Just Announced

Originally posted by Relaxer:
That looks like the track listing of a Fall Out Boy record.

Or the next Sufjan Stevens album…

Originally posted by Relaxer:

Originally posted by ixkpd-bk:

Originally posted by amnesiac:

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
I enjoy Dane Cook. Mainly for the fact that he pisses all of you hipsters off so much.

I guess he's not ironic enough or his bitrate isn't above 160.

Brian

He's really not funny. At all. But what makes me really mad is that he got to make out with Jessica Alba :mad:

This is lifted from Gabriel Delahaye's (of Gawker's The Unethicist) blog. A real Jessica Alba quote:

JESSICA ALBA: Yeah, Iâ??ve always been wanting to do comedy. Thatâ??s one of the main reasons I got into this business in the first place. Iâ??ve always loved to make people laugh and it was the way that I sort of broke the ice when I was a kid with my friends. Iâ??d always do little skits or do little things, do anything really, to make people laugh. Oddly, in this business, I never really got a shot at it. Iâ??m not good at the half-hour comedy ba-dum-bump stuff. Iâ??m more into the physical comedy.

Jessica Albaâ??s first album will, of course, be titled â??Half-Hour Comedy Ba-Dum-Bump Stuffâ?. Here is a track listing (subject to change).

1. Intro
2. When I Wash My Hair, You Guys, I Follow the Instructions on the Shampoo Bottle
3. Whatâ??s the Most Money You Think You Could Spend on a Pair of Jeans? Double It, Then Get Them for Free from Your Publicist
4. Sushi (Skit)
5. This One Time I Was Hanging Out with Jack Nicholson in a Hot Tub, You Guys
6. Did You Ever Notice How Thereâ??s More Leg-Room in First Class?
7. Grape Nuts
8. One Time I Farted and Gold Came Out (Skit)
9. Whatâ??s the Deal with Cashmere Blends?
10. I Tell Reporters Iâ??m a â??Total Dorkâ? to Try and Avoid the Public Image of a Self-Obsessed, Vapid, Talentless Sex Object Who Only Has About Three More Years of Career Left Before Slowly Drinking Myself to Death in a â??Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?â? Scenario Come to Life, Which Is More Accurate.
11. Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Well, the Answer is No.
12. Farts and Butts
13. The Difference Between Having Sex for Money and Being Jessica Alba Is There Arenâ??t Any Temper Tantrums in Having Sex for Money
14. A Joke I Stole from Dane Cook
15. Iâ??m Surprised Iâ??m Not a Cocktail Waitress, Too
16. Darfur (skit)
17. The Sexiest Woman Alive Still Stares Into The Gaping Maw of the Eternal Nothing When the Sun Goes Down
18. Outro

That looks like the track listing of a Fall Out Boy record.

Let's wrap it up & put a bow on it, fam. Post of the week.

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
I enjoy Dane Cook.

Brian

Show of hands: who is surprised by this AT ALL?

Originally posted by callat703:

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
I enjoy Dane Cook.

Brian

Show of hands: who is surprised by this AT ALL?

*crickets*

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
I enjoy Dane Cook. Mainly for the fact that he pisses all of you hipsters off so much.

I guess he's not ironic enough or his bitrate isn't above 160.

Brian

Dude its official. Sobriety isn't working for you. Or something. Enjoying Dane Cook (proudly) is like finding yourself in a burning car b/c you crashed into the median going 120 while drunk and watching porn on your TV DVD. Its a wake-up call to reevaluate your values. Its not the hipsters that don't like him - its anyone with a sense of humor.

Originally posted by Mobius:

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
I enjoy Dane Cook. Mainly for the fact that he pisses all of you hipsters off so much.

I guess he's not ironic enough or his bitrate isn't above 160.

Brian

Dude its official. Sobriety isn't working for you. Or something. Enjoying Dane Cook (proudly) is like finding yourself in a burning car b/c you crashed into the median going 120 while drunk and watching porn on your TV DVD. Its a wake-up call to reevaluate your values. Its not the hipsters that don't like him - its anyone with a sense of humor.

*EPIPHANY/SIMILE POST*

A slight edit to post I made earlier this week:

Something like an SAT question:

Brian Walalce = Rhett, Jr.

Rhett & Brian = 930's resident haters

Rhett & Brian are to 9:30 board

what <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8b/StatlerAndWaldorf.jpg" alt=" - " />

are to The Muppet Show.

Rhett & Brian = The New Millenium Statler & Waldorf

Flowchart, please???

The Dihrectour

Originally posted by TheDirector217:

Originally posted by Shemp:

Originally posted by DeathFromAbove1979:
Dane Cook
Verizon Center
Washington, DC
Fri, 11/16/07
On Sale Fri, 10/12/07

How does this guy have a career?

Funny you bring that up. Is there anyone here that would pay $100 plus service charges to see this cat????? Anyone?????

I think he was hysterical, it seems like after Tourgasm and Vicious Circle his head got really big and he just wanted money that came through shitty movies.

Harmful if Swallowed and Retaliation are still ridiculous comedy albums.

Originally posted by callat703:

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
I enjoy Dane Cook.

Brian

Show of hands: who is surprised by this AT ALL?

the number of post-of-the-week candidates in the past 24 hours is mind-boggling.

Originally posted by sweetcell:

Originally posted by callat703:

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
I enjoy Dane Cook.

Brian

Show of hands: who is surprised by this AT ALL?

the number of post-of-the-week candidates in the past 24 hours is mind-boggling.

To be fair, the essential follow up that TheDirector provided completed the post.

Originally posted by TheDirector217:
Rhett &amp; Brian = 930's resident haters

I'm not a hater. I just have a remarkable bullshit detector and an aversion to performing fellatio on Misters Corgan, Yorke, Sumner, Hewson, Butler, Springsteen, Tweedy, etc.

Brian

P.S. Your mash note to U2 the other day was heartwarming, Mr. Director.

Originally posted by DeathFromAbove1979:
I think he was hysterical

Harmful if Swallowed and Retaliation are still ridiculous comedy albums.

DFA79, you're like 16, right?

i'm seeing a pattern here.

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:

Originally posted by TheDirector217:
Rhett &amp; Brian = 930's resident haters

I just have a remarkable bullshit detector and an aversion to performing fellatio on Misters Corgan, Yorke, Sumner, Hewson, Butler, Springsteen, Tweedy, etc.

Brian

You mean an aversion to…musicians? Talent?

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
I'm not a hater. I just have a remarkable bullshit detector and an aversion to performing fellatio on Misters Corgan, Yorke, Sumner, Hewson, Butler, Springsteen, Tweedy, etc.

who exactly do you enjoy fellating, brian?

Originally posted by sweetcell:

Originally posted by Brian Wallace:
I'm not a hater. I just have a remarkable bullshit detector and an aversion to performing fellatio on Misters Corgan, Yorke, Sumner, Hewson, Butler, Springsteen, Tweedy, etc.

who exactly do you enjoy fellating, brian?

I think he somehow managed to keep his appearance in Pete Wentz's home movie out of the public eye.

Originally posted by sweetcell:
who exactly do you enjoy fellating, brian?

No one. I don't fellate. But, why don't you tell us all who YOU enjoy fellating and confirm all those ugly rumors.

Brian

latent homophobia much, mr. walalce?

i'm really tempted to reply "just you, big boy" but that would make me a pedophile - which i'm not.

Somebody better start fellating up a new announcement.

To get things back on track here:

PAUL SANCHEZ (OF COWBOY MOUTH) AND
ERIC BACHMAN (OF ARCHERS OF LOAF AND CROOKED FINGERS)
IOTA
11/11

At Rock & Roll Hotel:
White Rabbits - 11/9
Maritime - 11/24
Redwalls & Jonathan Rice - 12/5

The correct answer, obviously, would've been "your mother."

Originally posted by sweetcell:
i'm really tempted to reply "just you, big boy" but that would make me a pedophile - which i'm not.

I think it's pretty funny that some of you are so stuck up you think you can accurately judge what should make people laugh and what should not make people laugh.

"Funny" is about as subjective as it gets.