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The Great Headline thread

Hutch
Joined: February 23, 2023 at 09:34 PM UTC
Posts: 6264
Re: The Great Headline thread March 09, 2025 at 03:35 PM UTC #
hAtchsIde wrote:
Man nearly neck-deep in mud rescued along Mt. Vernon Trail



Ok which one of you was it??? Space?

That reminds me we haven’t heard about his puppy in forever!
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread March 09, 2025 at 04:14 PM UTC #
Kennedy Center to Replace “Hamilton” with New Musical, “Burr”


(Full disclosure this was from the borowitz report)
kosmo
Joined: September 23, 1999 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 16329
Re: The Great Headline thread March 11, 2025 at 07:26 PM UTC #
this made me LOL

Firmware update bricks HP printers, makes them unable to use HP cartridges
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread March 13, 2025 at 02:30 PM UTC #
It was no accident!
nkotb
Joined: August 15, 2001 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 6500
Re: The Great Headline thread March 13, 2025 at 03:45 PM UTC #


I'm going to get into politics!

hAtchsIde wrote:
It was no accident!
sweetcell
Joined: July 18, 2006 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 22608
Re: The Great Headline thread March 13, 2025 at 05:13 PM UTC #
hAtchsIde wrote:
It was no accident!

and where is the pro-2A "stand your ground" crowd now, huh?

"he was coming at me with a leash… i knew it was a vet visit… i barked at him to back away but he kept coming, so i exercised my dog-given right to not back down, he got what he deserved…"


it's as if their silence was some kind of a dog whistle
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread March 17, 2025 at 02:14 AM UTC #
Can A Robot Be a Priest?
jeffml
Joined: April 18, 2005 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 2267
Re: The Great Headline thread March 17, 2025 at 02:31 PM UTC #
Only if its been programmed to molest children.

hAtchsIde wrote:
Can A Robot Be a Priest?
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread March 17, 2025 at 03:13 PM UTC #
Virginia Zoo responds to gorilla escape rumors: 'we don't have those'

sweetcell
Joined: July 18, 2006 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 22608
Re: The Great Headline thread March 17, 2025 at 03:45 PM UTC #
hAtchsIde wrote:
Virginia Zoo responds to gorilla escape rumors: 'we don't have those'

well obviously they don't have any escaped gorillas: they've escaped, so by definition they aren't currently in the zoo.  duh.  people are dumb.
kosmo
Joined: September 23, 1999 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 16329
Re: The Great Headline thread March 25, 2025 at 01:51 PM UTC #
Depraved Factory Records guitarist dies behind bars



so i had to look this one up as the guitarist in question was in X-O-Dus the only reggae artists on the label.. he was jailed for sex offences

update he died in 2021 but details of it were released after an inquest hearing this year.
kosmo
Joined: September 23, 1999 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 16329
Re: The Great Headline thread March 25, 2025 at 10:02 PM UTC #
Woman slams selfish paragliders who ‘made her think Hamas were invading Doncaster’
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread March 26, 2025 at 08:15 PM UTC #
JA has a message for you whiney poors

jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: The Great Headline thread March 26, 2025 at 11:22 PM UTC #
I mean if you’re eating more than one meal a day, you’re putting on airs.
kosmo
Joined: September 23, 1999 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 16329
Re: The Great Headline thread March 30, 2025 at 11:21 AM UTC #
A lot to unpack here


Georgia bagpiper dies in Hawaii scuba accident days before missing son’s skeletal remains found in backyard treehouse
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: The Great Headline thread March 30, 2025 at 08:30 PM UTC #
Whoa, that requires multiple readings
Hutch
Joined: February 23, 2023 at 09:34 PM UTC
Posts: 6264
Re: The Great Headline thread March 30, 2025 at 08:43 PM UTC #
I lack the intestinal fortitude
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