Things Smackie Thinks You Need to Know...

Mad Men's made me want to step up my clothing situation.

Agreed…and to that, I'll drink during work and smoke. Honest to god, smoking really does LOOK cool!

thirsty wrote:
Mad Men's made me want to step up my clothing situation.

If I ever have a daughter and she wants to play with tools, I will call her a lesbian… JUST LIKE JANUARY JONES DID!!

I'll comment on this discussion in a little while, but righg now I've got bigger problems…

Last night sweetcell visited my lovely city and we got housed on a bottle of wine and a few glasses on top of that.  I woke up in a panic this morning because I'm pretty sure I fucked up the tip.  Smackette usually handles the tip, but she wasn't there last night. I'm not cheap, I'm just an idiot, and that idiocy is amplified when I'm drunk. In my defense, I was also distracted by some ugly chick who took issue with something I said, though even now I have no idea what it was. I maintain my innocence.

Anyway, what's the proper protocol to handle this tip situation?

vansmack wrote:
Anyway, what's the proper protocol to handle this tip situation?

Call the restaurant and ask…..if you did stiff 'em, its easy to make amends AND you'll probably end up getting special treatment for as long as you go there….

Since there's no website for stuff like this….

TEXTSFROMTHISMORNING

6:41AM Smackie: Did I get you back to Caltrain last night?
7:07AM Sweetcell: Yup.  Unfortunately, passed out and woke up in San Jose.  Good time.
7:11AM Smackie: No shit! Was it early enough to take a train back or did you have to cab it?
7:34AM Sweetcell: Had to cab it.  Kind of tired right now.  That girl from the bar last night was ridiculous.
7:38AM Smackie: I'm pretty sure I fucked up the tip - not my strong suit.  I'm thinking of sending Mrs. Venerable down to rectify.  Whiskey is not good for me…Sorry about the cab ride.  Next time you stay in the city.
7:42AM Sweetcell: Whiskey is awesome for you!  I may currently be the least productive meeting attendee EVAR.  Getting knowing looks.
7:46AM Smackie: You're welcome.
8:19AM Sweetcell: Today is about to suck.
8:20AM Sweetcell: Confirmed.
8:21AM Smackie:  I'm about to drive.  This might not be a good idea.
8:50AM Sweetcell: Just had a flashback from last night: got to Caltrain with 20 minutes to spare so I crossed the street and got some sake.  Not too proud of that decision right now.
9:49AM Director: So I pose this question to you…which one of you feels more like shit today?  Cause when I talked to Smackie last night at like 10:30 y'all were WASTED.
10:46AM Smackie: We talked?  No shit…
1047AM Director: WASTED.

hahaha

about a month ago i was at my local and had a few too many. i remembered paying but when i woke up the next morning still clothed, i had the receipt i filled out still in my pants (the numbers were not really legible)

they tacked on a well deserved fat tip

if theres a way for a drunk to screw up a bill, i'm sure theyve seen it before

vansmack wrote:
In my defense, I was also distracted by some ugly chick who took issue with something I said, though even now I have no idea what it was. I maintain my innocence.

you were innocent.  she was an attention-whore, desperate for validation.  she came barging in and acted rude, you called her out on it, she started bitching and calling you a meanie, you apologized at which point her eyes lit up a la "oh gosh so you like me?  you really actually like me?!?", to which you answered "no", which brought her right back to her bitchy mood.  i too forget exactly what you said, but it was a very valid observation and she was asking for it.

that text message thread is EPIC.  thanks for putting it together, as a whole it's quite an oeuvre.  i would however like to point out that i didn't make all those typos.  even when hung over my texting is impeccable. 

sweetcell wrote:
you were innocent.  she was an attention-whore, desperate for validation.  she came barging in and acted rude, you called her out on it, she started bitching and calling you a meanie, you apologized at which point her eyes lit up a la "oh gosh so you like me?  you really actually like me?!?", to which you answered "no", which brought her right back to her bitchy mood.  i too forget exactly what you said, but it was a very valid observation and she was asking for it.

This is my story and I'm sticking too it.  Whiskey Smackie is the KING of not remembering things…

And the typos are all mine.  I was in a hurry to get them up before I went to a meeting.  And I want to flash my phone.  It's a problem, I know.

tequila sweetcell will challenge you for that crown.  i really need to stay away from the stuff.

we were billed for 2 tequila shots that neither of us remember consuming.  it was that kind of a night.

sweetcell wrote:
tequila sweetcell will challenge you for that crown.  i really need to stay away from the stuff.

we were billed for 2 tequila shots that neither of us remember consuming.  it was that kind of a night.

My head tells me we didn't have those shots, but my stomach is telling me we did.

i never look at the drink breakdown. why? because when there are like 15 beers on there, and every one else is drinking cocktails you feel worse than you need to

Wowie wow wow. That sounds epic.

Julian, wrote:
Wowie wow wow. That sounds epic.

yeah. . .sounds really epic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Venerable wrote:

Julian, wrote:
Wowie wow wow. That sounds epic.

yeah. . .sounds really epic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I was waiting for this…

It was spur of the moment (I didn't even have time to change out of my suit…) and you will be included next time.  Make sure you have some time set aside in two weeks.

What a puss…my friends were afraid to throw me one because they were afraid they couldn't meet my expectations and Lamar Odom is afriad of going on his.  Puss.  Puss. Puss.

Lamar Odom Calls the Whole Thing Off
Posted Sep 24th 2009 9:33PM by TMZ Staff

TMZ has learned Lamar Odom has backed out of his bachelor party – which Joe Francis and Khloe Kardashian's brother Rob were supposed to hold tonight.

Odom tells TMZ:

"I am extremely thankful to Joe Francis and Rob Kardashian, for agreeing to host my bachelor party this evening at Hollywood hot spot Les Deux.

I regret, I will have to cancel this event because I have now decided to have a private dinner with my teammates, a few close friends and of course Joe Francis and Rob Kardashian."

Sorry, but no stripper poles and "midgets" tonight.

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2009/09/24/lamar-odom-khloe-kardashian-/#ixzz0S8zpjz7X

The Grooler is $125.



And they're sold out.

i'll admit, i was wondering if that thing was for real. but i have 2 grills and 3 coolers, so i dont see the point

this is not a new thing.  the thermos fire and ice grill was out years before.  it seems to have been discontinued, though.

I got my ALDS tickets today for games one and two.  And I probably can't even go…