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random . . . randomness

jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: random . . . randomness November 04, 2015 at 03:27 PM UTC #
Space wrote:
Carlos wrote:
DeathFromAbove1979 wrote:
I think Cosmo follows me on Twitter,
I follow Cosmo on twitter, mostly for the suggestions on how to drive my man wild in bed.


It's a shame those spelling jokes wouldn't translate to standup. Or would they?
Well, I mean, they're homonyms still but I think the issue would be moreso the narrow relatability of knowing a dude with the online handle of Kosmo.
Space Freely
Joined: December 13, 2014 at 07:28 PM UTC
Posts: 11019
Re: random . . . randomness November 04, 2015 at 03:41 PM UTC #
Carlos wrote:
Space wrote:
Carlos wrote:
DeathFromAbove1979 wrote:
I think Cosmo follows me on Twitter,
I follow Cosmo on twitter, mostly for the suggestions on how to drive my man wild in bed.


It's a shame those spelling jokes wouldn't translate to standup. Or would they?
Well, I mean, they're homonyms still but I think the issue would be moreso the narrow relatability of knowing a dude with the online handle of Kosmo.


Along the same lines, I think ggw is arguably at his best when he's making fun of you, me, or other boardies. I'm now sure how well that would translate to a mitzvah in Rockville.
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: random . . . randomness November 04, 2015 at 03:44 PM UTC #
Please direct me to these (non-drug-addled) GGW posts that AREN'T snarky comments about others? I must have missed that thread.
Relaxer
Joined: October 15, 2001 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 5410
Re: random . . . randomness November 04, 2015 at 03:44 PM UTC #
The other night I was enjoying some tortilla chips and queso dip. My son snuck in and slyly stuck his dirty-ass finger into the dip and I thundered "HEY THAT'S NACHO CHEESE" and after a few seconds of staring ahead like an idiot he laughed hysterically and said that was the funniest thing he'd heard in a while and I asked him what it was like to be retarded and he just laughed again.
Relaxer
Joined: October 15, 2001 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 5410
Re: random . . . randomness November 04, 2015 at 03:45 PM UTC #
Hey, let's get GGW to tell the story again about how Gwyneth Paltrow wanted to ingest his goo.
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: random . . . randomness November 04, 2015 at 03:46 PM UTC #
Relaxer wrote:
Hey, let's get GGW to tell the story again about how Gwyneth Paltrow wanted to ingest his goo.
She had sex with the milquetoast goob better known as Chris Martin. Story checks out, guys.
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: random . . . randomness November 04, 2015 at 03:51 PM UTC #
Carlos wrote:
Relaxer wrote:
Hey, let's get GGW to tell the story again about how Gwyneth Paltrow wanted to ingest his goo.
She had sex with the milquetoast goob better known as Chris Martin. Story checks out, guys.

that's a twist I wasn't expecting GGW=Chris Martin
<BOOM>
ggw
Joined: December 16, 2001 at 06:01 AM UTC
Posts: 14237
Re: random . . . randomness November 04, 2015 at 04:00 PM UTC #
I'm working on some new material about the time I dropped acid in Harry Reid's kitchen.  Needless to say, none of you will be on the guest list for my three night stand at The Laugh Factory.
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: random . . . randomness November 04, 2015 at 04:09 PM UTC #
ggw wrote:
I&#039;m working on some new material about the time I dropped acid in Harry Reid&#039;s kitchen.&nbsp; Needless to say, none of you will be on the guest list for my three night stand at The Laugh Factory.

be sure to bring some Quaaludes for the groupies

Was it from Harry's personal stash or did you bring your own
ggw
Joined: December 16, 2001 at 06:01 AM UTC
Posts: 14237
Re: random . . . randomness November 04, 2015 at 04:09 PM UTC #
Relaxer wrote:
Hey, let&#039;s get GGW to tell the story again about how Gwyneth Paltrow wanted to ingest his goo.


So then I said, &quot;if you buy me any more drinks, we may end up unconciously coupling….&quot;
sweetcell
Joined: July 18, 2006 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 22608
Re: random . . . randomness November 05, 2015 at 03:29 PM UTC #
Carlos wrote:
Man leaves out full-size candy bars for Halloween with sign asking people to please be responsible in what they take, children all take 1 or 2, hambeast mother cleans him out.

But, no fatshaming should ever be done. . .

OMG I FOUND NOT ONE BUT MANY VIDEOS OF THIN PEOPLE STEALING!!! PEOPLE WITH BMI OF LESS THAN 25 ARE THE SCOURGE OF SOCIETY - THERE ARE MORE VIDEOS OF THIN THIEVES THAN OF FAT ONES THIS IS SUPER SCIENTIFIC!!!!!!!!!!!!111

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Uu3fM4uXQQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e0Fb7qFYmU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQDFv2TSvOg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuwzIMpHqXc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz-KjUepukk
etc.

AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE STICK FIGURES IN JANES ADDICTION THEY WERE ALL CAUGHT STEALING ROUND THEM UP AND FRY 'EM!!!!!!!!!!!
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: random . . . randomness November 05, 2015 at 03:37 PM UTC #
How many of those people are stealing food?
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: random . . . randomness November 05, 2015 at 03:37 PM UTC #
You know, how about you spend less time looking up videos trying to defend fatties and more time responding to my thoughtful queries about Montreal?!
ggw
Joined: December 16, 2001 at 06:01 AM UTC
Posts: 14237
Re: random . . . randomness November 05, 2015 at 04:14 PM UTC #
Carlos wrote:
You know, how about you spend less time looking up videos trying to defend fatties and more time responding to my thoughtful queries about Montreal?!


I think sweetcell's 29.1 BMI makes him a little touchy on this subject.
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: random . . . randomness November 05, 2015 at 04:18 PM UTC #
ggw wrote:
Carlos wrote:
You know, how about you spend less time looking up videos trying to defend fatties and more time responding to my thoughtful queries about Montreal?!


I think sweetcell&#039;s 29.1 BMI makes him a little touchy on this subject.
I'm willing to wager his weight has probably fluctuated one way or another since 2010. He met his wife at the gym, iirc!
Sidehatch
Joined: October 04, 2011 at 04:33 AM UTC
Posts: 25687
Re: random . . . randomness November 05, 2015 at 04:46 PM UTC #
ggw wrote:
Carlos wrote:
You know, how about you spend less time looking up videos trying to defend fatties and more time responding to my thoughtful queries about Montreal?!


I think sweetcell&#039;s 29.1 BMI makes him a little touchy on this subject.


GGW…will ensure cohesive continuity across all story lines
sweetcell
Joined: July 18, 2006 at 05:01 AM UTC
Posts: 22608
Re: random . . . randomness November 05, 2015 at 05:26 PM UTC #
Carlos wrote:
You know, how about you spend less time looking up videos trying to defend fatties

i'm not defending fatties per se.  i'm pointing out how hollow and weak the fat-shaming "arguments" are.

here's why i have such a visceral reaction: we have too much hate in the world.  hate does nothing but hurt and alienate.  we are social animals and we do better when we are connected.  nothing good has ever come from hate.  if you truly care about the obesity epidemic, do something constructive about it.  firing off hatred from behind a keyboard only makes the world a worse place.

edit: please listen to this political &quot;hambeast&quot;.  his message of compassion applies.  i'm not a fan of the man but this stuff resonates.

Carlos wrote:
and more time responding to my thoughtful queries about Montreal?!

yeah yeah, i'll get to it… right after i finish my fifth burrito ;D 

i haven't been back to MTL in a long, long time and i've never been to that festival so not sure how useful i'll be.

ggw wrote:
I think sweetcell&#039;s 29.1 BMI makes him a little touchy on this subject.

gee-gee-dub, you're awesome :)  i'm a little lower these days, in case you're worried about me.
hutch
Joined: Unknown
Posts: 0
Re: random . . . randomness November 05, 2015 at 06:00 PM UTC #
blow me Montgomery county.. so I park at a parking meter and was 5 minutes late getting back to car and sure enough $45 ticket..
do they sit by people's cars waiting for the meter to expire???
jrpa
Joined: September 03, 2013 at 03:15 PM UTC
Posts: 29999
Re: random . . . randomness November 05, 2015 at 06:08 PM UTC #
hutch wrote:
blow me Montgomery county.. so I park at a parking meter and was 5 minutes late getting back to car and sure enough $45 ticket..
do they sit by people&#039;s cars waiting for the meter to expire???

Life Pro Tip: if you are concerned about getting a parking ticket, keep your car running with the window wipers on high, rendering the officer unable to place the ticket on your windshield.
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