Parenting issues

bitter wrote:
I mean the grade implications (slightly better grades?) are so much less important than the values you will be instilling!


Do you really think grades or where you go to college matter that much?!?

Does It Matter Where You Go to College?
Research suggests that elite colleges don’t really help rich white guys. But they can have a big effect if you’re not rich, not white, or not a guy.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2018/12/does-it-matter-where-you-go-college/577816/

A question for parents of teens, past and present.

What happens when your teen doesn't want the meal that is being planned/cooked? My theory has always been, as it was growing up, "You eat what the family is having, or you go without (or maybe you eat some fresh fruit as your meal)." That's the way it was growing up for me. The added bonus for my kid (over me as a kid) is that my wife (cooks three nights a week) and I (cook four nights a week) are much better cooks than my mom (seven nights a week) and dad (never) were.

When our daughter was younger, there were some dishes that were a stretch for her taste buds (e.g. a spicy Indian dish) that we didn't expect her to eat, so we substituted other things. Now that she's older, she can handle dishes like that.

Still, at least half the time, kid refuses to eat what is being planned and demands something else. Wife thinks this is fine ("she shouldn't have to eat something she doesn't want.")

Hence, two dinner meals are often cooked. One for the adults and one for the kid. Actually, this happens three times a day…I typically eat cereal for breakfast and a dinner leftover for lunch, while kid refuses to eat cereal or leftovers of any kind and expects a cooked  breakfast (or at least a blended smoothie) and a cooked lunch. (And if course i get bitched at by my wife, because my kid refuses to eat anything i offer, so the breakfast and lunch duties fall to her, and that's somehow my fault.)

Is this normal and acceptable at this age?

I had the made preparing a second meal to my liking at 11, so this seems pretty reasonable to me.

Julian, wrote:
I had the made preparing a second meal to my liking at 11, so this seems pretty reasonable to me.

Was the maid also your spelling teacher?

Space wrote:

Julian, wrote:
I had the made preparing a second meal to my liking at 11, so this seems pretty reasonable to me.

Was the maid also your spelling teacher?

No, that was the tooter Thomass.

As a former math teacher, I'm a little bit concerned that the algebra substitute teacher for the rest of the school year is a 21 year old college student with no teaching experience. Oh well, she has a good tutor at home.

Space wrote:
As a former math teacher

Ahhh, I see.

Space wrote:
As a former math teacher, I'm a little bit concerned that the algebra substitute teacher for the rest of the school year is a 21 year old college student with no teaching experience. Oh well, she has a good tutor at home.

If I'm recalling the tale correctly, weren't you also a substitute math teacher in your twenties with little to no teaching experience (at my wife's HS in her senior year, IIRC).

Julian, wrote:

Space wrote:
As a former math teacher, I'm a little bit concerned that the algebra substitute teacher for the rest of the school year is a 21 year old college student with no teaching experience. Oh well, she has a good tutor at home.

If I'm recalling the tale correctly, weren't you also a substitute math teacher in your twenties with little to no teaching experience (at my wife's HS in her senior year, IIRC).

Was this before or after he started throwing bottles at people?

McGanahan wrote:

Julian, wrote:

Space wrote:
As a former math teacher, I'm a little bit concerned that the algebra substitute teacher for the rest of the school year is a 21 year old college student with no teaching experience. Oh well, she has a good tutor at home.

If I'm recalling the tale correctly, weren't you also a substitute math teacher in your twenties with little to no teaching experience (at my wife's HS in her senior year, IIRC).

Was this before or after he started throwing bottles at people?

My wife definitely taught him that, so before.

Julian, wrote:

Space wrote:
As a former math teacher, I'm a little bit concerned that the algebra substitute teacher for the rest of the school year is a 21 year old college student with no teaching experience. Oh well, she has a good tutor at home.

If I'm recalling the tale correctly, weren't you also a substitute math teacher in your twenties with little to no teaching experience (at my wife's HS in her senior year, IIRC).

Yes, I subbed before getting a full time teaching job.

McGanahan wrote:

Julian, wrote:

Space wrote:
As a former math teacher, I'm a little bit concerned that the algebra substitute teacher for the rest of the school year is a 21 year old college student with no teaching experience. Oh well, she has a good tutor at home.

If I'm recalling the tale correctly, weren't you also a substitute math teacher in your twenties with little to no teaching experience (at my wife's HS in her senior year, IIRC).

Was this before or after he started throwing bottles at people?

I don't recall throwing anything at anybody, but kids threw things at me on a few occasions….not at Julian's wife's school…the kids there were actually pretty good.

Space wrote: but kids threw things at me on a few occasions….

beleviable

Dr. wrote:

Space wrote: but kids threw things at me on a few occasions….

beleviable

Can confirm.

What kind of parent am I that I'm raising a kid who flat out refuses to go for a weekend family trip (5.5 hours each way) to visit her grandmother (who she hasn't seen in 1.5 years) on her grandmother's 80th birthday (and her mom "doesn't want to make her do something she doesn't want to do?")

The kind who has an abusive and neglectful partner, if I had to draw conclusions from . . . *gestures at the entirety of your family tales*

Julian, wrote:
The kind who has an abusive and neglectful partner, if I had to draw conclusions from . . . *gestures at the entirety of your family tales*

Is it my partner's fault if she herself says she's willing to go "out of a sense of wanting me to be happy?" I mean, it's 90% her fault the kid is so spoiled, but isn't the blame to be laid in the kid in this instance?

I mean, how much can you do to "make" your kid do something that isn't in their own selfish best interest?

That said, when i was a kid, there was not question on something like this. You did as your parents said, and you shut up about it.

Option 1: Tell your partner to fuck off and go by yourself for the weekend (assuming this is your mother you're referring to)

Option 2: Tell your partner to fuck off, stuff her and your daughter in the prius and hit the road.

Yada wrote:
Option 1: Tell your partner to fuck off and go by yourself for the weekend (assuming this is your mother you're referring to)

Option 2: Tell your partner to fuck off, stuff her and your daughter in the prius and hit the road.

It is my mother. My partner has no issue with going. Her issue is with "making" my daughter go.

My wife also breast fed the kid until she was 3, wiped her ass until she was 10, and gives her the option to have a separate meal cooked for her if she doesn't like what the family is having (she's nearly 14.)