Hilariously Creepy First Date (stolen from another messa

Short Story
Went on this date with a girl and had a really fun time, see pictures below

Long Story
So yesterday i went out with this girl Briana that i had met about a week ago at a friendâ??s birthday brunch. She and I really hit it off. So i asked her out. I gave her 3 low descriptive date ideas with different length of time. (3hrs, 6hrs, all day). And she chose the all day date which was called â??let me take you to the islandsâ?. Now I know this may sound like fiction to some of you, but she said â?? I canâ??t pass up the chance to spend all day with you :) â?

So here is my crazy over the top date.

It started by picking her up at 8am. I was dressed as a pirate. Rang the door bell and her father open the door; he was a real good sport with me wearing the pirate outfit. Briana smiled when she saw me all dressed up. I then gave her 6 necklaces made of seashells for her to wear on our island adventure. I took her to my â??black pearlâ? and we â??sailed awayâ? to our 1st island. But before we sailed away I made sure to get out of that pirate get up.

I had breakfast waiting for her in the car (fruit, orange juice & banana bread from Starbucks). Along w/ an itinerary of our date, telling her how far things were and what time we were suppose to get there by. And the itinerary was actually extremely accurate. I also made her a CD as I always do for my dates. I called the CD â??200 Miles (around the world)â?; Google maps had calculated 200 miles to be how far we would travel for our date.

The 1st place we stopped at was Treasure Island; this is a small artificial island located in the San Francisco Bay ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treasure_Island,_CA ) where we walked around and took some pictures. We actually found this beautiful gazebo and took a picture there
<img src="http://www.monteit.com/briana&monte-ti.jpg" alt=" - " />

We then went back to my car where I put down the top and I taught her how to drive my car which is a manual stick shift. She did REALLY well.

From there we went up to Tiburon, California which is right across the golden gate bridge. Where we took a ferry to Angel Island ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_Island%2C_California ) and rented bikes to ride on the island. While we were riding I had started up the conversation of what wild animals might live on the island then seconds later we saw a deer and a wild turkey as we were biking. I then joked about how an island isnâ??t complete without a giant ape. We laughed about that, and talked about other funny wild animals that we might see on the island. We then got to a spot where u can look out and see the Golden Gate Bridge, and I told her to sit tight as I go and get a surprise set up for her. I took out a plastic banana from my backpack to help fend off any wild animals. I took off on my bike and came back dressed as an ape. She saw me biking up to her and at 1st she was a little frighten and then started laughing as I got off the bike and started to dance my way to her. She gave me the banana and I did a little dance for it. I then got out of the ape outfit and we started back on the bike ride.

<img src="http://www.monteit.com/briana&ape.jpg" alt=" - " />

One thing that I had forgotten about Angel Island is that it used to be a POW camp during World War II and most of the original buildings were still there. Briana loves the old rundown buildings. I had no idea. So we explored the buildings and took some really cool pictures! I also did some video as well if anyone wants to see that.
<img src="http://www.monteit.com/briana&monte-ai.jpg" alt=" - " />
<img src="http://www.monteit.com/briana.jpg" alt=" - " />
<img src="http://www.monteit.com/brianastairs.jpg" alt=" - " />

We then went back to the ferry pick up and I went to pay for the bikes as she went to make sure the ferry didnâ??t leave without me.

We then went to the â??big islandâ? Half Moon Bay, California where we grabbed a quick lunch & then went and rode horses on the beach.
<img src="http://www.monteit.com/b&j-beach.jpg" alt=" - " />

We then went back to my house and got dressed up for dinner. Briana looked so beautiful, it is a shame we didnâ??t take any more pictures. We had a lovely dinner at my favorite restaurant and then danced on an island in the middle of the road. She thought that was a very clever idea & really enjoyed dancing on what I called our own private island. I gave her a globe that was a magnetic round puzzle and told her how the dating world is a puzzling place. Once again I had lucked out because she loves puzzles. We ended the date by going to one of my favorite views of the bay area from the hills of Oakland. And I got her home around 11:30am that night. We both were bummed that she was going back to school in Utah but we plan to keep in touch and go out when I am out in Utah for The Smashing Pumpkins concert in late September. She told me this was the best date she had ever had & how she loved how she didnâ??t have to think about anything because I had it all so carefully planned out for her.

Am I right that this kid is batshit insane? I'm pretty sure if I show up at a girl's house at 8am as a pirate, her father is macing me and calling the police.

<small>[ 09-04-2007, 01:05 PM: Message edited by: econo ]</small>

aww don't pick on monte.

Originally posted by distance:
aww don't pick on monte.

I'm the first to defend Monte usually and think people should not insult him merely because he happens to be LDS, but this is so beyond all common sense and propriety that it's virtually undefendable. How do you not pick on a guy who recreates Planet of The Apes for his first date with a girl he's known a week. :o

I wonder if she knew that part of the deal was that her picture and date story would end up all over the internet?

Although I guess if you're into getting picked up at 8 am by a guy dressed as a pirate, that might not matter…

Originally posted by Julian, good manners AFICIONADO:
We both were bummed that she was going back to school in Utah but we plan to keep in touch and go out when I am out in Utah for The Smashing Pumpkins concert in late September.

the corny pirate morning pick-up, the ape costume, the cheesy "i did/gave her XYZ and as it turns out she loves XYZ!", i can deal with. but it's the smashing pumpkins part that creeped me out.

what happened to the good ole days when you just met and screwed, then found out what each other is like and all that other, mushy, love dribble?

Originally posted by sweetcell:
but it's the smashing pumpkins part that creeped me out.

If that creeps you out, the kid is well known in the SP community for filming his own versions of Pumpkins music videos. They're not scene-by-scene re-enactments; no, he storyboards his own ridiculous stuff.

EDIT: His video for Tonite, Reprise.

His video for Jupiter's Lament.

Here's his video of the date in question: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nStThb0LRyM

"How much do you like typing on the computer?"

"Um, about as much as I like glass in my eye."

I'm fascinated by this whole thing. There's a case study in here somewhere. What girl is down with a guy videotaping their entire date??

i like how the "related videos" are the beatles, a nintendo conference, and something about a san francisco, cross dresser. i'd say that sums up the case study.

Who's taking the photo's of the two of them together?

And he's lucky he in San Francisco, because if he was in Manchester, UK he'd get his arse kicked just for being a twat….shit, even his date would kick his arse just for being a twat!!!!

Finally…so did he get his hole? Or at least a BJ???

Originally posted by Roadbike Mankie:
Finally…so did he get his hole? Or at least a BJ???

He's a devout Latter Day Saint and virgin, so no.

Originally posted by Julian, good manners AFICIONADO:

Originally posted by Roadbike Mankie:
Finally…so did he get his hole? Or at least a BJ???

He's a devout Latter Day Saint and virgin, so no.

if his date went to school in utah, then maybe she's a mormon too?

if i ever went on a date with a mormon girl, i'd invite her over to my house to watch orgazmo. if she had a sense of humor about it, then i'd know she'd be cool.

Originally posted by danknugz:
if his date went to school in utah, then maybe she's a mormon too?

I assumed as much. Most devout members of that religion only date within their religion.

In all of the pictures, she has a half and half creeped out/totally bored look to her.

Originally posted by Brandon Brendall, the thief:
In all of the pictures, she has a half and half creeped out/totally bored look to her.

You can get all P.C. with it, if you must. She's just busted, fam. I mean really . . .

8 a.m.???? Why didn't the father whoop the shit outta this cat??? And they wonder why the youth of America is so fucked up . . .

Fuck a "gold star". Golden douchebags all around for all the parties involved with this unsettling tale.

What would have been even creeepier is if he had showed up at 8am dressed as a mortgage banker.

well, she bascially asked for this. i mean, she did volunteer herself for an all-day date, with a guy she had just met with an ambiguous theme.

and i wonder what the 3 hour and 6-hour-long dates were if they involved a gorilla costume and a video camera. hilariously creepy, yes. but she did sort of ask for this.

i messed around with a mormon girl once… i guess she wasn't all that mormon then.

Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
What would have been even creeepier is if he had showed up at 8am dressed as a mortgage banker.

I was unaware we had a set outfit!

The further dating exploits of Jonathan Monte…

I had met a really great girl on Dec 2nd. Her name is Amy and she is very cute and was a delight to talk to. I chose to ask her out. I had told her about how I like to do big wow dates that consequently cost a handful of money. She said that she would "love to go out with me" but she wanted to make it hard on me by giving me a $30 limit. This was except able by me and was praised by others. Many of my friends said that she would be worth dating for having such integrity by not expressing that she wanted to do something amazing and costly.

Amy and I ended up talking on the phone a lot. And shortly after several days in a row of talking to her I found that we clicked. She was obviously the kind of girl I have wanted to date all my life. Sweet, easy to talk to, willing to be open with me and loves the church of which we both are committed to. Plus she loves to cook which is a HUGE plus! She is by far the best girl that I have meet this year. And I have done a lot of dates (13+ different girls)

I wanted to prove to Amy that I could give her an amazing date. I told her that this date was going be one we could look back at and say 'wow, that was a really cool date!' So I had planed our date to be done as follows.

I would greet her at her door and give her a paper flower i made that request she put a memory of our date on each petal.
&lt;img src="http://www.monteit.com/flower.jpg" alt=" - " /&gt;

I also had written a letter and had a box wrapped up

the letter read as follows:

Enclosed are two crowns.
One marked for Amy and one marked for Jonathan
Please take the crown of your counter partner and read the inscriptions aloud
Starting with Jonathan reading the inscription to Amy and then Amy to Jonathan.
Then crown each other.

Sincerely His Grace-
The King

Inside the box where the 2 crowns from burger king that i had placed our names on. here is a picture of them.
&lt;img src="http://www.monteit.com/crown.jpg" alt=" - " /&gt;

and had these inscriptions that read the following

Amy's Crown:
Rules of being a Princess
A princess must always act
in a princess fashion.
She must remember that she is
royalty and always expect to be treated
as such.

Things a Princess Must Remember:
1) A princess will never need to open any door. As royalty she is entitled to all doors to be open for her by a fair prince.
2) A princess should always show thanks for that of which she receives.
3) A princess needs not to always wear her crown if she should chose to remove it. But she should never forget that she is royalty.
4) A princess should always be with a fair prince until she wishes to dismiss him

Perks of being a Princess:
She gets to spend time
with a fair prince instead of some frog.

The Authority of a Princess:
A princess has the right; as all women
do, to make a choice to show affection,
to except or decline affection from a prince. Along with the divine authority to rebuke any
unwanted affection however she may please


Jonathan's Crown:

Rules of being a Prince
A prince must always act as
a fair prince, willing to protect
his princess of which he is
courting, even if just for an evening

Things a Prince Must Remember:
1) A prince must open ever door for his princess with a smile. He should never be slow to opening a door.
2) A prince should always be thankful for the honor of being with a princess.
3) A prince needs not to always wear his crown unless he is accompanying a princess whom is wearing hers.
4) A prince should always be with his princess until she wishes to dismiss him

Perks of being a Prince:
He gets to spend time with a beautiful princess

The Authority of a Prince:
A prince has the right to treat a princess with100% respect. This is as far as his authority reaches.


From here we crown each other. And walk out her door to my car. At my car I had a little red table cloth that was made of plastic that i had rolled out for over 10 feet as a red carpet for her. which lead to her door which i was to open. Inside she would have a special CD that I made for her. 20 tracks and a booklet telling her why i chose each track for the CD.

We then would go to one of my clients beauty salon where we were going to give her a manicure for free. thanks to my client. From here we would travel to downtown and walk to another client shop to get 4 chocolate covered strawberries that was once again free. From here we would go to an office i do work at and play a board game, and while playing a board game a client whom owns a floral shop would come in giving her a dozen roses at no cost to me. From here we would go to dinner @ a clients house for dinner. a very elegant dinner. We would enjoy their company. From here we would return to my car where upon i would ask her to open my glove compartment and give me a brown bag, which would have 6 stars like this. They have little LEDs that connect to a battery on the back and is tightly secured so that they can give light.
&lt;img src="http://www.monteit.com/star.jpg" alt=" - " /&gt;


They have a magnet on the back which would allow them to hold onto my convertible top, and i would tell her we are going take a drive under the stars. From here we would drive to a place where a Salvation Army bell ringer would be, and donate the $30.


Sadly she had to cancel our date… and we plan to go out again, but this time she is in charge of making the date and I gave her $200 and said she has to use it all and give me a really cool date!


Sigh being romantic didn't seem to pay off…

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.