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When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) June 08, 2015 at 06:28 PM UTC #
beets, been meaning to thank you for @_FloridaMan
freakin comedy gold.
Had me crying the other night
Only in Florida!
beetsnotbeats
Joined: April 26, 2002 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 5756
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) June 08, 2015 at 06:44 PM UTC #
^^Welcome!

This next one could go here or the food or Smackie threads:

This Pizza Hut box turns into a movie projector
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) June 12, 2015 at 06:14 PM UTC #
Sidehatch wrote:
beets, been meaning to thank you for @_FloridaMan
freakin comedy gold.
Had me crying the other night
Only in Florida!


just came across @flor1dawoman
man, I couldn't make up funnier lines if I tried


Florida Woman Calls 911 to Complain About Drug Dealer Not Delivering Weed
Police Tase Blood-Soaked, Naked Florida Woman Claiming to be Both God and Satan
Florida Woman Arrested for Driving Drunk While Breastfeeding
Florida Woman Intentionally Poops in Patrol Car Following Arrest 
Florida Woman Seen Shoplifting in ?Won?t Be Caught? T-Shirt
Florida Woman Files Motion to "Fuck This Court and Everything That it Stands For"
Florida Woman Covers Husband in Barbecue Sauce, Threatens to Carve Him Up Like Roast Chicken Florida Woman Breaks Suddenly For Squirrel, One Dead
Florida Woman Kicks Cop in Groin, Offers to Kiss it Better
Florida Woman Texts While Walking, Walks Into Moving Freight Train 
Florida Woman Says She Stripped Naked at Dunkin Donuts as Part of Initiation Into Dance Troupe Florida Woman Grabs Rapper's Dreadlocks, Smashes Him in Face With Tricycle
Florida Woman Leaves 3 y/o Daughter in Liquor Store So She Can Go Help Boyfriend Who Just Accidentally Shot Himself
Traffic Stopped by Naked Florida Woman Climbing on Cars, Masturbating in Middle of Road
vansmack
Joined: October 04, 2001 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 19725
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) June 12, 2015 at 07:04 PM UTC #
beets wrote:
^^Welcome!

This next one could go here or the food or Smackie threads:

This Pizza Hut box turns into a movie projector


I can't imagine the lumens being enough but, sure I'll try that.
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) July 08, 2015 at 01:44 PM UTC #
grateful wrote:
Cat terrorist terrorizes town

http://gothamist.com/2015/07/07/cat_terrorizing_upstate_town.php

This quote is classic

A black cat has been attacking and terrorizing residents of a Rockland County town, as part of an ongoing effort among animals to destroy humankind and return the Northeast to its rightful furry owners.


Although the link to this article made me smile Human Flesh-Craving Squirrels Are Attacking MTA Workers
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) July 08, 2015 at 02:15 PM UTC #
Britney Spears' music used by British navy to scare off Somali pirates

Merchant naval officer Rachel Owens explained the tactics to Metro: "Her songs were chosen by the security team because they thought the pirates would hate them most. These guys can't stand western culture or music, making Britney's hits perfect. As soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney, they move on as quickly as they can."
walk,on,by
Joined: Unknown
Posts: 0
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) July 10, 2015 at 03:58 PM UTC #
he is only one man . . . what do you want for him to do; become jesus and change the world in the blink of an eye?  change takes time, which takes money, which takes patience, which takes hope, which take faith, which takes a chance to try.
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: When reality reflects The Onion (redux) July 10, 2015 at 05:09 PM UTC #
Boyband member collapses on flight after wearing all his clothes to avoid extra luggage costs

"The woman said either one bag went in the hold or we weren't getting on. The rest of the band had gone through so I couldn't give them any of the clothes. I was told I?d either have to pay a £45 fee to get it on the plane, get the flight the next morning, bin the clothes or wear them." In all, McElvar wore six T-shirts, five jumpers, three pairs of jeans, two sweat pants, two jackets and two hats.
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