Personal ads.....

…here's a decoder for the blokes who are thinking of responding to the personals placed by women…


40-ish …………………… 49.
Adventurous ………….. Slept with everyone.
Athletic …………………. No breasts
Average looking ………. Moooo.
Beautiful ……………….. Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure … On medication.
Feminist ……………….. Fat
Free spirit ……………… Junkie
Friendship first ………. Former slut.
New-Age ………………. Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-Fashioned ……….. No BJs.
Open-minded …………. Desperate
Outgoing ………………. Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional ………….. Bitch
Voluptuous ……………. Very Fat
Hugh frame …………… Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate ……. Stalker

I'll have to check my wife's ad to see how many of those she used.