My Journey into Becoming Single Again at Age 45

Space wrote:
Kicked out? Wow, that's harsh.

sweetcell wrote:
oh wow… story please!  this is the perfect thread for it too, since he's about to become newly single again.  and i'm sure he doesn't read this board, so it'll be fine.

vansmack wrote:
Well, my mate knew his wife was pregnant with their second child and had an affair.  And I don't think this was his first. 

vansmack wrote:

Space wrote:
Kicked out? Wow, that's harsh.

sweetcell wrote:
oh wow… story please!  this is the perfect thread for it too, since he's about to become newly single again.  and i'm sure he doesn't read this board, so it'll be fine.

Remember that scene in Hi Fidelity when Joan Cusack's character calls Rob an asshole and hangs up?  Rob then explains that he might be an asshole because he slept with a woman during a quasi-breakup while Laura was pregnant, but in his defense he didn't actually know she was pregnant.

Well, my mate knew his wife was pregnant with their second child and had an affair.  And I don't think this was his first. 

Vas wrote:
no comment yet from walkonby?   ;D

Julian, wrote:

vansmack wrote:
Well, my mate knew his wife was pregnant with their second child and had an affair.  And I don't think this was his first. 

He probably DID deserve a frying pan to the head.

vansmack wrote:
There are no "sides" when there are children involved.

I don't know the full story about their marriage, I don't care to know the full story about their marriage and my main interest is the children's best interest.

He may be a terrible husband (and in particular for that woman) but he's an excellent father. 

Julian, wrote:

Vas wrote:
no comment yet from walkonby?   ;D

I assumed, he was, too busy, masturbating, furiously.

vansmack wrote:
There are no "sides" when there are children involved.

I don't know the full story about their marriage, I don't care to know the full story about their marriage and my main interest is the children's best interest.

He may be a terrible husband (and in particular for that woman) but he's an excellent father. 

Relaxer wrote:
On my end, this journey begins with the collapse of my marriage. Nothing specific triggered it. There was no infidelity, no huge emotional event, just a widening of a gap that emerged after a few years with her. We did couples therapy, we tried having sex every day, we scheduled frequent and consistent date nights. These would salve our issues for a time, but then we'd return to bickering and arguing and not talking. Finally she decided to move out, perhaps as a temporary fix, break or relief (this is my interpretation and I easily may be incorrect), but I took this opportunity to end the relationship once and for all.

Anyway, once singlehood found me, I began assessing my options. A friend of mine talked about finding hook-up partners on CraigsList, so I took a look at that. Holy shit, what a decadent fuck-swamp that is. Seriously, 99% of the personal ads there involve prostitutes, financial scams, sugar daddy solicitations, and open wounds. However, I hit the 1% lottery by meeting K, a 26 year old African American bodybuilder whose husband neglected her. We exchanged emails for a week and then met, purely platonically of course. She wasn't particularly interesting but her body was magnificent. On our first meeting, she talked about herself non-stop for two hours while I drank glass after glass of Irish whiskey. I think what she really wanted was someone to listen to her, which I had no choice but to do, so finally she stopped talking and within seconds had aggressively initiated action.

For the next few weeks, we met every couple of days (always when my kids were with their mom) and the same routine would apply. She'd talk and talk and never ask anything about me, and then we'd go to bed. It got boring because she'd tell the same stories again and again, but I always kept my eyes on the prize, and our bedroom sessions were astronomical. It's weird being with a woman who can bench more than I can, and I can bench quite a bit.

One night she was going to come over but my ex-wife was being really pushy about what I was doing that night and she said she was going to come over to pick up some things. So I knew hosting was not an option. I happened to have the keys to a neighbors house, who were out of town but returning the next morning. I don't know them well but I figured "Hey, empty house!" So she and I met there and as evil/disgusting as it is, we ended up on their bed with a white comforter. What I did not know was that K was at the end of her monthly beautiful time, and the subsequent mess made my heart pretty much stop. I mean, it was everywhere. And they were due home in 12 hours.

So we scoured their house for stain remover or hydrogen peroxide and finding none, I ran home to get ours. As I was coming out of the bathroom, my ex-wife walks in the door (K had stayed behind at the other house) and immediately says "What's the peroxide for?" I tell her I have an ear ache and that I was going to pour some in there, so I am forced to do that as she makes a show of looking for the "thing" she came to fetch. Finally she leaves, I clean out my ear, and race back. Ten minutes later, we're almost done cleaning the stains (and thanking Christ it wasn't a light blue or yellow comforter) when my phone rings and it's my ex again wanting to know where I went, because she'd returned to the house. I said I went for a walk to clear my head/ear and she was extremely dubious.  

Within a week, K and I were having yet again the conversation about how her husband is an asshole and I finally piped up and told her (nicely) that she should take action rather than just bitch to her secret lover. She took that to heart, unfortunately, and that was the last night we saw each other. I was ok with that, as it was the perfect introduction into becoming single again.

Yada wrote:

vansmack wrote:
There are no "sides" when there are children involved.

I don't know the full story about their marriage, I don't care to know the full story about their marriage and my main interest is the children's best interest.

He may be a terrible husband (and in particular for that woman) but he's an excellent father. 

Is a quality of an excellent father cheating on your children's mother? Just wondering.

P.S. I feel like James Ford right now.

saintangelsin wrote:
I'm single and 30.

Julian, wrote:

Relaxer wrote:
On my end, this journey begins with the collapse of my marriage. Nothing specific triggered it. There was no infidelity, no huge emotional event, just a widening of a gap that emerged after a few years with her. We did couples therapy, we tried having sex every day, we scheduled frequent and consistent date nights. These would salve our issues for a time, but then we'd return to bickering and arguing and not talking. Finally she decided to move out, perhaps as a temporary fix, break or relief (this is my interpretation and I easily may be incorrect), but I took this opportunity to end the relationship once and for all.

Anyway, once singlehood found me, I began assessing my options. A friend of mine talked about finding hook-up partners on CraigsList, so I took a look at that. Holy shit, what a decadent fuck-swamp that is. Seriously, 99% of the personal ads there involve prostitutes, financial scams, sugar daddy solicitations, and open wounds. However, I hit the 1% lottery by meeting K, a 26 year old African American bodybuilder whose husband neglected her. We exchanged emails for a week and then met, purely platonically of course. She wasn't particularly interesting but her body was magnificent. On our first meeting, she talked about herself non-stop for two hours while I drank glass after glass of Irish whiskey. I think what she really wanted was someone to listen to her, which I had no choice but to do, so finally she stopped talking and within seconds had aggressively initiated action.

For the next few weeks, we met every couple of days (always when my kids were with their mom) and the same routine would apply. She'd talk and talk and never ask anything about me, and then we'd go to bed. It got boring because she'd tell the same stories again and again, but I always kept my eyes on the prize, and our bedroom sessions were astronomical. It's weird being with a woman who can bench more than I can, and I can bench quite a bit.

One night she was going to come over but my ex-wife was being really pushy about what I was doing that night and she said she was going to come over to pick up some things. So I knew hosting was not an option. I happened to have the keys to a neighbors house, who were out of town but returning the next morning. I don't know them well but I figured "Hey, empty house!" So she and I met there and as evil/disgusting as it is, we ended up on their bed with a white comforter. What I did not know was that K was at the end of her monthly beautiful time, and the subsequent mess made my heart pretty much stop. I mean, it was everywhere. And they were due home in 12 hours.

So we scoured their house for stain remover or hydrogen peroxide and finding none, I ran home to get ours. As I was coming out of the bathroom, my ex-wife walks in the door (K had stayed behind at the other house) and immediately says "What's the peroxide for?" I tell her I have an ear ache and that I was going to pour some in there, so I am forced to do that as she makes a show of looking for the "thing" she came to fetch. Finally she leaves, I clean out my ear, and race back. Ten minutes later, we're almost done cleaning the stains (and thanking Christ it wasn't a light blue or yellow comforter) when my phone rings and it's my ex again wanting to know where I went, because she'd returned to the house. I said I went for a walk to clear my head/ear and she was extremely dubious.  

Within a week, K and I were having yet again the conversation about how her husband is an asshole and I finally piped up and told her (nicely) that she should take action rather than just bitch to her secret lover. She took that to heart, unfortunately, and that was the last night we saw each other. I was ok with that, as it was the perfect introduction into becoming single again.

Instant Hall Of Fame. No doubt.