Let's just stop recognizing marriage as a whole

I thought this was a great little piece and an interesting idea:

http://www.religiondispatches.org/blog/sexandgender/755/a_marriage_manifesto..._of_sorts

I no longer recognize marriage. It?s a new thing I?m trying.

Turns out it?s fun.

Yesterday I called a woman?s spouse her boyfriend.

    She says, correcting me, ?He?s my husband,?
    ?Oh,? I say, ?I no longer recognize marriage.?

The impact is obvious. I tried it on a man who has been in a relationship for years,

    ?How?s your longtime companion, Jill??
    ?She?s my wife!?
    ?Yeah, well, my beliefs don?t recognize marriage.?

Fun. And instant, eyebrow-raising recognition. Suddenly the majority gets to feel what the minority feels. In a moment they feel what it?s like to have their relationship downgraded, and to have a much taken-for-granted right called into question because of another?s beliefs.

Just replace the words husband, wife, spouse, or fiancé with boyfriend, girlfriend, special friend, or longtime companion. There is a reason we needed stronger words for more serious relationships. We know it; now they can see it.

A marriage is a lot of things. Culturally, it?s a declaration to the community that two people are now a unit, and that unity should be respected. Legally, it?s a set of rights and responsibilities. And spiritually, it?s whatever your beliefs think it is.

That?s what?s so great about America. As a Constitutionally secular nation, or at least in reality a vaguely pluralistic nation, we can all have our own spiritual take on what marriage is. What?s troublesome is when one group?s spiritual beliefs deny the cultural and legal rights of another.

But, back to the point. They say their beliefs don?t recognize my marriage, I say my beliefs don?t recognize theirs. Simple. It may seem petty, and obviously the legal part of the cultural/legal/spiritual trilogy is flip-floppy, but it may be the cultural part that really matters.

People get married to be recognized as a permanent couple. To be acknowledged by friends, family, and strangers as being off the market, in a relationship, totally hooked up, yikes? it?s impossible to say without saying ?married.? We wear rings to declare this!

So, we can take this away. We can refuse to recognize marriage in the cultural sense. It is totally within our rights, as Americans, to follow our beliefs and recognize or not recognize what we like.

I guess this is a call out to all Americans with beliefs similar to mine.

If you believe that all people should have equal rights, and if you believe that marriage is one of the greatest destinations of a relationship, then perhaps you believe that nobody should have marriage until everybody does.

That?s what I believe.
Novel idea.
one man plus one woman equals one big divorce.

one man plus one man equals a great cocktail party where everyone dresses nice.

of all the people on this board, there are few i like to respect.  their input, there choices of words and sentence structure impressing my idea eyes.  relaxer of course, and even sweetcell (yes, tis true) . . . but vansmack is one of a kind most times, and i still feel like shit for atttacking him last week.  if i had a beer and we were in a bar i'd raise a pint your way, wink, and proclaim, "no hard feelings, mate?"
Joe has used that line on me several times…I'm not buying it  :-*

walkonby wrote:
one man plus one man equals a great cocktail party where everyone dresses nice.
of course this discussion could have unintended consequences…
underwear party sounds hot, nkotb…can i dress you up in thongs or just leather belt?  :P

nkotb wrote:
Joe has used that line on me several times…I'm not buying it  :-*

walkonby wrote:
one man plus one man equals a great cocktail party where everyone dresses nice.

awesome idea.  what a great platform for starting the discussion.

walkies - wait, same-sex couples can't divorce? :P 
I'm choosing to stop recognizing homosexuals as a whole until they quit bitching about their agenda. Sorry guys, few rotten apples, ya know?
what agenda? Help me understand…

Julian, wrote:
I'm choosing to stop recognizing homosexuals as a whole until they quit bitching about their agenda. Sorry guys, few rotten apples, ya know?
I apologize in advance, I should have realized this thread was going to spin off in a direction that was unintended…just wanted to share what I thought was an interesting op-ed.
wanderlust wrote:
what agenda? Help me understand…
Kosmo said the thread could have unintended consequences, so I'm throwing right-wing buzz expressions around to protect the sanctity of marriage.
sweetcell wrote:
awesome idea.  what a great platform for starting the discussion.

walkies - wait, same-sex couples can't divorce? :P 


we don't divorce, we have more intercourse.  sex makes all the pain go away.  and shopping.  and we love both.

and julian, i'm done bitching.
this is a really great idea, and something i totally agree with and never even considered in this way.  i think anything else i say will be redundant, but i mean…yeah.  you can't give one person rights and not the next.  and maybe straight couples will start to understand how it feels to be discriminated against.  bump bump bump.
Julian, wrote:
I'm choosing to stop recognizing homosexuals as a whole until they quit bitching about their agenda.

because only gays have agendas.

(fyi, they're usually leather-bound with gold script - really, julian, i'd expect you to be a fan of gay agendas!  and if gays don't like their agenda, they should go shopping for a new one… they love shopping, right?  maybe jules can recommend a good source)
callat703 wrote:
I apologize in advance, I should have realized this thread was going to spin off in a direction that was unintended…just wanted to share what I thought was an interesting op-ed.


on the other hand i am surprised and quite amused that you decided to post this here.
This thread, and many others like it, remind of that one Peanuts cartoon where everyone is crowded around the pitcher's mound and Charlie Brown says, "We never win any games but we sure have lots of interesting conversations."
ooh,  oooh . . . can i be peppermint patty?
I figured you for a more fabulous version of Schroeder, or possibly Pigpen
you wrote:
you can't give one person rights and not the next.
You're right. I can't think of a single example in American law, with the exception of homosexual marriage, in which one person is afforded a right another is not. Not one. No, ma'am.
Also, I am not in favor of any homosexual marriage bill that doesn't allow for polygamy as well. Chloe Sevigny and Ginnifer Goodwin deserve the right to be married to Bill Paxton just as much as Jeanne Tripplehorn does. C'mon people, think big picture!