When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

beetsnotbeats wrote:
Loud Music Tricks Your Brain Into Thinking Alcohol is Delicious


Note: to self make sound person has me nice and loud during future DJ slots. Just doing my part to the beer flowing before the band hits the stage..
Newt campaign site asks: Where my dogs at?
http://www.hlntv.com/article/2012/01/13/newt-gingrich-pets-web-site

Sometimes there just aren't enough babies to kiss or hands to shake. That's when it's time to bust out the big guns:

Pets.

Lots and lots of cute, cuddly, maybe-if-you-look-at-them-long-enough-I-can-have-your-vote pets.

That's the basic logic behind Newt Gingrich's campaign launching "Pets With Newt," (http://petswithnewt.com/home/page) a fantastic little corner of the Internet for anyone who's ever wondered "Who are Newt Gingrich's supporters? And what do their pets look like?"

(Also a fantastic little corner of the Internet for anyone who just likes quirky timekillers and/or pet pics)

Gingrich fans are invited to submit photos of themselves with their pets to the site, along with "A sentence or two about what you like about Newt." Submissions aren't just automatically posted to the site, either – so don't waste your time dressing kitty up in a tiny "Romney 2012" shirt.

The animal-centric site also includes a list of the candidate's favorite zoos in America and informs us that "Newt and Callista (Gingrich) visit zoos and museums everywhere they go. Newt has visited nearly 100 zoos around the world."

So far there are photos up of cats, a parrot and various breeds of dogs. But guess what animal nobody has thought to submit a picture of yet?

Yeah – a newt.

Food containing fetuses targeted under new Oklahoma bill

You might think this is a story out of 'The Onion' but it is a real story.

An Oklahoma lawmaker files a bill to ban the making and selling of food or products that use aborted human fetuses.

State Senator Ralph Shortey says he's done research and found reports that companies have used stem cells in the research and development of food.

?I don?t know if it is happening in Oklahoma, it may be, it may not be.  What I am saying is that if it does happen then we are not going to allow it to manufacture here," says Shortey

The lawmaker that represents Oklahoma County couldn?t give any specific examples.

?There is a potential that there are companies that are using aborted human babies in their research and development of basically enhancing flavor for artificial flavors," says Shortey.

Some argue there has to be more to the proposed bill and believe it is a back door attempt to ban stem cell research.

Shortey says it is not, although he admits, he would support and vote for a ban on stem cell research in the state.

A number of food makers have denied the claims.
This is so weird that it took me about ten minutes of staring at this to even make the connection.

Given the amazing juxtaposition between Disney and Joy Division, I can't tell if this is the most amazing thing ever or the worst.  For sheer insanity, I'm leaning toward the former.

beetsnotbeats wrote:

i saw deadmau5 more than disney.

beetsnotbeats wrote:
beetsnotbeats wrote:
Food containing fetuses targeted under new Oklahoma bill




<wipes soda off monitor>
sweetcell wrote:

&lt;wipes soda off monitor&gt;


co-sign
nkotb wrote:
This is so weird that it took me about ten minutes of staring at this to even make the connection.

Given the amazing juxtaposition between Disney and Joy Division, I can&#039;t tell if this is the most amazing thing ever or the worst.&nbsp; For sheer insanity, I&#039;m leaning toward the former.

beetsnotbeats wrote:



the mickey/joy division shirt is no more (hence the broken link to the image above)
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/01/26/disney-pulls-joy-division-inspired-mickey-mouse-shirt/
sweetcell wrote:
nkotb wrote:
This is so weird that it took me about ten minutes of staring at this to even make the connection.

Given the amazing juxtaposition between Disney and Joy Division, I can&#039;t tell if this is the most amazing thing ever or the worst.&nbsp; For sheer insanity, I&#039;m leaning toward the former.

beetsnotbeats wrote:



the mickey/joy division shirt is no more (hence the broken link to the image above)
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/01/26/disney-pulls-joy-division-inspired-mickey-mouse-shirt/


Fact check fail: "The band?s bass player, Peter Hook, who now plays in New Order, spoke to NME about the shirt."
J.C. Penney slashing prices on all merchandise

This story wouldn't otherwise qualify for this thread if not for this passage:

Penney has been a laggard among department stores as its core middle-class customers are among the hardest hit by the weak economy. It&#039;s also failed to attract a younger, hip customer despite adding brands such as its Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen teen clothing collection. Its stores are described by some in the industry as &quot;boring.&quot;
should have stuck to beavers

sweetcell wrote:
best headline ever?

Gordon Ramsay&#039;s Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead in a Badger Den in Wales
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/weird/gordon-ramsays-dwarf-porn-double-found-dead-in-a-badger-den-in-wales/story-e6frev20-1226137951576
sweetcell wrote:
nkotb wrote:
This is so weird that it took me about ten minutes of staring at this to even make the connection.

Given the amazing juxtaposition between Disney and Joy Division, I can&#039;t tell if this is the most amazing thing ever or the worst.&nbsp; For sheer insanity, I&#039;m leaning toward the former.

beetsnotbeats wrote:



the mickey/joy division shirt is no more (hence the broken link to the image above)
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/01/26/disney-pulls-joy-division-inspired-mickey-mouse-shirt/

Atrocity Exhibition: 18 Dubious Uses for Joy Division
http://www.spin.com/gallery/atrocity-exhibition-18-dubious-uses-joy-division
Eel enters man's penis in spa treatment, is surgically removed


A Chinese man had to have an eel surgically removed from his bladder after a mishap while undergoing an unusual spa treatment.

Zhang Nan, a 56-year-old resident of Hubei province, was bathing with live eels, in the hopes that the tiny, serpentine critters would nibble away layers of dead skin, revealing more youthful-looking skin below.


It's similar to those unusual pedicures that have fish eat dead skin off people's feet – except that you're fully submerged, and you're probably naked, and there are eels all over you.

Anyway, Nan felt a sharp pain, realized a 6-inch eel had entered his penis and was wriggling up through his urethra. He tried to pull it out but its tiny body was too slippery to hold, and it disappeared up his penis and into his bladder, according to the story.

This, the writer points out, is not the first time such an incident has been described: A teenage boy had to undergo emergency surgery to remove a 0.79-inch fish that climbed into his urethra while he was holding it and urinating.

(Superfluous health advice of the day: Don't hold live animals while you're relieving yourself. No matter how good an idea it seems at the time.)

Freakish as this sort of accident sounds – and it is, of course – there's actually a particular type of fish that has a reputation for bladder-diving. According to a Kansas State page on parasitology, there are some types of parasitic catfishes in the Amazon (mostly in the genus Vandellia, and commonly called candiru) that have been known to invade the human urethra, often while humans are urinating into a body of water.

For the record, though, most men out there should be more worried about bacteria and viruses entering the urethra than eels doing so. For some perspective, here's a rundown from the Cleveland Clinic on some of other, more common conditions affecting the penis.

http://articles.latimes.com/2011/sep/16/news/la-heb-eel-penis-spa-urethra-20110916