When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

kosmo wrote:
U2 and Apple working on "Secret Project" to save the music industry

I have the scoop: its the iGlasses. Apple's version of Google Glass that automatically runs all guitar sounds through shitty effects pedals and poorly translates lyrics into Portuguese. Unlike Google Glass, they're permanently welded to your head so people know what a douche you are 24/7.

Bono's sentiment is a breath of fresh air compared to usual tech writers BS that all music should be free because all musicians make their touring and via t-Shirt sales.  There is no easy fix and Bono needs to take off the rose colored glasses.

kosmo wrote:
Bono's sentiment is a breath of fresh air compared to usual tech writers BS that all music should be free because all musicians make their touring and via t-Shirt sales. 

I agree with that completely but its obnoxious coming from a guy whose band makes half a billion per tour. I wish the Future Islands, and Death Cab For Cuties, and Waxahatchees had the courage to step up and talk about how music is damaged by file sharing and how it literally takes food out of their mouths.

But coming from Bono its just a total wank. Its like John Lennon singing "imagine no possessions," a song he wrote in his NYC penthouse that was retrofitted with a walk-in humidor for his fur coats. Its totally the wrong messenger.

Sidehatch wrote:
kid-rock-subpoenaed-to-produce-glass-dildo-as-evidence-in-insane-clown-posse-lawsuit

Shut it down. Thread over. It's all downhill from here. Nothing is more When Reality Reflects The Onion than that.

Woman turns herself in to get unflattering photo off police Facebook page

Don?t you just hate it when an unflattering photo of you ends up online?

So does Monica Hargrove, and she did what any of us might do: The 34-year-old called the person who had posted the offending image and asked that it be taken down.

But the person tagging her on Facebook wasn?t a friend. It was the Columbus police, who had a warrant for her arrest on an aggravated-robbery charge.

The division?s public-information team posted Hargrove?s mug shot on Sept. 10 on its Facebook page with a description of the charge: On Aug. 30, police said, she gave a friend a ride to a pharmacy to pick up a prescription and then robbed the friend.

Hargrove called police and said she wanted her picture taken off the page. The detective said sure, just come on down to headquarters. She did and was promptly locked up.

She since has been indicted on robbery, aggravated-robbery and kidnapping charges.

In the end, though, she did get her way: Her photo is gone from the Police Division?s Facebook page.

http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2014/10/07/vanity-carries-high-price-for-woman.html

I've a friend who is a police officer in NY and they very often make fake profiles of cute girls and track what 'perps' are up to. So be careful who ya 'friend'.  Still can't get JF to accept my invite :(

Sidehatch wrote:
I've a friend who is a police officer in NY and they very often make fake profiles of cute girls and track what 'perps' are up to. So be careful who ya 'friend'.  Still can't get JF to accept my invite :(

why would you want to be james fords FB friend? What about him makes you go "hey I would like more of this in another venue?" His crass, assholeish condescension?

Thank goodness the guy wasnt home or he might be dead.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/07/us/georgia-okra-marijuana-raid/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Julian, wrote:

Sidehatch wrote:
I've a friend who is a police officer in NY and they very often make fake profiles of cute girls and track what 'perps' are up to. So be careful who ya 'friend'.  Still can't get JF to accept my invite :(

why would you want to be james fords FB friend? What about him makes you go "hey I would like more of this in another venue?" His crass, assholeish condescension?

the irony was lost there….

Lab grown Penises ready to be tested

"The team has already engineered six human penises that are ready for transplantation…the researchers hope that they could be used all over the world to help people…"

anyone need some help?

Chris Pronger hired by NHL to oversee player safety, discipline

Are you fucking kidding me? This is tantamount to the NBA naming Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson Fan Experience Liasons.

Julian, wrote:
Chris Pronger hired by NHL to oversee player safety, discipline

Are you fucking kidding me? This is tantamount to the NBA naming Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson Fan Experience Liasons.

"Pronger during his playing career was among the more outspoken NHL players and was respected for his intelligent opinions on a number of matters."

this isn't a reflection of the Onion, this IS the Onion.  fucking hell.

sweetcell wrote:
his intelligent opinions on a number of matters…

TIL sociopathic grinning in response to press questions about your battery of countless other human beings constitutes "intelligent opinion on a number of matters".

that link is worth $10! ^^
or $15 worth of RB products

that link is worth millions to some law firm.

but yeay for us, $10!!!

i have never tasted red,bull.  am i missing, out?

walkonby wrote:
i have never tasted red,bull.  am i missing, out?

Its literally the worst drink I've ever tasted.