When reality reflects The Onion (redux)

chaz wrote:

RatBastard wrote:

chaz wrote:

RatBastard wrote:

beetsnotbeats wrote:
Staples Center in Los Angeles to Go Vegetarian for Morrissey Concert

Idiocy at its best

why?

For the same reason it would be stupid to require everyone at a Joe Jackson show to smoke the entire show.

Oh…NOW I understand.

Finally

Slash vs. Eddie Van Halen Argument Lands Cleveland Couple in Jail

http://www.spin.com/#articles/cleveland-couple-arrested-slash-eddie-van-halen-guitarist

EDIT: double post, I didn't see this article ON THIS SAME DAMN PAGE ALREADY, how do I delete!? :(

Hooters theft ends up with a big surprise for a couple of boobs

http://m.now.msn.com/jukebox-not-atm-stolen-from-san-diego-hooters

The two young thieves who broke into a San Diego Hooters used a truck with a tow strap to wrench what they likely thought was an ATM machine out of the lobby of the chain breastaraunt. But when they got the free-standing machine home, they were probably sad to see it wasn't stuffed with stacks of bills. Instead, it was full of the greatest hits of the ?80s and ?90s, because they stole the Hooter?s juke box. Police are pretty sure the thieves thought it was an ATM. (Because thanks to mp3 players, unless you?re an uncle with a billiards room you don?t need a jukebox.) Sucks to be you, dummies! Enjoy the Lynyrd Skynyrd.

there is footage to boot

http://www.10news.com/news/police-thieves-stole-jukebox-from-rancho-bernardo-hooters-thought-it-was-atm

'Marijuana cannon' used to fire drugs over US border seized in Mexico
Compressed-air gun mounted on truck could throw 13-kilo packets over fence into California
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/feb/27/marijuana-cannon-us-border-seized-mexico

they say marijuana can't kill you… i bet getting hit upside the head with 13 keys will.

sweetcell wrote:
'Marijuana cannon' used to fire drugs over US border seized in Mexico
Compressed-air gun mounted on truck could throw 13-kilo packets over fence into California
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/feb/27/marijuana-cannon-us-border-seized-mexico

they say marijuana can't kill you… i bet getting hit upside the head with 13 keys will.

This is old news, isn't it? I know this article is new but there was a story like this about a year ago. Would assume it's the same incident; then again, I don't know.

Good story, none the less.

Right now, I'm just hoping that the new bill proposed by a Baltimore City politician goes through and passes to legalize marijuana in Maryland. The tax is waaaay too hight though. Can't remember his name off-hand. Curt something or other. I use to know his sister when I was teaching. (A real pain in the ass.)

Hey, Az. Might be time for us to get our recipes together for Club 4:20.  8)

Man who stole woman's iPhone accidentally posts pic of himself smoking weed on her Facebook page.

http://www.happyplace.com/22024/iphone-thief-posts-pic-of-self-smoking-weed-on-victims-facebook-page

Really?  "Post-Mumfords" is a device RS uses to describe music? 

http://live.huffingtonpost.com/#r/archive/segment/david-lee-roth-on-insuring-his-penis/5152b5d578c90a38b1000013

David Lee Roth Insures His Penis

Prostitute who ?died? during romp came back to life in coffin

Includes a good collection of comments.  ;D

headline of the year:

Penguins summon Satan

click for the story...

Our schools are failing our future bank robbers:

Police say robber tried, failed to rob two banks three blocks apart

The words on his robbery note were spelled incorrectly, authorities said, and he was unable to articulate his demands. So the confused teller at the downtown Washington bank turned the man away, saying she couldn?t help.

The FBI says the man didn?t fare much better at a second bank three blocks away. There, authorities said, it took the teller a few moments to realize the man standing at her window on April 1 was not a customer.

?Oh my God, are we getting robbed?? the teller said, according to an affidavit filed in federal court.

cont.

Only in Tennessee, which begs the question does it really belong in this thread.

Former Tenn. Lawmaker Allegedly Drove 90 MPH While Masturbating Out Window

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/tenn-lawmaker-allegedly-drove-90-mph-while-masturbating

"Recalling dozens of complaints in recent years, Terry Christian, a Kingsport detective, told WJHL that Blakely's behavior has gone on "for so long an (sic) nobody's addressed it."

Apparently, this is real: Amanda Palmer's "A Poem for Dzhokhar" Is the Worst Poem of All Time

It's too bad that he's going to be in jail for the rest of his life because now he can't transfer his wealth to Ms. Palmer.

App lets you order pizza and play video games

(USA TODAY) – Call it the ultimate multi-task for any Millennial: order a pizza and play a video game - essentially at the same time.

On Tuesday, Pizza Hut and Xbox Live maker Microsoft will announce plans to introduce a game-changing ordering app that allows gamers to purchase physical goods - in this case, anything on the Pizza Hut menu - right from the gaming counsel.

Just pause the game, and order.

For Pizza Hut, it's about reaching out to its hard-to-reach target - young men 18 to 24 - where they live and play. For Microsoft, it's a nifty way of cosmically expanding the virtual world into something far closer to the real world. And for consumers, well, we'll just have to wait and see how folks respond.

One expert thinks it could be huge.

continued….

beetsnotbeats wrote:


Apparently, this is real: Amanda Palmer's "A Poem for Dzhokhar" Is the Worst Poem of All Time

It's too bad that he's going to be in jail for the rest of his life because now he can't transfer his wealth to Ms. Palmer.

How is that the worst poem of all time? 

kosmo wrote:
Former Tenn. Lawmaker Allegedly Drove 90 MPH While Masturbating Out Window

I hope people realize how impressive that is.

i've never been able to pull it off over 60 mph.

sweetcell wrote:
i've never been able to pull it off over 60 mph.

Exactly.  Masturbating at high speeds, no problem.  Out the window?!  Tip of the cap, my friend…