The Great Headline thread

sweetcell wrote:
i think the US should buy argentina instead.  i mean, it's a failed state and those people can't handle money so clearly they need the help of someone who understands business, like trump.  how many times has that country collapsed in the past 50 years?  trump could buy it for pennies on the dollar, with the leftover change from purchasing greenland (a country with actual value, resources, etc.).  would make a nice addition to america's growing empire.

That’s like my dream.

PR should definitely be a state
Although there is a fairly large number of people there who don’t want to (but retain all the benefits they currently have)



I don’t know, but would gather Argentina has more resources than Greenland
They definitely have issues with their monetary policy


Would be interesting to see appraisals on but countries

The problem is Argentina is a 10 hour flight away and the cultural differences are substantial.

Canada is next door and the cultural difference far less although maybe we could trade Quebec for something else.

Unfortunately the US settled into this 50 state bullshit decades ago.

What’s odd is both HI and AK became states when Trump was a teen

TIL AZ and NM didn’t become a state until 1912!

OK was in 1907

Really didn’t know that we only had 45 states in 1906

Alabama Shakes leader Brittany Howard just played her first gig with her new hardcore band Kumite, and personally offended punk rock gatekeepers are already crying hot salty tears just thinking about it

nkotb wrote:
Lazio sack falconer after he gets penile implant ‘to increase sexual performance’ and shares explicit pictures

Buried the lede
Bernabe had previously been suspended by the club in 2021 after singing a pro-Mussolini song.

cadhatch wrote:
Alabama Shakes leader Brittany Howard just played her first gig with her new hardcore band Kumite, and personally offended punk rock gatekeepers are already crying hot salty tears just thinking about it

maybe Brittany has finally found her true passion, I always thought the Alabama Shakes to be posers and will never forget how people were fawning over how their second record was recorded lo-fi or some such…

Even better!

Soccer Team Fires Fascism-Loving Mascot Handler for Posting Fake Penis Pics on Social Media

nkotb wrote:
Lazio sack falconer after he gets penile implant ‘to increase sexual performance’ and shares explicit pictures

now this is what I call thinking outside the box

Mississippi Democrat Launches 'Contraception Begins at Erection Act

Democrat Bradford Blackmon's bill would make it "unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo."

and yes i'm annoyed at myself for the use of "thinking outside the box" here

Geez I feel our country is losing an IQ point per day!

That bill is next level trolling, if republicans are so eager and willing to pass bills to control what a women can do with her body then the same should be true for controlling what men can do with theirs.  And it also got the exactly the reaction from men, the author of the bill expected.  It does have an exception for the use of a condom and in vitro fertilization.  Quite frankly dems in other red states should be introducing an identical bill.

sometimes, hiding in plain sight doesn't work:

Florida Woman With Bag That Read 'Definitely Not A Bag Full Of Drugs' Arrested as Bag Was Indeed Full of Drugs

Women in court for aggressively farting at her boyfriend’s ex

Oh it gets better

A judge has let rip at a woman who admitted to sending videos of her breaking wind to her boyfriend’s ex.

Rhiannon Evans, 25, is believed to be the first person to ever face charges for cyber-farting over Christmas.

She sent the videos to Deborah Prytherech who said the videos caused her distress and anxiety.

This whole article is a masterpiece

Police got wind of what had happened and they followed through by arresting her and hauling her before the courts in Caernarfon.

https://metro.co.uk/2025/01/29/woman-charged-inappropriate-videos-uks-first-cyber-farting-case-22459049/

This story has totally made my day

Cross posting to the best words thread because someone clearly pulled out the thesaurus

ventosity

flatulence or its cause
pompous inflated conceit or boasting

As in

Evans’ ventosity ended up costing her nearly £300, including £100 compensation for her victim and £199 for court costs.

Also this

Evans will also have to carry out 15 rehabilitation sessions for her sphincter whistles and must abstain from alcohol for two months.

And yes scrappingforaihatch this happened in Wales

kosmo wrote:
And yes scrappingforaihatch this happened in Wales

I don't think all weird things happen in Wales, has more to do with unpronounceable 24 character words

for a breif moment I thought scrappingforaihatch  was a welsh word and it made me LOL, but alas you made it up


but
Sessions for her sphincter whistles
is my new band name or could be the title of the next ep

kosmo wrote:

ventosity

flatulence or its cause
pompous inflated conceit or boasting

Perfect word for describing the kind of arrogant attitudes expressed by Southern politicians. Even fits in with their propensity for using obscure multi-syllable words to appear educated.

Justin wrote:

kosmo wrote:

ventosity

flatulence or its cause
pompous inflated conceit or boasting

Perfect word for describing the kind of arrogant attitudes expressed by Southern politicians. Even fits in with their propensity for using obscure multi-syllable words to appear educated.

Governor Huey Long would be rolling in his grave at this hubristic assault at his brethren's Gothic verbosity! You slander Faulkner himself!

kosmo wrote:
Rhiannon Evans, 25, is believed to be the first person to ever face charges for cyber-farting over Christmas.

everyone knows that the correct holiday for farting is the fourth of july