Official 930 Club COLONOSCOPY thread

Had a friend who happened to be driving to Vermont…

Space wrote:

grateful wrote:
Yeesh. I'm drinking a Heady Topper in your honor. You'll make it through this, man.

Ima gonna guess Yada looks down on Heady at this point. im also going to ask, Where'd you get it?

Wrong… would prefer it to most haze these days.

56oz in, my ass is a faucet. 8oz more to drink, the rest will be drank tomorrow morning.

Just got back, from my second, camera up the ass. The 5 year, in-between visits, is fine by me. My hole, after a no sleep night of shitting water, feels like a "Jeff Palmer 50 Load Weekend" (don't ask).

They found, three,  pimple size polyps, that the doctor said with a laugh, "Hey, I was all up in there, so I took them out." God, I love colon humor.  Here's hoping, they are nothing.

The, end.

Rectum? Girrrrrrrl, I barely, knew them,!

I had my first one done at 42 in May. Really wish I had it done earlier. I've had a hemorrhoid issue for four years that caused me a lot of stress and had been putting off getting one done. But I got it together and finally got one scheduled.

The worst part is 36 hours of fasting. The drink they give you to clean you out tastes bad, don't get me wrong, and the constant shitting sucks, but the fasting is not fun at all. But my doctor did the procedure and she gave me a clean bill of health. Wild that she gave me photos of inside my lower intestine.

Went and spent $20 at Shake Shack after my procedure. Shackburger, cheese fries and Coke. Best damn meal I've ever had. Like I was on death row and it was my last dinner.

If you're putting off getting your colonoscopy, don't. It's not that bad at all.

I've had at least two and don't recall 36 hours of fasting.

My wife won't even go see a doctor for a routine physical, much less get a colonoscopy. She "doesn't have time."  In spite of me nagging her to do it, often. Her uncle just died from colon cancer.

I've had way too many to count… pro tip. Get the pills instead of the drink.

Also, have hemorrhoids ever been mentioned on the forum?

Yada wrote:
Also, have hemorrhoids ever been mentioned on the forum?

Its definitely been a constant feature in my private messages. ;)

Yada wrote:
I've had way too many to count… pro tip. Get the pills instead of the drink.

Also, have hemorrhoids ever been mentioned on the forum?

How do you know the difference between them and anal fissures?

Every time I'm in Europe and get to use a bidet, I want one

Space wrote:
I've had at least two and don't recall 36 hours of fasting.

GWU MFA told me 36 hours of clear liquid diet from Sunday after dinner through procedure at 11 am Tuesday. Or is your definition of fasting no liquids?

Thousand wrote:

Space wrote:
I've had at least two and don't recall 36 hours of fasting.

GWU MFA told me 36 hours of clear liquid diet from Sunday after dinner through procedure at 11 am Tuesday. Or is your definition of fasting no liquids?

I honestly don't remember the details. Just didn't seem the long to me. Internet give conflicting info.

Is there anyone who posts on this forum regularly who is too young to have gone through at least one?

Neither I, nor any family member I’ve known to have a colonoscopy, have went liquids-only for 36 hours. I was told to start around noon the day before and the procedure was like 8am. Less than 24 hours.

Julian, wrote:
Neither I, nor any family member I’ve known to have a colonoscopy, have went liquids-only for 36 hours. I was told to start around noon the day before and the procedure was like 8am. Less than 24 hours.

Probably depends how full of shit you are… but in reality I see where thousand is coming from.

Let's say I have a noon appt on July 22nd. In reality, you probably have your last meal at 8pm on July 20th… you officially cleanse the colon the entire next day… well, 8pm the 21st is 24 hrs… noon on July 22nd is 40 hrs. I've definitely done that.

24, 36, 40, whatever. That's nothing compared to Bobby Sands.

I still haven’t gotten one…way overdue…

I guess I got to man up before I am man out.

My mother is "of an age" where insurance will no longer cover certain routine checkups because she's old enough that she'll probably die from something else, rather than, say, slow-growing cancers.

grateful wrote:
My mother is "of an age" where insurance will no longer cover certain routine checkups because she's old enough that she'll probably die from something else, rather than, say, slow-growing cancers.

80+?

Space wrote:

grateful wrote:
My mother is "of an age" where insurance will no longer cover certain routine checkups because she's old enough that she'll probably die from something else, rather than, say, slow-growing cancers.

80+?

Yep. I guess the point the actuaries are making is that if you're likely gonna die of something soonish, you can skip all the preventive care and save so much money!

grateful wrote:

Space wrote:

grateful wrote:
My mother is "of an age" where insurance will no longer cover certain routine checkups because she's old enough that she'll probably die from something else, rather than, say, slow-growing cancers.

80+?

Yep. I guess the point the actuaries are making is that if you're likely gonna die of something soonish, you can skip all the preventive care and save so much money!

Do you know her hemmoroids or anal fissure status?