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Dad joke, thread

grateful
Joined: October 15, 2008 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 11564
Re: Dad joke, thread October 16, 2021 at 07:14 PM UTC #
What did the boy say when he saw the cemetery covered in snow?

Icy dead people.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CVGS7hIpfdl/
grateful
Joined: October 15, 2008 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 11564
Re: Dad joke, thread October 24, 2021 at 03:26 PM UTC #
I own a pencil that was once used by William Shakespeare but he chewed it a lot, so I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B…

https://twitter.com/DadJokeMan/status/1452162306603900932
WALKonBack
Joined: Unknown
Posts: 0
Re: Dad joke, thread October 24, 2021 at 05:51 PM UTC #
What is faster . . . hot or cold?

Faster.  You can always catch, a cold.
grateful
Joined: October 15, 2008 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 11564
Re: Dad joke, thread October 24, 2021 at 05:52 PM UTC #
WalkOnBack wrote:
Is what is faster . . . hot or cold?

Faster.  You can always catch, a cold.


That's hot
beetsnotbeats
Joined: April 26, 2002 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 5756
Re: Dad joke, thread November 20, 2021 at 01:01 AM UTC #
sweetcell
Joined: July 18, 2006 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 22608
Re: Dad joke, thread December 28, 2021 at 08:40 AM UTC #
RECOGNIZE:

GAY,GUY
Joined: Unknown
Posts: 0
Re: Dad joke, thread December 30, 2021 at 07:32 PM UTC #
What did Oda Mae Brown, say to Mary on December 24th?

Molly . . . you in manger, gurl.
GAY,GUY
Joined: Unknown
Posts: 0
Re: Dad joke, thread October 10, 2022 at 12:38 AM UTC #
Why did the man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?

Well, if he's going to be impotent, he might as well look impotent.
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: Dad joke, thread September 25, 2023 at 10:40 AM UTC #
We started a band and called ourselves Books

So no one can judge us by our covers

@dadsaysjokes
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: Dad joke, thread November 07, 2023 at 06:00 PM UTC #
sweetcell
Joined: July 18, 2006 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 22608
Re: Dad joke, thread November 07, 2023 at 06:12 PM UTC #

beseech-Hatchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl wrote:

^ INCORRECT

YYYY/MM/DD is the ONLY acceptable format.  on this i will not budge, however i'm willing to negotiate on the slashes. 
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: Dad joke, thread November 07, 2023 at 06:26 PM UTC #


I recently disposed of 20 so of these!  (at an e-waste event of course)
Blow, me, Joey
Joined: Unknown
Posts: 0
Re: Dad joke, thread October 15, 2024 at 07:13 PM UTC #
Who do you call, when you need someone to lend a hand?

Jack Hoff
sweetcell
Joined: July 18, 2006 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 22608
Re: Dad joke, thread October 15, 2024 at 09:04 PM UTC #
what is the leading cause of dry skin?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
towels
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: Dad joke, thread December 05, 2024 at 05:15 PM UTC #
What do you call it when someone who isn't a dad tells dad jokes?

A faux pa.
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: Dad joke, thread December 11, 2024 at 07:16 PM UTC #
*golf clap*
Isaac
Joined: June 04, 2003 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 373
Re: Dad joke, thread December 19, 2024 at 03:14 PM UTC #
Yes and at their age, Gary Oldman is looking like Gary, old man.
And whatever Gary Numan has done to his balding pate and his face really did make him look like a new man.
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: Dad joke, thread January 14, 2025 at 12:03 PM UTC #
My friend tells me he writes songs about sewing machines.

He’s a Singer Songwriter, or sew it seams.
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