930 Forums

When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 12, 2014 at 04:36 AM UTC #
See…Congress is racist!

A new provision was added requiring that food assistance to low income families include an explicit requirement for white potatoes.

omnibus bill makes it through congress

and as I predited the day DC voters passed it…house republicans will repeal it…by blocking new marijuana legalization bill in D.C.
I just hope the democrats got something good in return for that obvisous sacrificial lamb

but we picked the incandescent light-bulb over the sage grouse!
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 12, 2014 at 01:43 PM UTC #
Sidehatch wrote:
A new provision was added requiring that food assistance to low income families include an explicit requirement for white potatoes.
I, for one, appluad Congress for standing up and making their dislike of the local NFL team's name known.
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 12, 2014 at 02:37 PM UTC #
nice…didn't even see that angle!  they are a crafty bunch
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 15, 2014 at 07:50 PM UTC #
DeathFromAbove1979 wrote:
'Don't Jerk And Drive' Campaign Pulled

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/13/dont-jerk-and-drive_n_6319968.html

funny the related article at the bottom of that page was :
Robot Handjobs Are The Future, And The Future Is Coming

DeathFromAbove1979
Joined: November 29, 2006 at 06:01 AM UTC
Posts: 5038
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 16, 2014 at 02:37 PM UTC #
Sidehatch wrote:
DeathFromAbove1979 wrote:
'Don't Jerk And Drive' Campaign Pulled

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/13/dont-jerk-and-drive_n_6319968.html

funny the related article at the bottom of that page was :
Robot Handjobs Are The Future, And The Future Is Coming



..Coming…. Hard.
vansmack
Joined: October 04, 2001 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 19725
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 18, 2014 at 07:03 PM UTC #
POLICE: MAN LIT JOINT, UNDRESSED, AND DEFECATED INSIDE POLICE STATION

An Upper Darby man is facing charges after allegedly walking into a police station and lighting up a joint, then undressing, defecating on the floor, then smearing his waste on the walls.
RatBastard
Joined: January 07, 2003 at 06:01 AM UTC
Posts: 2955
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 19, 2014 at 05:47 AM UTC #
Julian, wrote:
Virginia State Senator gets charged with statutory rape and child pornography, pleads to delinquency of a minor, is sentenced to 6 months in jail, originally refuses to resign his seat before ultimately agreeing to do so, then announces plans to run for the seat he is vacating in the upcoming special election FROM JAIL.

Virginia, folks, Virginia.


Not saying that in this case it SHOULD be allowed by law, but anyone who has the legal right to run is more than welcome to do so.  The bigger question would be seeing if the voters in his district are as idiotic as the DC voters who put Berry back in as mayor!
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 19, 2014 at 01:41 PM UTC #
RatBastard wrote:
The bigger question would be seeing if the voters in his district are as idiotic as the DC voters who put Berry back in as mayor!
Look how gerrymandered the districts are. They probably will! And I made the Marion Berry comparison to someone on FB yesterday, good call.
ggw
Joined: December 16, 2001 at 06:01 AM UTC
Posts: 14237
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 19, 2014 at 02:09 PM UTC #
I thought the age of consent in Virginia was 15.

Where's vansmack?
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 19, 2014 at 02:23 PM UTC #
ggw wrote:
I thought the age of consent in Virginia was 15.

Where's vansmack?
It's 18 with a Romeo and Juliet clause for 15-17.
kmdobrz
Joined: February 10, 2000 at 06:01 AM UTC
Posts: 3373
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 19, 2014 at 02:59 PM UTC #
vansmack wrote:
POLICE: MAN LIT JOINT, UNDRESSED, AND DEFECATED INSIDE POLICE STATION

An Upper Darby man is facing charges after allegedly walking into a police station and lighting up a joint, then undressing, defecating on the floor, then smearing his waste on the walls.


'Higgs was taken to a mental health facility where it was determined that he was high on drugs.'

Shocker.
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 29, 2014 at 04:41 PM UTC #
excellent!
I'm sure Hutch will get a kick out of this

"According to Argentinian folklore, the seventh son born to a family turns into the feared ?el lobison?.

The werewolf-like creature shows its true nature on the first Friday after boy?s 13th birthday, the legend says, turning the boy into a demon at midnight during every full moon, doomed to hunt and kill before returning to human form.

As well as feeding on excrement, unbaptized babies, and the flesh of the recently dead, the lobison was said to be unnaturally strong and able to spread its curse with a bite.

Fear of the lobison was so rife in 19th Century Argentina that some families abandoned or even murdered baby boys ? an atrocity that sparked the unusual Presidential practice of adoption, aimed at stopping the deadly stigma.

Starting in 1907, the tradition was formally established by a decree in 1973 by Juan Domingo Peron, which also extended the practice to baby girls."


So nice of Peron to include the girls too!
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) December 29, 2014 at 04:45 PM UTC #
Sidehatch® wrote:
So nice of Peron to include the girls too!
Equality.
← Back to board