Going it alone at a show

I go to shows along when its someone that I HAVE to see… Like David Bazan, Twilight Singers etc…

i'm ALWAYS the fonder of showgoing in my relationships and boys that date me know if they dont go i'll either go alone or go with one of my guy friends.

and sucks to be short… i'm 5'9"ish in flats. ha.

Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
Am I hearing/seeing a pattern that when it's a couple who have unequal love for showgoing, it's almost always the male who is fonder of showgoing?

Way to insecure to go alone. For any band. The shame.

She's not short, just average height. But in a packed club, that doesn't make for very good slight lines when we get close to the stage, which is where I generally try to go.

Originally posted by miss pretentious:
and sucks to be short… i'm 5'9"ish in flats. ha.

I couldn't believe it when I saw this thread. I saw one just like this at another forum a couple years ago. The guy who started that one said he'd never gone to a show alone, and acted like it was a completely unheard-of concept. I'm glad to see so many people here who do. I go to shows alone all the time. Looking over my show list, it looks like I've been alone about half the time over the years (70 solo shows, by my count). But that's a bit skewed by my changing situation over the past few years.

While I was in the Navy, I was always going to shows alone. The vast majority of shows I saw in Seattle I saw by myself. I had a really good friend out there (who lives in New York now) who went with me from time to time, but I was flying solo probably about 80% of the time. And for the year I lived down in Virginia, I was alone for almost all of my shows. That inludes every show I saw at The NorVa or Relative Theory Records, every show at Jaxx, and a ton of DC shows. As a matter of fact, I did a lot of things alone while I was in the Navy. I went solo in almost every port I ever visited, even though we were never supposed to (the "buddy system", yeah, to hell with that).

Since I left the Navy and came home, I've had a show buddy, though. It's my mother. She took me to shows while I was growing up, and thus she's the main reason I'm such a concert junkie. We still went to shows together while I was in the Navy whenever I'd come home on leave, and we really started up again when I moved to Virginia, but now that I'm home we go together all the time. I suppose it might seem odd to some of you that a guy in his mid-twenties goes to shows with his 50-something mother, but you have to understand our relationship. We're like best friends. And unlike many other people her age, she's actually interested in today's music. In fact, she says that she's more interested in music now than she's ever been in her life, that there are more bands making great music out there than there have ever been before. And she still loves going to shows. So if you ever see a short, gray-haired woman in her late fifties (probably wearing some hip band shirt you'd expect to see on a teenager) with a shaggy-headed kid in his mid-twenties, it's most likely us. Sweetcell's met us, ask him. :)

And since I've just moved back home after six years in the Navy, I hardly know anyone at all around here anymore. I really have no one else to go with, and it's nice to have company after years of going to shows by myself. I still do go to shows alone, though. My mother and I listen to a lot of the same stuff, but I like certain bands (and whole genres, actually) that she doesn't. Plus, it's just nice to go by myself sometimes. I got used to it over the years. And as you can imagine, as much as I love my mother, there are times I'd rather see a show without her.

I'm ridiculously shy and self-concious, though, so I almost never really meet or talk to anyone when I'm by myself. I always hope to, to be honest, but just never do. If someone strikes up a conversation with me, I'll be more than happy to talk up a storm, but I never initiate anything. That's probably why I'm alone so much of the time to begin with, and not just at shows.

On the subject of movies, I go alone to almost every one I see.

Pollard, are you going to one of the Spoon shows at the Doug Fir in a couple of weeks? I'll be at the Friday show. It will be easy to locate me…I'm the black girl. :D

I can count on one hand the number of times I've attended a show with someone else in the past year.

So many great things have happened to me by going to a show alone. I've met some awesome fans and sometimes the performers. (I think it also helps that I'm the Random Citizen and don't stick out much.)

There are definitely drawbacks, including limiting how much you drink so you don't lose your spot for a potty run. Though my job responsibilities may prevent me from staying out super-late (e.g. missing that !!! show because they didn't go on until 12:30 AM), I don't see myself missing out because I'm going solo.

On dining solo…well, just be careful that you don't get hit up by a couple who wants to take you to a strip club and then ask you to join them for a threesome. Er, I heard that happens to some people… ;) :eek:

I don't mind going alone if I'm really in the mood or it's a band I really want to see. Good chance I'll run into someone I know.

I tend to recruit some friends for shows. They usually agree because I keep up with the schedules more than they do and they've come to trust my recommendations. It doesn't always work out, though, and I'd rather go alone than bring people that aren't very into the music. Like others said, it's a drag if you've got to manage your friends' fun level.

Except for chatting between sets, I think that shows are a very individual experience. It's you and the band.

Originally posted by Reod Dai:
Since I left the Navy and came home, I've had a show buddy, though. It's my mother (…) Sweetcell's met us, ask him. :)

indeed, reod's mom is way cool. upon first read, one might wonder "what kind of momma's boy is this?" but if my mom was that cool, i'd be taking her to shows all the time too. my mom is damn cool too, just not in the concert/club way.

oh crap, it's mother's day tomorrow innit?!?

Originally posted by Random Citizen PDX:
There are definitely drawbacks, including limiting how much you drink so you don't lose your spot for a potty run.

very true, forgot about that one. then again, flying solo stopped me from drinking too much at the second gibbard show the other night, and given that it was a school-night that was a good thing.

For the better part of my adult-concert going life (we'll say post-college), I too have attended shows by myself. Most of the people that I have a chance to get to know don't share my cultural tastes, and if they have, they've had other obstacles to attending shows (kids, $$, etc) For a little bit my wife made an attempt to come to a few shows with me, but it was never something she was into, so that experiment ended.

I've always been fine going to shows by myself as it's always been less of a social interaction thing for me and more about the experience with the music. I do fine it interesting to watch and listen before the show or between sets as people talk and drink. Fortunately, I've been able to amuse myself via people-watching.

At this point in life, I am comfortable with the logistics of going by myself. While it might seem selfish, it is nice not to have to concern yourself with someone else's agenda at a show. I can arrive and leave when I choose and stand where I like.

I almost always go to shows alone. Once in a blue moon I'll go with someone, but it's not too often and I usually feel responsible that they have a good time since I'm usually the instigator. Besides, I don't view going to concerts as a social event. Some of my friends do and don't really understand why I would go by myself. My response is usually "Why do you watch Lost by yourself?" Also, as previously posted, a single ticket will get you a better seat in the bigger non-GA shows. (Case in point, I just bought an Aretha Franklin ticket. There are only singles available unless you want the lawn. YAY!)

I really don't mind the wait between sets. It's a good time for me to catch up on my reading so I actually welcome it. Also, at the 9:30 club, usually the music that's played in between makes the down-time fly by (so keep posting your setlists djs!)

I never went to a show alone, except for one horrible HFS festival, until I had a child. Then, if other friends couldn't or didn't want to go, it just became easier to leave my husband at home, especially because he's not as into going to shows as I am. I certainly would rather go with a friend, but I would miss too many shows if I didn't go alone. The 9:30 club and Black Cat are easy and comfortable. I went to one Merriweather show alone, and that was ok. I think I'd be more uncomfortable at a place like the Verizon Center.

Originally posted by eip:
The 9:30 club and Black Cat are easy and comfortable. I went to one Merriweather show alone, and that was ok. I think I'd be more uncomfortable at a place like the Verizon Center.

I go to Birchmere for the food.

Originally posted by Random Citizen PDX:
Pollard, are you going to one of the Spoon shows at the Doug Fir in a couple of weeks? I'll be at the Friday show. It will be easy to locate me…I'm the black girl. :D

I didnt even realize they were playing. Probably not, I think my next show is The High Strung at Dantes. But if I end up going I will keep an eye out for you.

Oh c'mon Pollard, don't pass up this chance at a love connection!

Originally posted by pdx pollard:

Originally posted by Random Citizen PDX:
Pollard, are you going to one of the Spoon shows at the Doug Fir in a couple of weeks? I'll be at the Friday show. It will be easy to locate me…I'm the black girl. :D

I didnt even realize they were playing. Probably not, I think my next show is The High Strung at Dantes. But if I end up going I will keep an eye out for you.

pics or it didn't happen.

Originally posted by miss pretentious:
it's all right. i'm sure i was 'asking for it' in my:
a. tight shirt
b. short skirt
c. tight jeans
d. heels

This is why you are regularly pepper-sprayed.

Originally posted by econo:
pics or it didn't happen.

Originally posted by miss pretentious:
it's all right. i'm sure i was 'asking for it' in my:
a. tight shirt
b. short skirt
c. tight jeans
d. heels

i usually go to shows alone. it feels a bit awkward when i first arrive, mostly because i'm usually 1 of 5 black people there. the awkwardness goes away once the music starts though.

i found out a few years ago, it's better to go alone than with someone that's not really into the band.

so far this year, i've been to 6 shows. sometimes i want someone there to share it with, but until i meet people that like shows as much as i do, i'll continue to go it alone.

festivals are the hardest to go to alone…until the music starts… :D

Which is why the follow up line is:

pepper spray or it didn't happen.

Originally posted by nkotb:
This is why you are regularly pepper-sprayed.

I usually go alone because it is such a long drive..and I don't feel like being in a car with someone for that trip. ha ha
Unless it is the scissor sisters then all my friends want to go.
:)