsequent Pneumo-interstitial Emphysema)," "Inorganic Variety of Chronic Tuberculosis Peritonitis," "Malignant Tumor Grown from Renal Parenchyma," "Mucupurulent and Cystic Fibrosis of the Pancreas (Absence of Pancreatic Ferments)," "Multiple Induced Foetal Abnormalities in Embryopathia," "Necrosis of a Rather Extensive Part of the Jejunum Ileum," "Nephrological Problems by Degenerative Lesions in the Renal Tubules," "Pathological Analysis of the Collagenic Affections," "Pneumo-ingurgitation Consequent to the Embolism of a Peripheral Branch of the Pulmonary Arteries," "Pulmonary Thrombotic Embolism (Malignant Occlusive Microthrombus Formation)," "Spontaneous and Spasmodic Contraction of the Muscle Membranous Ligaments of the Esophagus," "Stenosis on the Circumflex Branch of the Coronary Left Artery," "Stenotic Obstruction to the Normal Progression of the Enterological Content," "Surgical Suppression of the Extremities and Abnormalities on the Basic Mechanisms of Sanguine Coagulation," and "Traumatic Subarachnoid Hemorrhage Due to Disseminated Aneurysm (Disposed to Coagulate)"

Malignancy - "Fried Afterbirth"

Merkin - "Beating Up the Elderly," "I Use Socks Instead of Condoms," "MTV Sucks My Nuts," "My Great-Grandma Is a Hooker," and "We're Gonna Shove a Lava Lamp Up Your Ass"

Minch - "Aaaarrrfff!"

Misogynist Pussyslasher - "Disgusting Fat Pig Slut"

Morbid Sexual Fetish - "Bullets Through the Back of a Hermaphrodite Zombie's Head" and "Regurgitated Intestines Through a Sewn Mouth"

Necrobestiality - "Beaten for Menstruating" and "There's Diarrhea on My Slip 'n Slide"

Neuropathia - "Mr. Stench's Story"

Neurovisceral Exhumation - "The Scraping and Blowtorch Incineration of a Methastic Rampant Gynecologic Tumor in the Colon-uterine Wall Causing Retrovaginal Expelling of Gory Sewage"

Nunwhore Commando 666 - "Bibleburning Bukkake Blaster"

Pig Destroyer - "Tickets to the Car Crash"

Pile of Eggs - "The Sounds of Crazy Alien Creatures Destroying the World"

Plasma - "Imminent Vulva Dissection"

Prosthetic Cunt - "The Ants Wanna Eat the Freak," "Choking on Human Cinder Shit," "Doing Bad Things to Her Butt with My Mind," "Fuck Her in the Ass Punch Her in the Head," "Oooooh I'm Dying," and "Vomit-stuffed Rectum"

Purulent Spermcanal - "Abnormal Grotesque Ejaculation"

Putrilage - "Crumbled Genitals" and "Facial Bowel Release"

Reek of Shits - "Anal Massacre"

Regurgitate - "Complete Rectal Prolapse" and "Ruptured Remains in a Doggybag"

Reinfection - "Skin Torn off the Genitals"

Retch - "Reinsertion of Aborted Remnants"

Rotted Vagina Tool - "Disposing My Tasty Slut Guts"

Saprogenic - "Foaming Rectal Seepage" and "Force Fed Excrement"

Scarver's Calling - "When I Hear This Music (I Want to Fuckin Kill You)"

Slough - "Three Men and a Fetus"

Stoma - "Splattered Fat Bitch"

Toilet Bowl Splatter Massacre - "Erection from Constipation"

Tourette's Syndrome - "Where's Jesus Now Bitch"

Uterus - "Eyelid Caught on a Nail," "Fingering a Corpse," and "Garbage Can Full of Cum"

Vaginal Carnage - "Indian Eskimo Nazi Cunt Serving Me Potato Cakes" and "Mad Mullet Cunts"

Vampire Sorority Babes - "I'm Gonna Run You Over with a Tractor," "I Murder the Make a Wish Children," "I Tie Children in the Basement for Fun," "Kill Your Family," "Mother Teresa Died Because She Was a Dumb Cunt," and "Remember That Brick That Flew Through Your Window and Hit You in the Back of the Head, Leaving You Hospitalized and Paralyzed? Well, the Funny Thing Is That It Was Me Who Threw the Brick"

Vampiric Motives - "He Shot Her Down and Ate Her Flesh and Then He Said 'Excuse Me, But I Would Have Preferred Being Eaten Rather Than to Eat'," "Our Methodical Rampages Are Almost Always Catasexually Motivated," and "We Approve All Types of Terrorism, But We Prefer Mass Murder"

Viscera - "Drowned in Smegma" and "Menstrual Skids"

Vomitorial Corpulence - "Festering Insalubrious Bowel Hemorrhaging of Gangrenous Pustulosus and Abdominal Abscess Discharge of the Intestinal Tract" and "Malignant Cancerous Brain Feast and Tumorous Cerebral Beverage of the Cranium"

Vomit Sex - "Battery Acid Shit Bile Ejaculation," "Clotted Urinal Pus Penis," "Gurgling with Vomit in Your Mouth," and "My Wine Is Pus, Bile, Shit and Piss"

Vomit Spawn - "Feed the Homeless to the Homeless"

WOT - "Your Kid's Not Slow, He's Just Retarded"

Necrobestiality - "There's Diarrhea on My Slip 'n Slide"

WTF??? Yecchhh!