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The Great Headline thread

kosmo
Joined: September 23, 1999 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 16329
Re: The Great Headline thread September 06, 2023 at 07:08 PM UTC #
hanky/lanky-Hatchıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llıl wrote:
guy has a wiki about him and his escapades
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reza_Baluchi


most recent attempt going to need a little more detail seeing as there was a bomb threat involved in this one
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread September 08, 2023 at 03:06 PM UTC #
Why We Keep Putting Up With Martin Short




(personally I love short, but this headline cracked me up)
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread September 10, 2023 at 04:50 PM UTC #
Eating the Rich Sounds Pretty Good to Most of Us Right Now


Bonus points for including schadenfreude in the article
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread September 19, 2023 at 04:20 PM UTC #
Watch slime-covered penis mushroom that smells like rotting flesh grow and decay in mesmerizing time-lapse
kosmo
Joined: September 23, 1999 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 16329
Re: The Great Headline thread October 01, 2023 at 11:05 PM UTC #
Man crashes vehicle into police station while blasting Guns N' Roses, police say
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread October 03, 2023 at 05:30 PM UTC #
I like the mid sentence gulp… just don’t see that in headlines

Could We Really Be Headed Toward—Gulp—Speaker Stefanik?
kosmo
Joined: September 23, 1999 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 16329
Re: The Great Headline thread October 06, 2023 at 01:12 PM UTC #
Dead Rat Found In Middlesbrough shop selling Illegal Vapes And Alcohol To Children
beetsnotbeats
Joined: April 26, 2002 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 5756
Re: The Great Headline thread October 06, 2023 at 02:15 PM UTC #
kosmo wrote:
Dead Rat Found In Middlesbrough shop selling Illegal Vapes And Alcohol To Children


So, a vape store?
kosmo
Joined: September 23, 1999 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 16329
Re: The Great Headline thread October 06, 2023 at 04:42 PM UTC #
Justin wrote:
kosmo wrote:
Dead Rat Found In Middlesbrough shop selling Illegal Vapes And Alcohol To Children


So, a vape store?


With one very ambitious rat
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread October 06, 2023 at 05:33 PM UTC #
kosmo wrote:
Justin wrote:
kosmo wrote:
Dead Rat Found In Middlesbrough shop selling Illegal Vapes And Alcohol To Children


So, a vape store?


With one very ambitious rat
what the headline leaves out is the rat was giving the profits, off the sales to these stupid human teens, to feed all the unhoused rats in his community, so lets not crucify this community-focused rodent
nkotb
Joined: August 15, 2001 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 6500
Re: The Great Headline thread October 06, 2023 at 11:40 PM UTC #
The Black Eyed Peas have settled their case against a pooping unicorn toy
sweetcell
Joined: July 18, 2006 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 22608
Re: The Great Headline thread October 07, 2023 at 03:16 AM UTC #
nkotb wrote:
The Black Eyed Peas have settled their case against a pooping unicorn toy
 
NOT THE INFO WE DESERVED, BUT THE INFO WE NEEDED
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread October 10, 2023 at 05:41 PM UTC #
Amish men carrying forbidden cell phones outed by national emergency alert test
beetsnotbeats
Joined: April 26, 2002 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 5756
Re: The Great Headline thread October 10, 2023 at 06:13 PM UTC #
If they were on Rumspringa, it doesn't count.
kosmo
Joined: September 23, 1999 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 16329
Re: The Great Headline thread October 13, 2023 at 09:58 PM UTC #
Man 32, goes blind in one eye after using Viagra

I have questions
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread October 14, 2023 at 05:09 PM UTC #
more like, scary headline

Scientists grow chickens with dinosaur legs as they aim to prove how evolution works
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread October 20, 2023 at 03:58 PM UTC #
Oh God No: Morrissey Actually Showed Up This Time


my date is suuuuper into Morrissey. All part of the plan: Morrissey no-shows, date gets bummed, I swoop in with a little bit of the ol’ “Don’t worry baby, let’s go listen to The Queen Is Dead at my place and throw gladioli all over our naked bodies” routine. Super solid plan, right? But then this pompadour with Tourette’s had to show up and shit all over it.



Didn't see any post show banter
kosmo
Joined: September 23, 1999 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 16329
Re: The Great Headline thread October 20, 2023 at 05:43 PM UTC #
Finally someone fessed up!

Czech village priest sorry for smashing pumpkins
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