What was your school busdriver like?

Stolen from another board…

My middle school busdriver was named Tim. He listened to The Greaseman, swerved down one way roads and had part of his ear bitten off by a dog.

My first grade bus driver was a bald rotund man. The kids called him "Uncle Fester" (which ought to give you an idea of how old I am). Whenever he went over a bump, the whole bus would yell out, "watch it Fester!" He was not amused.

In elementary school we had a bus driver who was mostly bald with a really big bushy beard. We called him "Rabbi".

Once I threw up on the bus in the way to school. The next time I rode the bus he handed me a paper bag like it was a barf bag when I walked on the bus.

Another time he caught me in the mirror getting ready to shoot a paper wad (remember the old rubber band paper wad shooter game?) at some girl's mom. He gave me harsh verbal beatdown and that was that.

Once on the way home he stopped the bus at a 7-11 so we could all get candy and slurpees….no lie. A bus driver would have his ass handed to him for something like that these days.

Rabbi was cool. Hadn't thought about him in years.

My parents drove me to school and picked me up everyday until high school and then I got a ride with friends. I never actually took a schoolbus.

*runs out of thread*

My bus driver for junior high was named Mrs. Pinkett. She stood about 4'9", weighed in around 325 lbs, and brooked no disruptions on bus #289. If you misbehaved, she stopped the bus, grabbed her stick of day-glo pink lipstick, and laid a big wet kiss on you. Kids rarely acted up twice.

Her son was a running back for Notre Dame and the Houston Oilers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_Pinkett

thanks, econo. i had successfully repressed all my busdriver memories, and you had to dredge them up. i see a therapist in my future…

i must have had some of the most bat-shit crazy busdrivers, ever. i rode a different bus ever other week, so i had the "benefit" of having two bus drivers at any given year. actually, a lot of them didn't last a whole year. among the more memorable:

- leonard, a thin man in his sixties, short with a funny moustache, and prone to getting into accidents. he had two in the same month while i was in the bus (completely annihilated the cars he hit, good thing for us buses are so heavy). he had a third one on one of my off-weeks. he was fired.

- some very short and just as rotund lady whose name i can't remember, but her insistance on wearing a ridiculous yellow and black old-school chauffer's uniform (complete with driver's cap) earned her the nickname "maya the bee"
<img src="http://www.hadess.net/blog/images/maya.gif" alt=" - " />

- rejean, who looked like a refugee from the 70's porn industry: big moustache, gold chains on a hairy chest popping out of bad italian shirt unbuttoned down to his navel, tight pants. he was really short, too. he thought the world of himself, and would insinuate to us the success he had on a nightly basis with the ladies. eventually he left us for the more profitable sector of public transit bus driving. he turned up in the newspapers a few months later, having been charged with some form of sexual harrassment of a female passenger. his explanation/excuse for his unwanted advances, as printed in the paper: "she was sitting in the front of the bus, across from me, for the whole ride - you know, where ladies sit to hit on drivers". i kid you not.

i had several other weirdos ferry me to school, but they were all made up for by Andy. he was huge, 6'2" or more, at least 300 lbs if not more. i went to french-speaking schools in a bilingual area, and andy was an english-speaker - normally this would have been an issue for snotty-nosed kids, but andy commanded a silent respect. we were free to do whatever the hell we wanted, as long as we didn't damage his bus. one year, on the last day of school, someone got their hands on a case of beer and we gave it to him as a present. we knew that he'd appreciate the gesture, and wouldn't make a fuss about it (i.e. turn us in). he mumbled a thanks, slide the crate behind his seat, and carried on with his route. didn't phase him one bit that a bunch of teens just gave him alcohol. not much phased him, actually. andy was cool and was never fired, i'll bet he's still driving a bus today. he also has a huge funny-shaped mole on one side of his nose.

time for therapy.

Only two that really stood out:

Mr. Shipley, my elementary school bus driver, was a grizzled old man that took no shit. He was bald, and had intense creases in the back of his neck from constantly looking in the mirror to see what we were up to. One day, a friend got caught (can't remember doing what), and Shipley slammed on the brakes, stormed back to his seat, picked him up by his collar and slammed him back down. It was awesome.

In high school, we had Dick. He was another old guy, but he tried way too hard to be friends with the kids. I'll never forget my first day of high school; he opened up the door to let me and my friends on and screamed "HIGH SCHOOL! PAY YOUR FARE!" Randomly, older stoner kids on the bus would just scream stuff to him. One dude would always yell "TO THE BAR DICK!" and he would salute the kid in the mirror. And he'd let us listen to whatever we wanted on the radio; when good songs came on, kids would scream "CRANK IT, DICK!" Dick ruled.

Never had a busdriver (that wasn't a drink), but these stories make me kinda wish I did! I was pretty much a boarding school / New York City Public Schools kid.

Great responses! Let's see some more.

Ah, the nightmare that was the daily schoolbus ride.

My elementary schoolbus driver was an old woman named Ruth. My junior high schoolbus driver was a different old woman named Ruth. Additionally, the junior and senior high study hall monitors were both different woman named "Ann Powers". The number of available names in my small upstate New York town appears to have been limited.

The first Ruth was a hardass. The second Ruth was not. She was a 60ish woman who played rock music eight track tapes (Foreigner, Joan Jett, Billy Squier, Billy Joel) on the bus. I remember always hearing a song by Billy Joel called "Pressure". In it, he sings "When all you feel are loaded guns in your face and you can not handle PRESSURE!", and I always thought the line was "When all you feel are lonely cunts in your face and you can not handle PRESSURE". I'm not sure I was totally aware of what a "cunt" actually was, but whatever.

Anyway, growing up I lived in the "country". As opposed to "in town". The town kids were somewhat civilized, albeit sometimes a bit snobbish. The country kids were what most DC people would refer to as "redneck white trash juvenile delinquents". In a twist of fate though, the redneck country kids used the term "redneck" to describe someone who was straightlaced and rules abiding (This may not be far from the truth, as the term "redneck" has origins in describing farmers, not white trash losers), which to them was not a good thing. I was neither a country kid nor a town kid, as described above, but rather a farmboy, and by entension, a "redneck", based on the definition set forth by the country kids.

So when I was in 7th grade, I would ride the bus driven by the second Ruth. Rock music would be blaring (which was cool by me), but the other parts of the ride were what was the nightmare. I was always one of the last to board the bus, and consequently nobody would share their seat with me. I'd finally get to the back of the bus, and one of the country kids would begrudgingly give me a seat, after being prompted to do so by Ruth. Note, the country kids had all flunked two or three grades in elementary school, making the ninth graders 16 years old, whereas I was 12, giving them a huge size advantage. As soon as the bus got moving, the unsolicited pummelling began.

Luckily for me, the country kids did take smoke breaks from their pummelling of me. They put all of the bus windows down in the dead of winter, and would proceed to smoke cigarettes and weed, while Ruth would turn a blind eye. I really think Ruth was a bit afraid of some of these kids, so to make peace with them would allow them their daily smoking on the bus.

Well eventually my parents caught wind of what was going on, and reported it to the superintendent of bus transportation, or whatever the fuck he was. A big brouhaha ensued, and for awhile, order was established on bus #75. But at some point, the country kids figured out who had ratted them out, and the pummelling began again, and Ruth went back to turning a blind eye on the situation.

Reading your stories makes me wish Mrs. Pinkett had been my busdriver.

Quebecois?

Originally posted by sweetcell:
- rejean, who looked like a refugee from the 70's porn industry: big moustache, gold chains on a hairy chest popping out of bad italian shirt unbuttoned down to his navel, tight pants. he was really short, too.

Where's that Debbie Downer img when you need it…?

Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
Ah, the nightmare that was the daily schoolbus ride.

My elementary schoolbus driver was an old woman named Ruth. My junior high schoolbus driver was a different old woman named Ruth. Additionally, the junior and senior high study hall monitors were both different woman named "Ann Powers". The number of available names in my small upstate New York town appears to have been limited.

The first Ruth was a hardass. The second Ruth was not. She was a 60ish woman who played rock music eight track tapes (Foreigner, Joan Jett, Billy Squier, Billy Joel) on the bus. I remember always hearing a song by Billy Joel called "Pressure". In it, he sings "When all you feel are loaded guns in your face and you can not handle PRESSURE!", and I always thought the line was "When all you feel are lonely cunts in your face and you can not handle PRESSURE". I'm not sure I was totally aware of what a "cunt" actually was, but whatever.

Anyway, growing up I lived in the "country". As opposed to "in town". The town kids were somewhat civilized, albeit sometimes a bit snobbish. The country kids were what most DC people would refer to as "redneck white trash juvenile delinquents". In a twist of fate though, the redneck country kids used the term "redneck" to describe someone who was straightlaced and rules abiding (This may not be far from the truth, as the term "redneck" has origins in describing farmers, not white trash losers), which to them was not a good thing. I was neither a country kid nor a town kid, as described above, but rather a farmboy, and by entension, a "redneck", based on the definition set forth by the country kids.

So when I was in 7th grade, I would ride the bus driven by the second Ruth. Rock music would be blaring (which was cool by me), but the other parts of the ride were what was the nightmare. I was always one of the last to board the bus, and consequently nobody would share their seat with me. I'd finally get to the back of the bus, and one of the country kids would begrudgingly give me a seat, after being prompted to do so by Ruth. Note, the country kids had all flunked two or three grades in elementary school, making the ninth graders 16 years old, whereas I was 12, giving them a huge size advantage. As soon as the bus got moving, the unsolicited pummelling began.

Luckily for me, the country kids did take smoke breaks from their pummelling of me. They put all of the bus windows down in the dead of winter, and would proceed to smoke cigarettes and weed, while Ruth would turn a blind eye. I really think Ruth was a bit afraid of some of these kids, so to make peace with them would allow them their daily smoking on the bus.

Well eventually my parents caught wind of what was going on, and reported it to the superintendent of bus transportation, or whatever the fuck he was. A big brouhaha ensued, and for awhile, order was established on bus #75. But at some point, the country kids figured out who had ratted them out, and the pummelling began again, and Ruth went back to turning a blind eye on the situation.

Reading your stories makes me wish Mrs. Pinkett had been my busdriver.

There were so many golden opportunities in that post! I commend you for restraining yourself.

Originally posted by ggwâ?¢:
Where's that Debbie Downer img when you need it…?

i don't remember my HS one, but i remember my junior high school one because he was the spitting image of judd nelson.

and he was nice.

Originally posted by econo:
Quebecois?

he most certainly was, in the most unflatteringly stereotypical ways… his hair was really greasy too, a tad on the long side (boderline hockey hair), and always combed back. 100% macho, the kind of man who thinks he's god's gift to women. i'm sure he spent a lot of time cruising singles bars… when not serving time for sexual harrassment.

i'm under the impression, tho, that this particular archetype of masculinity wasn't/isn't limited to la belle province.

ms shelley i think?? fat black lady with a bit of a moustache, who always had the station tuned to WPGC (hey! its donnie simpson, burnt toast and coffee time!)

i remember i fell asleep on the bus one afternoon. i woke up just in time to see the bus pulling into the county bus lot! she was a little annoyed that she had to take me back home, but at least she got some overtime for her efforts.

one bus driver i had was a late 20s-early 30's female who would have a radio on the bus that was tuned into the rock and roll station. . .she also wore tight fitting van halen t-shirts.

Originally posted by Venerable Bede:
one bus driver i had was a late 20s-early 30's female who would have a radio on the bus that was tuned into the rock and roll station. . .she also wore tight fitting van halen t-shirts.

The most important question is "Was She Hot?"

And because of the time period, I'll assume she had Jersey Mall Hair.

I once heard a story from my friend's brother in law about how he was a school bus driver in South Carolina.

Apparently 25 years or so ago in SC, you only had to be 16 to drive a school bus (it's 18 now, I'm presuming it was 16 then based on the story). Thus, this guy said that they hired high school students to drive to school busses. This guy claimed to have driven a school bus stoned while in high school dozens of times. Nice.

Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
I once heard a story from my friend's brother in law about how he was a school bus driver in South Carolina.

Apparently 25 years or so ago in SC, you only had to be 16 to drive a school bus (it's 18 now, I'm presuming it was 16 then based on the story). Thus, this guy said that they hired high school students to drive to school busses. This guy claimed to have driven a school bus stoned while in high school dozens of times. Nice.

Yeah. I think I know that cat . . .

<img src="http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/1/1c/Simpsons_Otto_Mann.png" alt=" - " />