Things Smackie Thinks You Need to Know...

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
his wife is the main breadwinner.

Not yet, and not for 4 more years actually. Residents don't get paid that much. But someday…

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:

Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
Vansmack, I just have to ask. And don't take this the wrong way. After all, I myself am the guy who has 15K posts or something like that. But mine are mostly one line gibbersish comments fired off while I'm awaiting the results of a program I wrote, or something like that.

But do you have a job where you actually do work? Or is writing well conceived analyses about just about any topic under the sun part of your daily workload?

He lives in San Francisco and his wife (who allows him to go to strip clubs) is the main breadwinner. They don't let you into San Francisco with being able to "write well conceived analyses about just about any topic under the sun." They're not as tolerant as you think.

heh, you should see my analysis of bert blyleven's hall of fame voting progress and the liklihood of his induction over the next 4 years. which preceded a lengthly analysis of san francisco's Proposition A.

if only the local politburo had known what they let in. . .

Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
But do you have a job where you actually do work? Or is writing well conceived analyses about just about any topic under the sun part of your daily workload?

The answer is both, actually. I am the consummate multi-tasker. I wrote the Pakistan piece last night, but really have been working on it in my head since Dec 27. I spent about 5 minutes on it this morning cleaning up the email I sent myself, but not much else (which is why it has typos). The China thing I developed this morning while loading up on the morning news. I spend the first 30-60 minutes of my day gathering news (my job), and then spent about 2 minutes writing that little blip on China.

While I would normally throw out putting folks into categories, I am known in my dept as a "lower right quadrant" guy. We all took this test as part of a staff retreat, and if you're familiar with the work of David A. Kolb (the educator, not the philosopher), I would be what is described as more of an abstract conceptualizationist mixed with reflective observation. 3%-5% of Americans would fit into this category. (I should put that test together for folks on the board to see where you fall in this analysis as I feel it's been one of the best descriptors of me ever.)

Anyhow, big words aside, this means that I love details, learn by thinking through ideas, absorb information, am driven by intellect, etc., etc. In practice, this means I don't talk much at meetings, process everything in the room (both the information, where it's coming from and who it's being said to - sometimes down to body language - always watch the eyes!), reflect on it for a while with other information I've gathered, then report my analysis to my team, usually accompanied with a big idea.

Not unlike this board, rarely will a day go buy that I don't send my education coworkers an email about something they think is not related to education (my most recent example is hydrogen fueling plants) and then a week or two later when we gather for a staff meeting I'll have some big idea for curriculum or practical idea about how we can tie a shortage of hydrogen fueling stations in the Bay Area into our work here at the university. Usually, I hadn't thought it out yet, but I knew it was important when I saw it.

Posts on politics, well, that's my job. I handle Government Relations for a university. If we're ahead of the nation, state and city, our job is a lot easier. Usually the stuff you see here on politics is similar to emails I've sent my colleagues (so it's cut and paste).

The foreign policy bent is obviously a hold over from my previous job (I'm also an occasional guest lecturer in our International Relations dept.). While not officially part of my job, I was once asked to share a lecture I gave to students, and that has turned into an email I send out with my thoughts on the hot topics in the rest of the world to our dept. Some of those I simply reprint here.

My posts on tech, well, I'm a self admitted tech dork. I'm always asked to fix something or recommend a new something by friends and colleagues, so I keep up on that stuff.

So yes, I have a job where I do actual work, the majority of which I spend thinking and analyzing higher ed policy and politics, and go off topic often. My employer tolerates it because I'm well known to send my ideas in the middle of the night (I never stop thinking really, with at least one side of my brain).

One question I have yet to answer (but have been thinking about) is why I chose this particular venue to share the majority of my thoughts despite having a blog of my own. I don't know - perhaps I enjoy the diversity of the audience here. Perhaps I just feel comfortable with all the people. I might never know. Part of it is surely the fact that this web site is not picked up by search engines. I enjoy (virtual) anonymity.

(by the way, I wrote this while eating my lunch)

All of that and you still have to ask your wife's permission to go to a strip club.

Brian

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
All of that and you still have to ask your wife's permission to go to a strip club.

Brian

Which part of "allow does not compute in our household" do you struggle with? You still have this idea of all of your self-described miserable married redneck friends from PA. Not all marraiges are that way. Many are based on mutual respect, a concept I no doubt understand that you struggle with.

I need permission to do one thing from my wife: drink whiskey.

She's tired of cleaning up the mess I leave behind when I imbibe the brown alcohol. Even I don't like "Whiskey Vansmack" as my friends have taken to calling me. He's a bigger asshole than the sober one that posts here.

Don't you think you're disrespecting your wife when you're ogling other women? I'm sure she thinks she's being hip, cool, and progressive by putting up with it with a cutesy smile on her face. But what woman really enjoys sharing the affections of her man with others?

Originally posted by vansmack:

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
All of that and you still have to ask your wife's permission to go to a strip club.

Brian

Which part of "allow does not compute in our household" do you struggle with? You still have this idea of all of your self-described miserable married redneck friends from PA. Not all marraiges are that way. Many are based on mutual respect, a concept I no doubt understand that you struggle with.

I need permission to do one thing from my wife: drink whiskey.

She's tired of cleaning up the mess I leave behind when I imbibe the brown alcohol. Even I don't like "Whiskey Vansmack" as my friends have taken to calling me. He's a bigger asshole than the sober one that posts here.

Originally posted by Charlie Nakatestes,Japanese Golfer:
Don't you think you're disrespecting your wife when you're ogling other women?

No, but you have clearly stated that you do.

Thankfully, I'm not married to you.

quit working so hard and post more about the prem

Originally posted by vansmack:
â??U2 3Dâ? Premieres at New York Screening; Everybody Besides Jay-Z Impressed

Seeing this on the 25th. Can't wait.

Originally posted by vansmack:
Not all marraiges are that way. Many are based on mutual respect, a concept I no doubt understand that you struggle with.

My prediction is….August 2011. Your marriage? R.I.P. By that time, she'll be a full-fledged doctor and won't have to put up with your pompous, long-winded bullshit. Your cuteness will have well worn off by then but you may be able to snag some naive grad student.

If I'm wrong and you're still together by then, I'll buy you a copy of "McSweeney's" and a triple skim, latte, blah, blah, whatever you drink.

Brian

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
My prediction is….August 2011. Your marriage? R.I.P. By that time, she'll be a full-fledged doctor and won't have to put up with your pompous, long-winded bullshit. Your cuteness will have well worn off by then but you may be able to snag some naive grad student.

If I'm wrong and you're still together by then, I'll buy you a copy of "McSweeney's" and a triple skim, latte, blah, blah, whatever you drink.

Brian

For the record, I already get McSweeney's and I don't drink coffee, but you're on for a Playboy and a Mountain Dew.

If Smackette does tire of my "pompous longwinded…cuteness", so be it. I will at least have had 5 years of pure joy, something I know you'll never have.

Less arguing, more Mexico story-telling.

Originally posted by vansmack:
For the record, I already get McSweeney's and I don't drink coffee, but you're on for a Playboy and a Mountain Dew.

If Smackette does tire of my "pompous longwinded…cuteness", so be it. I will at least have had 5 years of pure joy, something I know you'll never have.

Originally posted by nkotb:
Less arguing, more Mexico story-telling.

I'm almost done and should be able to finish it up at lunch. I must say, all the hype means this story is bound to flop.

Originally posted by vansmack:
Toyota Makes a 2010 Pledge for plug-in Hybrid

Green is the theme at the Detroit Auto Show

And GM Announces a Deal with Coskata, a start-up that makes Ethanol from garbage.

Originally posted by ggwâ?¢:

Originally posted by vansmack:
Sweetie, did you tell them about the time you and I went to a strip club in Mexico?? Now THAT was a good story.

We're waiting…..

Alright, I canâ??t believe I havenâ??t told you guys this story â?? Iâ??ve probably alluded to it but never told the full version.

So while Smackette and I were awaiting all of our worldly possessions to be transported from DC to SF (July 03), we took a week long vacation in Mexico with my family. On our way to dinner one night in Puerto Nuevo, we noticed a new strip club had opened up by the house we stay at. After dinner, my sister and her husband and Mmackette and I all decided that we MUST check this out. We were pretty sure it was going to be the most disgusting place weâ??d ever been, but the curiosity got the best of us.

Apparently we had gotten there a little before the crowd arrives as there was only one other group in the joint, and no ladies working the crowd. Mind you, it was about 10pm on a Friday night. We ordered a pitcher of margaritas and waited for the show to start, but no one was on stage. A little bit of a broo-ha-ha started between the manager and the female bartender and she reluctantly went up on stage and stripped. In my little ability to speak spanish, she was upset and apparently had taken the bartender job so she could stop stripping. That and she was pissed that whomever was supposed to be there was late. For the record, she probably should have stopped stripping years ago.

So we had been there for about 45 minutes and a second Latina gets on stage. While slightly better looking than the first (which isnâ??t saying much), she was as disinterested as the first stripper. The place was a little more crowded now (weâ??re the only Americans), but still not much going on as far as the entertainment. At this point, my sister decided to take matters into her own hands and walks up to the manager and asks the manager if she can go on stage. There was bit of a language barrier at first, but she walked over to the stage and motioned that she wanted to get up there. He asked her to wait a second. At some point while my sister was negotiating with the manager, a small group of young 20-something American guys walked in, most clearly after a long day of surfing. They sat down at the table next to ours. Finally, the manager came back out with the rest of the male staff from the back, and then motioned that now was the appropriate time for her to get on stage.

So my sister gets up on stage and proceeds to strip for the crowd. To say that this was the most awkward moment in my life would not be an understatement. Between her on stage and the realization that she was all too comfortable on the pole for this to be her first time were enlightening moments for me. At first I didnâ??t think she would go through with it â?? dancing and spinning around are one thing, but would she really take her clothes off? Well, the short answer is yes. As soon as she started undoing her bathing suit top, I stopped watching. As Smackette reports, she was up there with nothing on but her panties for at least a song and a half, strutting her stuff around the stage.

After her show, she put her clothes back on, collected her money and came back over to our table. While we joked about what just happened, the guys at the table next to us asked my sister if they could buy her a drink. She said, â??I donâ??t know, youâ??ll have to ask my husband.â? The guy had a puzzled look on his face and apologized saying he didnâ??t realize….

My brother in law, to his credit, said â??Donâ??t apologize to me â?? thatâ??s her brother over thereâ? motioning towards me. Now, Iâ??ve seen a lot of faces in the Pantheon of Great Faces before, but if I could have a picture of the look on that guys face when I gave him the â??whatâ??s upâ? nod, I would have the greatest avatar in the history of avatars. He went back to his table and tried to explain the situation to his buddies. They eventually bought us a pitcher of margaritas and joined us at our table for a while as we waited for the entertainment, which was sporadic at best for the rest of the night. We ended up surfing with them the next day where we told them about the rumors of the donkey bar in Tijuana. They set out for the Donkey Bar that evening and weâ??ve never heard from them since.

thats just wrong

another great vansamck story

Originally posted by vansmack:
So my sister gets up on stage and proceeds to strip for the crowd. To say that this was the most awkward moment in my life would not be an understatement.

i can only imagine… but, as hard as this might be for you to believe, i think that i have a story from a latin american strip club that is equally if not more cringe-inducing. maybe i'll stumble home drunk one night and decide that it's a good idea to share.

That's totally f'ed up. I mean, once you realized your sister was stripping, you could have left, right? Wasn't the place you were staying at right next door? They didn't lock the doors did they? I know you didn't look but you DID willingly stay in a strip club where your sister was stripping, no? No wonder you're the way you are.

Brian