Parenting issues

Damn…

Serious question: why do you get to define “art”?

I have been in your shoes. I believed it was my role to open doors but allow them to explore. And be themselves. We talked about - and I sometimes questioned - the stuff they liked that I thought was off balance, for lack of a better term. But, then, I reminded myself that there is shit I listen to that most people will never appreciate. And I DGAF.

I’d talk to them about it and I’d give it a listen. it’s probably just a phase. But how you react to it is important.

Get an ICP tattoo. It will suddenly be the least cool thing on the planet.

excontradiction wrote:
Get an ICP tattoo. It will suddenly be the least cool thing on the planet.

Now you are thinking!


Let's be clear bordies, I'm joking about actually doing something
my parents absolutely hated the music I listened to and bought me headphones instead of banning it

I do struggle with being a music snob and being judgy on my kids decisions

my oldest is recptive to music I suggest and I often send spotify mixes
the yougest gets outright mad when I try to suggest songs, especially when I hear a band they like has a new album…that really annoys them for some reason

TikTok with all its annoyances has really turned them on to a lot of music
they are now like songs by blondie, artic monkeys and dolly parton
my kids turned me on to bands like beach bunny, girl in red, tones and I, billie Elish and some others
I've turned them on to Lana, Lucy and Julien Baker


I did find this funny article about bringing kids to a gathering of jugalos
https://mom.com/baby/21667-families-gathering-juggalos

this line cracked me up and could see space's kid doing this
Another dad that I spoke to spoke of Juggalo culture and his embrace of Insane Clown Posse in spiritual terms. He was there with his adorable but uncomfortable looking daughter, who was carrying a sign asking for donations for her college fund.

My 14 year old is home all summer. No classes, no camps, no job, no responsibilities.

I am also home all summer, working 8-9 hours per day, doing a long dogwalk after work, and cooking dinner four nights a week.

Is it too much to ask my kid to wash her own dishes and clean up her messes she makes when she makes herself breakfast or lunch?

Space wrote:
My 14 year old is home all summer. No classes, no camps, no job, no responsibilities.

I am also home all summer, working 8-9 hours per day, doing a long dogwalk after work, and cooking dinner four nights a week.

Is it too much to ask my kid to wash her own dishes and clean up her messes she makes when she makes herself breakfast or lunch?

No,  but you should also encourage/force your child to do some activities or sign her up for things

yes, at 14 she can clean her own dishes.  personally i think she should be doing a little more, but that's up to you.

and +1 for getting her involved in something.  it'll be beneficial for both her and her parents.  she likes art, doesn't she?  sign her up for a drawing camp, a sculpting school, a weekly pottery workshop… [font=Verdana]something[/font][font=Verdana].[/font]

I did notice those who don't actually have teen agers have responded….let's touch base when you have one ;)

Side-estoppel wrote:
I did notice those who don't actually have teen agers have responded….let's touch base when you have one ;)

I may be jumping to some conclusions but based on much evidence posted on this here forum over the past 17 years, I suspect Space and I may parent quite differently…

Yada wrote:

Side-estoppel wrote:
I did notice those who don't actually have teen agers have responded….let's touch base when you have one ;)

I may be jumping to some conclusions but based on much evidence posted on this here forum over the past 17 years, I suspect Space and I may parent quite differently…

true, but the way you parent kids under 7 is quite different to teens…trust me
you can lead them to water, but you can't make them drink…no matter how much you want to or think it would be 'good for them'

these phones and constant access is quite the parental dilemma that past experience has no impact

Side-estoppel wrote:

Yada wrote:

Side-estoppel wrote:
I did notice those who don't actually have teen agers have responded….let's touch base when you have one ;)

I may be jumping to some conclusions but based on much evidence posted on this here forum over the past 17 years, I suspect Space and I may parent quite differently…

true, but the way you parent kids under 7 is quite different to teens…trust me
you can lead them to water, but you can't make them drink…no matter how much you want to or think it would be 'good for them'

these phones and constant access is quite the parental dilemma that past experience has no impact

My fear is Space's child has not interacted with another human other than him and his wife in the past 16 months and prolonging that will do no one any good.

Yeah, it's a little late to sign up for activities now. We're three weeks into the summer and have three weeks of travel upcoming (two separate trips.) It was kind of hard planning for summer activities when we didn't know what the vaccine situation was going to be.

We did sign up for a pool membership, and chose the farther away of the two pools, necessitating a bike ride to get for her to get to the pool.

This is a kid who is so lazy, she was lamenting to me poolside yesterday what a pain clothes are "First you have to pick them out, then you have to put them on, it's sooooo much work."

She did a acquire a Bob's Burger's cookbook. So she has decided to eat her own burgers for dinner every day, instead of eating the meal dad is cooking.

I told her that's fine, but she needs to clean up her dishes and messes (she tend to leave everything strewn across counters and stovetops, with spills and dirty dishes galore.) But my wife insists (to the point of yelling at me)that she (daughter) shouldn't have to do her dishes, it's my responsibility since I'm in charge of preparing the meal.

I mean, sure, I might do her dishes for her if she were in school and had homework to get to. Or had camp. Or did a sport and had double practices going on. Or did other chores. Or read a fucking book ("I don't want to read a book, I read articles on my phone.") Or did anything other than sit on the fucking couch watching cartoons and making sugar concoctions all day, every single day (*except on weekends when she makes her mom take her to the mall to buy her crap, or to the boba shop to get boba, or to dunkin donuts or starbucks for sugar covered coffee.)

Yada wrote:

Side-estoppel wrote:
I did notice those who don't actually have teen agers have responded….let's touch base when you have one ;)

I may be jumping to some conclusions but based on much evidence posted on this here forum over the past 17 years, I suspect Space and I may parent quite differently…

I'm not part of a family where I'm really allowed much input as a parent. My job is to back my wife up. At least that's what I'm told.

Yada wrote:
My fear is Space's child has not interacted with another human other than him and his wife in the past 16 months and prolonging that will do no one any good.

I've been secretly opening my own publishing house so they day she turns 18, I can get one of my ghost-writers to get her memoirs to market.

Yada wrote:

Side-estoppel wrote:

Yada wrote:

Side-estoppel wrote:
I did notice those who don't actually have teen agers have responded….let's touch base when you have one ;)

I may be jumping to some conclusions but based on much evidence posted on this here forum over the past 17 years, I suspect Space and I may parent quite differently…

true, but the way you parent kids under 7 is quite different to teens…trust me
you can lead them to water, but you can't make them drink…no matter how much you want to or think it would be 'good for them'

these phones and constant access is quite the parental dilemma that past experience has no impact

My fear is Space's child has not interacted with another human other than him and his wife in the past 16 months and prolonging that will do no one any good.

Except for a couple of playdates with one friend, this is essentially true. Not because of any restrictions we put on her, but simply because she had so few friends before the pandemic.

Julian, wrote:

Yada wrote:
My fear is Space's child has not interacted with another human other than him and his wife in the past 16 months and prolonging that will do no one any good.

I've been secretly opening my own publishing house so they day she turns 18, I can get one of my ghost-writers to get her memoirs to market.

:D :D :D

Space wrote:

Yada wrote:

Side-estoppel wrote:

Yada wrote:

Side-estoppel wrote:
I did notice those who don't actually have teen agers have responded….let's touch base when you have one ;)

I may be jumping to some conclusions but based on much evidence posted on this here forum over the past 17 years, I suspect Space and I may parent quite differently…

true, but the way you parent kids under 7 is quite different to teens…trust me
you can lead them to water, but you can't make them drink…no matter how much you want to or think it would be 'good for them'

these phones and constant access is quite the parental dilemma that past experience has no impact

My fear is Space's child has not interacted with another human other than him and his wife in the past 16 months and prolonging that will do no one any good.

Except for a couple of playdates with one friend, this is essentially true. Not because of any restrictions we put on her, but simply because she had so few friends before the pandemic.

:'( :'( Further evidence she should be involved in something… band, art, sports (doesn't sound likely), gaming club, whatever.

trust me idle time is the devil's playground with teens….so it's really good to tap into what they like and get options available
that can be a tough nut to crack with mopey, ornery teens
sometimes $$ helps

Side-estoppel wrote:
trust me idle time is the devil's playground with teens….so it's really good to tap into what they like and get options available
that can be a tough nut to crack with mopey, ornery teens
sometimes $$ helps

Thanks for that advice. Don't disagree with any of it. She did just pocket $1000 for getting straight A's on each of her quarterly report cards. That said, how do I get her to wash the extra dishes she dirties, especially when her mother says she shouldn't have to wash them?

Space wrote:

Side-estoppel wrote:
trust me idle time is the devil's playground with teens….so it's really good to tap into what they like and get options available
that can be a tough nut to crack with mopey, ornery teens
sometimes $$ helps

Thanks for that advice. Don't disagree with any of it. She did just pocket $1000 for getting straight A's on each of her quarterly report cards. That said, how do I get her to wash the extra dishes she dirties, especially when her mother says she shouldn't have to wash them?

parents gotta sing from the same song sheet when it comes to chores/discipline

I'm struggling with it too, as I'm happy the kids are making their own food, but ends up being more work for me

I will say getting straight As durring the pandemic was a lot easier than most years

Space wrote:

Side-estoppel wrote:
trust me idle time is the devil's playground with teens….so it's really good to tap into what they like and get options available
that can be a tough nut to crack with mopey, ornery teens
sometimes $$ helps

Thanks for that advice. Don't disagree with any of it. She did just pocket $1000 for getting straight A's on each of her quarterly report cards. That said, how do I get her to wash the extra dishes she dirties, especially when her mother says she shouldn't have to wash them?

Jesus titty! Last thing I would ever expect.

A grand for getting srtaight A's??? Get her in some dorky smart club then!