Which Bands Should Fire Their Drummer?

In a piece in yesterday's New York Times Magazine, John Wray heralds the return of the one-man band and profiles several musicians who, thanks to cheap recording technology, are finally living out their dream of not having to pay a bass player. When asked, specifically, why he doesn't employ a drummer, Final Fantasy's Owen Pallett (whose album title He Poos Clouds the Times hilariously deems too scatological to print) answers, "Drummers ruin bands â?¦ There are probably about 10 people in indie rock who know how to play the drums. If youâ??re in a mediocre band, just fire the drummer, and chances are youâ??ll have the best band in the world."
Could this possibly be true? Haven't R.E.M. been working tirelessly for a decade to preemptively debunk Pallett's theory? We'd always thought the real shortcut to rock-and-roll success was hiring a second drummer, which, counterintuitively, is almost always a good idea (see the Grateful Dead and Joe Cocker's Mad Dogs and Englishmen album). But would some bands actually be better off without their drummer? Bands besides the Eagles?

The Raconteurs
We'll forgo the easy joke about Jack White firing his other drummer (if anything, we'd actually like to see Meg do a solo album), and say he should lose the one in his side band. The country songs on the Raconteurs' recent Consolers of the Lonely make us curious to hear what they could do with just a pair of guitars and a mandolin.

Radiohead
Since we still want to hear them play "The Bends" at Liberty State Park in August, Phil Selway should definitely keep his status as a touring member â?? but would it eliminate the four-year gaps between albums if Thom and Jonny just broke down and used a drum machine instead of trying to get him to play like one?

Iron Maiden
No offense to Nicko McBrain, but he totally sucks.

Arcade Fire
They're already the whitest band ever, but just imagine how much whiter they'd sound without a backbeat?

Vampire Weekend
Without the drums, would they sound less like Graceland-era Paul Simon and more like Paul Simon-era Paul Simon? We could get behind that.

Coldplay
As everyone knows, the most annoying part of any Coldplay song is the rock coda they insist on tacking to the end of all their weepy piano ballads. Might they sound less bland if they lost Will Champion and all their songs were four minutes shorter?

Ringo Starr's All-Star Band
Wouldn't Hamish Stuart, Gary Wright, Billy Squier, and Edgar Winter sound great together if they weren't playing a bunch of crappy songs that Ringo wrote?

Surely there are others, right?

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/05/which_bands_should_fire_their.html
Who knew Billy Squier was still pulling in a paycheck?
Bands better with a drum machine:

They Might Be Giants
Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine
Pop Will Eat Itself
the Jesus and Mary Chain
KMFDM
Depeche Mode

And I would say that the weakest drummers I've ever seen live are:

1) Meg White (sorry everyone…she's a one-trick pony)
2) Blackie Onassis (Urge Overkill)
3) most of Echo and the Bunnymen's recent drummers (you can't replace Pete DeFrietas)
4) What's-his-name from the Shins ain't too great either

A sloppy drummer who is still totally endearing: George Hubley (Yo La Tengo)
The drummer from Def Leopard.
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Originally posted by callat703:
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Shut your mouth!
drummer 'chemistry' is apparently underappreciated. personality trumps technical skill. if you don't like meg white, you're missing the point. gnr was never the same w/out stephen adler. bobby gillespie's monkey on downers style is key to psychocandy. scott asheton's 'one trick' but bulletproof banging is key to the stooges. etc.
Originally posted by Samantha:
Originally posted by callat703:
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Shut your mouth!
Sorry - he just doesn't cut it in that band. At least not in a live setting. They could be much better with a better drummer.
I disagree…I don't think they need anything more, as a guitar-based band. Simple drums is enough…and I can forgive him having off nights.

But otherwise I'd still have to stick up for him. He kept me company in the freezing cold in Wisconsin when my car was broken down on tour. He's got my eternal loyalty, sweetest boy in the world.
More like a two trick pony. But I'll forgive you for not noticing.

Originally posted by bearman:
1) Meg White (sorry everyone…she's a one-trick pony)
)
hahaha
POTW

Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
More like a two trick pony. But I'll forgive you for not noticing.

Originally posted by bearman:
1) Meg White (sorry everyone…she's a one-trick pony)
)
Rhett, that's one of the funniest things you've ever said. It's been a crap day…thanks for making me laugh.
Originally posted by bearman:


A sloppy drummer who is still totally endearing: George Hubley (Yo La Tengo)
That's Georgia, not George. George Hubley is one letter away from being the drummer for Minutemen and fIREHOSE, though, and he's a great drummer, so you're totally excused. Not so sure if he's endearing.

And Georgia Hubley is sloppy? That one surprises me.
Perhaps he was referring to the way she dresses.


<img src="http://www.undertheradarmag.com/YoLaTengo%20current%20issue.jpg" alt=" - " />
Originally posted by mbg73:
Originally posted by bearman:


A sloppy drummer who is still totally endearing: George Hubley (Yo La Tengo)
That's Georgia, not George. George Hubley is one letter away from being the drummer for Minutemen and fIREHOSE, though, and he's a great drummer, so you're totally excused. Not so sure if he's endearing.

And Georgia Hubley is sloppy? That one surprises me.
Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
Perhaps he was referring to the way she dresses.


&lt;img src="http://www.undertheradarmag.com/YoLaTengo%20current%20issue.jpg" alt=" - " /&gt;
Originally posted by mbg73:
Originally posted by bearman:


A sloppy drummer who is still totally endearing: George Hubley (Yo La Tengo)
That's Georgia, not George. George Hubley is one letter away from being the drummer for Minutemen and fIREHOSE, though, and he's a great drummer, so you're totally excused. Not so sure if he's endearing.

And Georgia Hubley is sloppy? That one surprises me.
Man, you're on a roll today. Though if we're going by fashion sense as well as proficiency, I'd challenge anyone to name a drummer worse than Peter Criss. I mean, a fucking cat??? That was the best he could come up with?
Oops, yes I meant of course Georgia. I don't mean any ill towards Georgia, I love her. She's just one of those drummers that stumbles onto the beat, and it works in a band like YLT. She's done some awesome vocals, and to me that's where she really shines.
After catching 'LoudQUIETloud' again on the dish this weekend I'd say David Lovering from the Pixies.

I always thought Dave Clark was holding back the Five.
The Beatles…Pete Best sucks!
Originally posted by Samantha:
But otherwise I'd still have to stick up for him. He kept me company in the freezing cold in Wisconsin when my car was broken down on tour. He's got my eternal loyalty, sweetest boy in the world.
sweetness <> good drummer