My Journey into Becoming Single Again at Age 45

Relaxer wrote:
I just ran the numbers and I've dated (in some form or another) eleven women since January. The fact that I had experiences/connections with 10 women before F is a good thing. This is not a case of buying the first house you visit. And while I think we're at the start of a very nice relationship, I would not put money on it lasting beyond this year only because I figure I'll fuck it up somehow. Hell, even yesterday I found myself sassy-chatting with a hot single mom at my son's baseball game and she texted me her number last night.

well just to be clear I'm not talking about you specifically.. more about men in general


Men tend to need women more than vice versa.. .women tend to age fairly well, live noticeably longer.. men crap out

look at Bill Clinton and Hillary for example… Bill looks terrible… can hardly deliver a speech without fucking up.. meanwhile Hillary is the energizer bunny..

Relaxer wrote:.. because I figure I'll fuck it up somehow. Hell, even yesterday I found myself sassy-chatting with a hot single mom at my son's baseball game and she texted me her number last night.

This was a great coda to the lamest chapter in this book
We look forward to your annihilation

sassy . . . chatting?

Yeah, I'm totally boring now, still fully on the F train with no salacious stories to tell and no sordid experiences to cackle about. I even told that hot single mom who texted me that I was off the market. Which is a damn shame because she was ready to go.

On the bright side, once this relationship with F inevitably shits the bed, I'll be jumping back into the sexpool with both feet, so stay tuned.

please do trumpsingles!

SideSquatch wrote:
please do trumpsingles!

i can't support this strongly enough.  please please please sign up.

sweetcell wrote:

SideSquatch wrote:
please do trumpsingles!

i can't support this strongly enough.  please please please sign up.

So it was the Gwarbq for Jules last year
this summr it's TrumpSingles for Relaxer…we'll all chip in for the preimum account

why would he do this? He just dumped a busload of chicks….

It's true, after a spring of utter debauchery, I girlfed out for THREE MONTHS with F. We had a great, loving relationship that moved like a whirlwind. It was almost disconcerting how quickly we became a couple with future plans and locked-down commitment. Now, I will say that there's some fuzziness between the time when we both declared each other committed and the time when I stopped hooking up with other women. Some might even whisper that a certain married mother of 2 never completely went away entirely. But the fact is, F and I had a great summer romance that was a lot of fun.

However, little niggling issues have the potential to compound into enormous roadblocks, and that was the case here. I don't want to go too much in-depth on this for privacy reasons, but it boiled down to the fact that she'd been single for 5-6 years and I'd been single for 5-6 months, and we were just in different places.

And it wasn't even the cliche of, oh she wants a relationship and I, the lone wolf, am resisting commitment. I thought we were in it for the long haul and we were talking about all sorts of future plans. We just had different ideas about how we were going to get there, so we had a very frank and honest conversation and determined that we could either stay together and intertwine our lives even more, leading to a complicated and messy break up down the road, or we could just end it right away. And so, that's what we did, it's been 2 and a half weeks and we've had zero contact since.

Which led to last Saturday night when I got black-out drunk and invited over a woman who'd messaged me earlier that day on OKC. I have very little memory of it, and it turns out I did some damage to her back door (which she reported with delight). I had no idea we'd taken a ride in the butt boat, though I knew something wild and rambunctious had occurred because my neighbors on both sides of my house contacted me the next morning to say that my partner's screaming had been way over the top. "Sorry!" I said, sheepishly. Took a half hour shower after that and then realized my credit card was missing (probably unrelated; I canceled it and there were no bogus charges on it).

In a few days, I'm scheduled to meet a married woman and her husband at a bar and then take the wife home or out to the car or something. I'd seen her a couple times before I disappeared from the market. Her husband apparently gets off on being emasculated.

And I'm in negotiations with a woman who said she wants a friend-with-benefits arrangement, and it turns out she lives like two blocks from me. That's both good and bad, but I'll have to see wassup with her before I can tell which one.

he's back!

;D

Relaxer wrote:
I had no idea we'd taken a ride in the butt boat, though I knew something wild and rambunctious had occurred because my neighbors on both sides of my house contacted me the next morning to say that my partner's screaming had been way over the top. "Sorry!" I said, sheepishly. Took a half hour shower after that and then realized my credit card was missing (probably unrelated; I canceled it and there were no bogus charges on it).

I cede any claim I might have ever held to Best Writer on the Forum.

F and I had our 'talk' on a Saturday night, so come Sunday morning I was eager to get into 'bounce back' mode. I re-engaged my OKC profile and I also dropped texts to all of the women I'd suspended back in May.

Married woman replied within like two minutes with a blizzard of texts, and she's the one I'm supposed to steal away from her husband this weekend.

Bartender that is 2-3 inches taller than me replied quickly as well and we went out that night and had a great long night like we'd never even taken a break. She's been unusually cool about giving me space too; I haven't seen her since that night, which is good because she is a horrific scratcher. The next day while getting undressed at the gym, I forgot about my back and when I took off my shirt, several of the guys were very taken aback. I looked in the mirror and it was like Rambo's Vietnam scars in First Blood. There was at least one impressed whistle echoing throughout the locker room that day.

Texted the single mom I met at our kids' baseball game right before embarking on the F train and all she did was reply with "lol". Which I gotta say, I really kinda admired. I replied "ball" but got nothing back.

Two other women I'd hooked up with earlier in the year replied to my text with great anger. One was pretty straight-forward about it. "I thought we were building something, we were sleeping together, and then all of a sudden you just broke it off out of the blue. I don't do that and I don't do guys that do that so bye." I respected that. The other, however, replied with such venom and rage and all caps HOWLING PAIN  over the course of about 15 text paragraphs that I could only reply with "I am sorry, I was honest and straight-forward with you, and I'm sorry it hurt you like this" and then blocked her.

Interestingly, I didn't immediately message weirdo Anime girl but then the night that Everything Everything played USMH, I had an extra ticket because my buddy bailed. I texted her out of the blue asking if she wanted to see a cool show and she replied saying she was half a block away. I said "come on over!" and she said she'd be there in 30 minutes, which was good timing since the opener had just finished. However, when she texted to say "Almost there!" I went up and then saw her get out of an Uber, which is puzzling if she's half a block away, but then again, who cares and am I really gonna ask questions when A) I don't actually care, and B) it could make things boner-killingly awkward.

So the show was great and we went home together that night and it was a fantastic as always. However, I also remembered that as amazing as she sounds on paper, in real life her manic magic Asian routine gets very tiresome very quickly. Everything is SOOOOOOOO this and SOOOOOOOOOO that, and when she asks a question or if I'm telling a story, she's super distracted because I know she's just trying to think of what else she should say. I even told her that night that I saw us as a once-a-month thing and she replied with something about pumpkins or some random shit like always.

Anyway, I was kinda sad about F for a couple days, but now I'm reveling in the fact that every morning when I wake up, there's a pretty damn good chance I've got some rando messaging me on OKC or some other woman is asking what I'm doing that night. Hell, I woke up last Saturday morning thinking I had no plans and would just stay home and watch 'Blood Father', which I'd just downloaded. Instead I ended up violating some woman to the point where my neighbors thought for sure a homicide was going down.

Single life has its charm.

Maybe I'm the weird one, who isn't using this thread as jerk off material . . . But I find all of this to be, disturbing.

Ehhh whattyagonnado

I am waiting for the thread to turn into a cautionary tale…

Blood Father sounds fun, did you ever get to it?

I did watch Blood Father. Look, I know the whole thing of the reformed or retired assassin/warrior/sniper has been done to death, most recently and excellently via John Wick. So Blood Father, I think, tried to innovate by making Mel a very reluctant hero who is constantly complaining about being on parole and his sobriety being threatened. Also, there is a LOT of talking about "I'm sorry for my mistakes" and "you weren't there!" and blah blah brokenfamilycakes. But ultimately, it was entertaining and very tense and even if the daughter is kind of a dingbat, I ended up liking it. I think I gave it a 6/10, which means it was "good".

were you jerking off with a hand full of blood, as you watched it?

remember, what thread you are in.

I finally have a Korean girlfriend and not only does she have ZERO knowledge of KPOP, what I've played for her, she hates. It's unreal! It's like dating a porn star that refuses to put out. She doesn't even like 4Minute. Everybody likes 4Minute! How does that happen?

It's been a good month since breaking up with F, I have to say.

Relaxer wrote:
It's unreal! It's like dating a porn star that refuses to put out.

It's like dating a masseuse who refuses to give you a massage!